taxi1010 - Comebacks to Emotional & Verbal Abuse

taxi1010.com — Nursery

SEEDLINGS

"Constructive Comebacks to Insulting Situations."

OUCH. When someone attacks you with words, most people fight back, saying way too much, or they stifle themselves, saying nothing. However, when you respond in these ways, you can get into sort of a kicked-dog syndrome, barking helplessly, sulking around corners, or snapping at strangers. The way out is to say very little until you can contact the deepest parts of yourself and feel whole again.

Defending yourself with certain ideas, expressed in a few words, gives your attacker a bewildering choice: They either have to attack the idea, or they have to attack the part of you which is instinctive and capable of defending itself.

This is a staging area containing hundreds of messages for yourself, and precise notions you can use to deflect attacks, so you have a chance to get back inside yourself and heal. Click on any picture or highlighted link to see how they are used.

A. A big dog, forget it! • A big powwow. • A bunny rabbit. • A candle just burns four nights. • A charmed life, huh? • A child is a slave. • A child molester may attack you. • A Christian can find a good sign in anything. • A cut above the crowd, as they used to say. • A dangerous threat to the community. • A dog from Africa! In the wilds of the north. • A dream come true. • A dull cog in the machinery of life. • A fish is the sign of the fisherman. • A frail little person. • A frozen moment. • A giant, warm wet spot. • A good horse does it all. • A huge amount, I guess. • A huge hit. • A human being can talk back or walk away. • A hundred kinds of peppers. • A job for everyone. • A knight in shining armor. • A list of things to do in Portland: (1) Get out. • A little bird came and told me. • A little chilly, huh? • A little different than that. • A little flea bite. • A little funeral — I wish for him to die, and that your life is a party. • A little goes a long way. • A little of both. • A little of everything. • A little peace and quiet. • A little village outside of Hong Kong, right? • A longing for success and frequent experience with failure. • A lot I need it for. • A lot of people don't have a sense of humor — I've been fighting against it my whole life. • A lot of people don't know their parents were wrong. • A lot of people from different places think different things are friendly. • A lot of people must do that. • A lot of pressure. • A lot of rich people owned islands. • A lot of things I didn't know about. • A lot of what they say has to be discounted. • A lot of what you think is bad, is not bad. • A low-rent worldliness. • A man of the people, right? • A manic depressive who never gets manic. • A mature person would not insult you. • A model citizen. • A model isn't an idea; it's a guide to the idea. • A myriad of theorized force fields. • A natural, huh? • A negative return on investment. • A new thrill. • A pain in the ass! • A part of me does. • A person has to be what they are. • A person who helps people is never at a loss. • A rainbow of mental equipment. • A red heifer has to be born. • A sense of humor helps. • A serious drinker is a serious worker. • A singing nerve! • A snow princess. • A song goes round the world. • A star! – There's nothing on the web like that! – The colony needs maple syrup – People don't quite understand what a delicate thing it is – If you can see where it goes, you can see where it comes from. • A stork brought you, but a blackbird smashed me on the Earth. • A thief can sometimes help people better than a hospital. • A three-dimensional granite block that says, "Business is lousy." • A total terror. • A tragic waste. • A tribute. • A trip to the moon on gossamer wings. • A university on the moon: Moon U. • A very intelligent person told me that – What difference does it make? • A word to the wise is sufficient. • Aaron T. Beck says, "There is more to the surface than meets the eye." • Absence makes the heart grow fonder. • Acting strong is not the same thing as being strong. • Adios amiga! • Africa screams. • After a bad day, right? • After a while you want to change your life – if you can. • After many a summer, dies the swan. • After three I lose count. • Again? • Again! How many times has this happened? • Against the background of whatever else there is. • Alcohol: It does so much for you and asks for so little in return. • All at the same time, you mean? • All beat up ... Those were the days. • All day and all night you want to kill someone. • All different. • All doors are open. • All gone! • All happiness is earned. • All he does is kick and swirl his penis around like a propellor. • All I can say is, don't ever get gonorrhea. • All I can say is, there must be a God. [For all bird droppings, accidental spills, splatters, smudges, stains, drools, and incontinence, simply go to the rest room, take off the garment, wash it with soap and cold water, and put it back on. Clothes don't take long to dry when you're wearing them. If anyone says anything, reply, "Just brutal," and wrinkle your nose. The Chinese say these kinds of accidents bring you extremely good luck the rest of the day, and I've found that to be true. I've also seen the coolest people suddenly leave and return with a series of wet spots on their clothes, and no one ever says anything! People don't even see other people. While your clothes are drying, talk to an intelligent gym teacher or school counselor, because they are genuinely interested in your all-around health] • All is not lost – They're rats! – I got to hear this – Is that the best you can do? ... She understands everything ... Something funny ... That's her role. [Or simply get up and move to a quieter place – Why work for these people?] • All is revealed. • All night long. • All of a sudden. • All over the world. • All over your yard. • All right – It's yours. • All right! Now we're getting somewhere. • All sorts of things. • All that! • All that stuff. • All that stuff is bullshit. • All that trouble for nothing. • All the old-time favorites. • All the stars come out at night. • All the triumphs of religion are due to germs. (–See William Mcneill's Plagues and Peoples) • All the way to the end. • All these revivals and traditions are on the way out ... It's all evaporating ... Anyone who believes in God somewhere down deep believes They're God. • All things come to dogs who wait. • All things come to those who wait. • All those things. • All winter if you want. • All you can expect from someone like that is rejection – They'll reject you to overcome their pain. • All you get from another person is the opportunity to help them a little. • All you have to do is stick to your wish to live. • All you need is a brain. • All your base are belong to us ... You are on the way to destruction ... HA, HA, HA, HA. • All's well that ends well. • Allah loves the lazy. • Allah! means breathing, and for some people, that's enough. • Allow me to dream a little longer. • Almost done. • Almost never. • Almost there! • Also, I have secrets of the soul. • Always blooming. • Always do unto others what your self is doing unto you. • Always hopeful. • Always say, No, you go first! • Always wait until tomorrow. • Always working. • Am I a Jew? Yes. Is my face dirty? Yes. I'm a dirty Jew. • Am I missing something? • Amazing things! Things you wouldn't believe ... You can fool around and change it. • Among other things. • An art lover. • An artist is never poor. • An AUTHENTIC question. • An earthshaking human disaster. • An eye-opener. • An urban setting. • Ancient footprints. • And? • And a few other things. • And aren't you lucky? • AND DON"T STOP. • And everything's nailed down, I suppose. • And have a sense of humor about it! • And hoping it rains! • And how about in your refrigerator? • And I don't care what you say. • And I thought I was crazy. • And I thought you were the expert. • And I'm looking forward to a long, rich, full life. • And I'm Mother Nature. • And if they don't do it right, scold them! • And if you do, watch out! • And if you don't, it's okay. • And I've got the flashing lights to prove it! • And Lawrence of Arabia! • And quite a few other people. • And so am I! • And that'll do it. • And the pig at the end gains the most weight. • And the rat takes the bait. • And then some. • And then you get an eye patch – It's a bargain! – Maybe not as good, but who cares? – Do I know you from somewhere? – Have we met? • And then you're in a coffin in the middle of the room? • And there'll be a present for you ... after the program. • And they left in a huff. • And they wonder why jazz is dead. • And this is supposed to make me happy? • And to think, I just went out for a loaf of bread, and I wound up the richest man in India. • And warmth, too! – People don't need advice – They should just understand themselves – They don't even want help – You can't help people, but some people want to understand themselves, and some people don't. • And watch yourself at all times! • And weird stuff. • And what about the metric system? • And where were you? • And who else? • And WORSE! • And you ask me why I'm happy. • And you could make it up, too. • And you don't even wonder why. • And you don't need it. • And you thought you had troubles – Find somebody in the business – Forget it! – Sorry, I'm not a psychiatrist, but you certainly may need one. [You're better off "swallowing it" (meanness) because ... let sleeping dogs lie ... Slow down, almost falling asleep, yet stay very alert – sense your hand and play with your fingers – sense your genitals] • And you're going to Bermuda ... There's not many people that bad ... There you go – It's your big breakthrough [getting angry] ... Is there a mound of dirt in the back yard? ... Shut up or we'll drop another bomb on you. • And you're in between. • Angels did, Mom! • Anger is not too fast – not too smart. • Angry Dad! Come in here! Get this dragon out of the toilet! • Animal and dog. • Another bridge to nowhere. • Another day. • Another deep thinker. • Another genius of our time. • Another handicap. • Another language. • Another level. • Another live wire. • Another one? • Another racket. • Another reason to go to college ... and to not join a fraternity. • Another victim. • Any money? ... Go and get a liver transplant. • Any more butterflies of hate fluttering from level to level? • Any tips? ... Didn't he have a great technique? • Any way is fine. • Any way you look at it, it's bad. • Anybody who's good at anything. • Anyone can listen. • Anyone can talk without their teeth ... You can't work in casinos if you're a jailbird. • Anyone does. • Anyone who wants. • Anything else your heart desires? • Anything goes. • Anything helps. • Anything interesting for me? • Anything missing? • Anything more? • Anything old. • Anything you write in an e-mail is public property; you never know where it's going to go; so be careful what you say. • Anyway, what prompts this question? ... Thank you! ...Who would have guessed? ... Thank you! ... I can't compare ... Thank you! ... Why so many questions? ... Thank you! ... More questions than God. • Apparently. • Apparently not. • 'Arabs think!' – They believe anything that anyone tells them – They're going to take over the world three ways: money, culture, and lying – There's no place sacred – Must have been a tribe – Next time come down the chimney. • Are we under the ocean? Are we in a glass bell? Do we have horse heads? • Are you a bird spirit? • Are you a handicapped tomato? • Are you a magician? Now you see it, now you don't! Is that a magic trick? • Are you bad when you don't know things? • Are you bragging? • Are you cold? • Are you downsizing? • Are you finished scaring me? • Are you going to cheat me? • Are you holding it hostage? • Are you in this spot forever? • Are you jealous? • Are you kidding me? • Are you losing money? • Are you lucky! • Are you my boss? • Are you my little boss? • Are you planted there? [Some people just go around to bars and theaters to annoy people, acting the way a two-year-old might; they never grew out of it; the best thing to do is to say nothing and move to another seat; you're not some actor in a Stan and Ollie movie] • Are you still afraid of monsters? • Are you sure? • Are you sure it's good enough? • Are you sure you wanted to say that? • Are you the woman I bit at the last full moon? • Are you trying to make me feel like a heel? • Are you trying to outshine Death? • Are you trying to stifle my creativity? • Are you trying to trick people? • Are you worried things aren't correct? • Are your bolts itching? • Aren't I lucky? • Aren't I lucky to be a wreck? • Aren't you interested in truth? • Around my office you have to have a sense of humor about confidentiality. • As always. • As I go. • As if it even matters. • As if something terrible is going on that's never gone on before. • As if you don't have enough troubles. • As if you're not supposed to. • As it is written, so shall it be done. • As long as you're a living creature, you have to accept life as a given. • As long as you're alive, you're doing all right. • As long as your idea is to learn something, how can you lose? • As the world turns! • As they say in Trenton, New Jersey, I'm not prejudiced about any stereotypes – Jump up and grab God's toe. • As we go. • As you go along, you'll find cheap little shots are the meaning of life. • As you like. • Ask around. • Ask my assistant. • Ask your mother! • "Astronomers Sleeping — Please Be Quiet." • At a certain point you can just let it go. • At a moment's notice. • At least I have a sense of humor about it. • At least I won't have to work anymore. • At least I'm not a lying pig ... I understand what goodness and decency are. • At least it's different. • At least it's led you to something comfortable, practical, pleasant. • At least it's safe. • At least LA is really dirty. • At least someone has a little life in them. • At least someone's got a brain in their head – George Carlin says, Think how stupid the average person is, and realize, half of them are stupider than that! • At least ... With millions of little silver picture frames on it ... People are asleep ... and they're mean, too, if you wake them up. • At least you can see what people are like. • At least you don't suffer. • At least you know what you're doing. • At least you know what you're not missing. • At least you're not a professional self-destroyer. • At many locations. • At some level. • Authentic hatchet! Authentic hatchet! Do you know what "Authentic hatchet!" means? Real axe! Get it? ("RELAX!") • Aw, blow it out your ass! • Away from the farm! ... What a time to be a child ... It reminds me of things to come ... It's like science fiction.

B. Back to the future. • Backpacks and all. • Bad call, dad. You're wrong, dad. • Bad children grow up ... Kill yourself before you get in trouble ... I want you to stop living ... That's all there is to it. • Bad monsters! I'm going to scratch your eyes out with my hands. • Bank on it, pal! • Be brave! • Be careful. • Be kind to yourself. • Be jealous of your attention, and greedy for beautiful impressions. • "Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men." (–Romans 12:16-17) • "Be!" –Plato; "Do!" –Aristotle; "Do-be! Do-be! Do!" –Sinatra. • Be proud you're in a panic — It puts you in the top one percent of humanity. • Be seeing you! • Be specific. • Beats the alternative. • Beautiful day today ... I don't know how it happened, but we had a beautiful day ... Well, phantom rains – It probably won't reach you ... Let's see, the sun shined, a few clouds went by, the tide went out ... The wet weather is wicked, huh? ... They have little rain cells ... Whatever they say, it's the opposite ... They're always wrong ... Have you ever seen it rain on one side of the street while the other side remains totally dry? ... It's better when it's warm than when it's cold ... It's better ... Unsettled ... They never know ... We'll see ... Big tragedy ... No shit! ... It's hot today, isn't it? ... But that's what gave birth to the blues! • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. • Because I don't want to get in a rut. • Because if you look like a monkey, you'll never get a job. • Because it bores me – That's the secret of great diets. • Because it grows better that way. • Because it's cheap. • Because it's your genes. • Because nobody cares – Of course! No one wants that – What do we care? • Because of our foreign policy. • Because that's the way it was. • Because the Red Sox lost. • Because we live right. • Because we need a good circus, right? • Because you're not clairvoyant. • Because you're not making any money! ... Hold on to your cash, and stay out of trouble ... Life is easier than you think. • Because you're pretty? Because you're smart? • Because you're smart. • Because your parents are cheap. • Bed sores? This is the worst day of my life. • Before the cock crows, you will betray me. • Before trouble started. • Before you. • Before your time. • Beggars can't be choosers. • Behind that is total slimy kiss-my-ass crap ... In front of that is total ignoring ... Earlier than that is buried childhood traumas and immense suffering ... Over that is a stubborn knot of anger ... Under that is a tangled braid of neglect and desperation ... After that they can't even understand "meaning"; it's the world of gloss ... Avoidance ("God") is what keeps the trauma alive. • Being born into some families is like being given a life sentence for a crime you never committed. (–Chris Phillips) • Being exclusive. • Being nice! • Being punctual is important. • Being wrong is not bad; being bad is not wrong – Some things can't be helped; some things can't be rushed – Don't try to find yourself in a mess – How could your self be in a mess? You could be under it. • Believe me ... I want you to try harder. • Believe me, I've been through it. • Believe you me! • Best ever. • Better late than never. • Better limited and alive than unlimited and dead. • Better not to generalize – Be specific. • Better sooner than later. • Better than chocolate! • Better than having to go fishing. • Better than loving a brick. • Better than nothing. • Better than playing with yourself in public. • Between the Devil and the deep blue sea. • Between you and me, I wouldn't bother. • Beware of blondes with blue eyes and sharp tongues. • Beyond being devastatingly good-looking. • Beyond comprehension. • Beyond that. • Big deal — Tempest in a teapot. • Big deal ... You need more faith. • Big mistake. • Big mystery. • Big news. • Birds fly—It's not hard. • Bitchy rednecks ... I don't even care anymore. • Bizarre, huh? • Black is beautiful. • Blow the dust off the driveway! – That's something useless. • Blowing bubbles. • Bob Dylan. • Born to achieve. • Boy, did you miss an opportunity. • Boy, do you learn fast in those places – I'm just telling you the lowdown – See where it goes, and then you can see where it's coming from. • Boy, that's advanced. • Bozo makes people laugh. • Breaking rules – Everyone has the right to be what they are! • Brick by brick, my citizens. • Bring that up at the next meeting! • Bring your own. • Bubble universes. • Buckets of light. • Buried in the Bastille for two hundred years, and now it's coming to light. And you say, don't make so much noise! I'm powdering my nose. • Burning questions. • Busy day. • But ... can the world take it? • But less. • But not out loud ... The moon with a fish in it ... That's breathing. • But not us. • But of course it's against the rules to help a child. • But, that's the story! • But the King has a couple more in the harem. • But you don't know on which side. • But you have to keep your eye on the sparrow. • But you never know with these kooks. • Buy the book and find out. • By and large; more or less; in any event; inasmuch as; in a nutshell; at any rate; for the most part; by the way; by all means; in just a few words; insofar as; any old how! ... Now I'm a real cosmopolitan killer of the revolution! • By any means. • By whose authority?

C. Call my lawyer. • Call the FBI. • Call when you have something pleasant to say. • Camel, donkey, star and all! • Can I compare thee to a toilet? • Can two spiders share the same web? • Can we just hate each other in peace? • Can you? • Can you believe it? • Can you imagine? • Can you imagine what they turn out to be? • Can you loan me any money? • Can you point out the person who paid for this? • Can you prove that you're alive? • Can you remember? • Can you tell? • Can't be any different than it used to be. • Can't imagine. • Can't miss. • Can't resist. • Can't you do anything wrong? • Can't you go back to something else? • Capable of doing things outside, too ... Kiss Student! ... Don't leave yourself out! • Carthage must be destroyed! • Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, Doctor Zhivago. • Cats are slinky. • Cats are worse – The whole secret is to not get rugs! • 'Cause you find yourself doing these weird things. • 'Cause you've got that thing, that certain thing; That makes me rush off to Cartier's for a wedding ring; That makes birds forget to sing; 'Cause you've got that thing, that certain thing ... You're way ahead ... I'm really wondering who you are, what you're up to, and what you think life is all about? • Cell phones ... It's open season. • Certainly. • C'est la vie! • Chapter Eleven — It's right after Chapter Ten. • Character Analysis (Wilhelm Reich, 1933) is the best book ever written about Freudian psychology. • Charmed. • Charming! • Cheating everyone. • Children have a way of curing people – if you're nice to them. • Choose something. • Ciao, bella! • Citizen Canine: The World According to Dog. • Citizen Tom Paine. • Civilizations collapse because people are dumb; as long as people are crooks, we'll do good ... Whoa! That works good, doesn't it? • Clean, clean, clean! Order, order, order! Control, control, control! • Clean slate. • Clever, huh? • Closer and closer to the source! ... It was on the news ... That's what you get for having a good mind ... Today's child. • Cold, huh? • Come into my corner, said the spider to the fly! • Come on, evaporate, you ding-dong! ... Do you think I should be a monster or a princess? ... Maybe you could buy your house and kick your mom and dad out – then you'd be rich! ... I don't mind if you're smart – I like it when you're smart – I don't mind it at all – It means you understand things you'll understand a lot when you're big. • Come on over! If the door doesn't open, break it down. • Come on, sweetie! Out! Out! • Comme ci, comme ça. • "Consider the subtle difference between 'having no form' and having 'no form'; the first is ignorance, the second is transcendence." (–Bruce Lee) • Cost effective, right? • Could you ask for anything less? • Could you do it for me? I'm an MBA. • Could you tell in any way? • Could you tell me where 57th Street is, or should I just go fuck myself? • Craving power ... That's no good ... Everyone else is anyway ... There's something better ... Don't give me a hard time! ... Don't ask questions! ... I only tell really special people ... Paul Bern was a fairy ... Just charming! ... He died before I was born ... Put up or shut up! ... You have to let someone else take care of the baby ... It's too hard ... If you want to do it, you can ... I'm not missing anything except death ... Everyone thinks they're entitled ... Before anything! • Crazy, sick, stupid and depraved. • Creepy enough — Now don't bother me anymore! • Crossed wires. • Cryptic, enigmatic. • Culp and Cosby. • Cunning and exile. • Customers come first.

D. Daily. • Dancing on the ceiling. • Danger is just around the corner — Let's move the furniture! • Dangerous. • Dartmouth, '68. • David Daniels says, "If you hold a question now, someday you will realize you have lived into the answer." • Day and night. • Day is night and night is day. • Deadly serious. • Dealing cards? • Dealings with the generous are not difficult. • Dear God, please come here and save us, but don't send Jesus, because this is not a place for a child. • "Dear Madam," wrote Winston Churchill, "You may very well be right." • Death, six billion. • Deeply concerned. • Delighted. • Delirious! • Delusions of grandeur and happiness don't mix. • Did a priest get you when you were seven? • Did anyone ever choke you? • Did anyone yell out, "I wonder why?" • Did I say you could breathe? • Did it bring back memories? • Did it shine in the dark? • Did someone step on a duck? • Did you become a traitor? ... Wearing sateen, dark red lipstick, hanging out in pool houses ... You never know what they're going to do ... It hurts a lot ... Maybe I'll change my ways ... I feel better about it now ... When the lion is chasing the antelope, he doesn't look back. • Did you ever go off on a tangent? • Did you ever hear the saying, "Between the devil and the deep blue sea ..." —? • Did you ever wink at a nun? • Did you go in your cave again? • Did you have trouble finding a place to park? • Did you know Indians used to put their ear on the railroad track to hear if the train was coming? • Did you know that you're riding with the Mozart of cab drivers? • Did you know your house is filled with cockroaches? ... Now it's beginning to float. • Did you make a wish? • Did you read, "Hansel and Gretel?" • Did you say, because I was never anointed? ... Long time! ... Whenever. Whenever you feel comfortable ... How often do you get a chance to do nothing and sit and be waited on by everyone? ... When you're seventeen, you can't tell who likes you ... It should just take a day to get out of this ... It's not like you're going to die if you don't do something every second of the day ... It is brute strength, but it's the mental kind! ... Whoever's calling the plays, forget it! ... Just don't ever get an endowment from the National Council of Arts, 'cause it'll be one bitch after another! ... I think you get used to it, and you know it won't last forever ... You have to change ... I might as well have a little party since I'm at the lowest point of my ... This could be a treasure ... He squandered the family fortune ... So far this is the prize of my collection ... It wasn't cheap ... Saving up to go to graduate school ... The outcast of the islands! ... Maybe the new direction isn't up, it's out ... If you look out (at people), maybe you'll see the world of ideas ... No poet can write good English! ... They go skiing in November in Vermont, whatever they're supposed to do, they do ... Send 'em back on the farm! ... They were all these put-down artists. • Did you say something? • Did you work hard today? • Didn't Albert Einstein say that? • Didn't anyone ever hear the expression, "When pigs have wings?" • Didn't your mother tell you not to talk to strangers? • Different cultures, different things. • Different people are good at different things. • Different people do different things. • Different people have different ideas. • Different things like that. • Dinosaurs are a pain in the ass. • Diplomatic, huh? • Dirt cheap. • Distracted. • Do as little as possible. • Do I get a pill soon? • Do I have a place to put them? • Do I have to do everything you tell me to? • Do I know what I'm not doing? • Do I look like an alien to you? ... I meant it as a joke! • Do it again! • Do it before the fall! • Do it by moonlight. • Do it the wrong way. • Do it yesterday! • Do less. • Do not pass Go. • Do something nice for yourself and you'll feel better. • Do they deliver? • Do unto others as they do unto you — but do it first! • Do we understand each other then? • Do what you want. • Do you? • Do you ever get angry when you swim underwater? • Do you feel better? • Do you feel hopeful? • Do you feel that's the right way to talk to someone who feels hurt? • Do you feel twice blessed? • Do you feel worse? ... Okay! Let's continue. • Do you feel you've done something wrong and you're going to ... be punished? ... Oh, I made two hundred thousand dollars yesterday. • Do you have a cleanliness disorder? • Do you have lifeboats on your office building? • Do you know that's ALL some people have? • Do you know what really makes the time pass? • Do you know who Lochinvar is? • Do you know why? • Do you like doing it? • Do you mind if I do it in ten years? • Do you need a new boss down at the factory? • Do you need antlers? • Do you need any? • Do you realize there's an audience here, and there's not much of an audience here? • Do you sit on the giant turtles? • Do you sneer at people who ask you what a fellowship is? • Do you think the holidays have anything to do with it? • Do you think this is something new? • Do you want the sane answer or the insane answer? • Do you want to look at it? • Do you want to rent it from me? • Do you wish you had one of your own? • Does anybody know — Are you supposed to tip the guy who fixes your computer? • Does every mountain lion kill? • Does God have antlers? • Does it cost anything? • Does it hurt your feelings? • Does that bring up anything? • Does that mean I'm sincere? • Does that mean that I am? • Does that ring a bell? • Does victory settle all arguments? • Dog is my copilot. • Dogs don't care. • Dogs know everything. • Doing is the only magic. • Don't accept praise, and don't accept criticism – Just do things. • Don't adjust! • Don't aggravate me while I'm working. • Don't allow yourself to wonder what you'll do next, and then you'll live into it. • Don't ask and don't count on it is my philosophy of life. • Don't ask me for my phone number! • Don't ask me to carry any crosses. • Don't be absurd — You're lying. • Don't be afraid to ask for support. • Don't be shy — Don't be good. • Don't be surprised. [See Thumbnail User's Guide] • Don't be too sure. • Don't believe anything until you see it. • Don't believe everything you think! • Don't blame me. • Don't blame me for being smart! Blame my family! • Don't blame me ... You did it! I didn't kill the dog! You did it! • Don't bother. • Don't bother 'em — Leave 'em alone! Bring your own. • Don't break the spell, that's all I ask. • Don't change horses in midstream! • Don't cheat me. • Don't cheat yourself. • Don't chug out too many credits. • Don't come! • Don't count on it. • Don't cry too much about it. • Don't deny it! • Don't do anything. • Don't do too much or it'll kill you. • Don't eat anything you like. • Don't even think about it. • Don't ever do anything halfway. • Don't ever let anyone you know near your family or they'll hate you. • Don't ever worry about something you can't change. • Don't expect anything – You can only be pleasantly surprised. • Don't feel cheated. • Don't forget! • Don't forget to breathe! • Don't forget to leave the register open. • Don't fret if it doesn't float your boat! I'm just warming up. • Don't fuck with my culture — No one should ever aggravate me. • Don't get caught! • Don't get heartbroken. • Don't get other people to blame for your troubles. • Don't get sucked in. • Don't give away all my secrets. • Don't go around in a circle. • Don't hate the players – Hate the game! • Don't hit any plants. • Don't hold back. • Don't hold it against me. • Don't hurt me, mom, because I'm hitting myself! • Don't hurt your head! • Don't include me. • Don't kid yourself. • Don't kill yourself. • Don't knock it! You may want to do that one day ... You might ... Are you the one who is effusing foul emotions? ... Don't inhale! ... When you're not attacking innocent people, what are you doing? ... Goodie two-shoes, one; burning ember, nothing ... You must go crazy roasting marshmallows at a campfire ... Let's call it quits ... Put on a whale suit, pour on a bucket of water ... Hang in there ... Okay, is that enough? • Don't knock the Ivy League! • Don't lend him any money. • Don't let anyone push you around. • Don't let frenzied sea creatures deter you! • Don't let it get you down. • Don't let me catch you throwing your clothes around tomorrow! • Don't let people suck you into their misery. • Don't let the cat out of the bag, whatever you do. • Don't look! • Don't lose control! • Don't make me cry. • Don't mess with anything. • Don't pay bills you don't have to pay. • Don't put all your love on one thing or one person. • Don't roll your eyes at me! • Don't rush me! ... I slept my way through night school ... Why fuss? • Don't say. • [Don't say anything at all to the people; talk to the manager, who is supposed to call the police or do something; if you have any confrontation at all with the people, they're likely to wait and settle it, outside the restaurant; do what a gangster would do, which is nothing] "Behind the morning glories, behind the arbor, behind the falling fence ..." • Don't say anything; don't sign anything; just put it in the bank. • Don't say anything to anybody. • Don't say I didn't tell you. • Don't say I deprived you of a screw. • DON'T SAY THAT! DON'T SAY THAT WORD! • Don't say that too loud – You might start a stampede. • Don't say you know me. • Don't scare me. • Don't sell yourself short. • Don't smell! • Don't snap! • Don't suffer too much. • Don't take candy from strangers! • Don't take too much credit. • Don't talk to me – My friends will laugh at me. • Don't tell! • Don't tell anyone. • Don't tell anyone my secret. • Don't tell anyone you know! • Don't tell it to turn into a snake! • Don't tell me about a bicycle in the basement of the Alamo. • Don't tell me how I feel. I feel things. You don't. • Don't tell me it's nothing for you. • Don't tell me the end – I haven't seen it. • Don't tell me things like that! • Don't tell me what that means! • Don't tell me you're losing money – Would you like me to tell you a story? – It doesn't make that much of a difference to me – I don't care, because I don't need it – Life is so stupid, it's mysterious – The submarine just left for Africa. • Don't tell too many people. • Don't they? • Don't throw me in the briar patch! • Don't throw us in the briar patch! ... By the way, rubber duckies are out. • Don't tip anyone off. • Don't trust your relatives! • Don't try to figure things out — Feed what's inside you! • Don't twist it too much. • Don't volunteer! • Don't worry about it. • Don't worry about it! Take a powder! • Don't worry about it until something happens, that's my advice. • Don't worry about money. • Don't worry about this one. • Don't worry — It won't get worse. • Don't worry — You can count on ineptness. • Don't you agree? • Don't you dare say I'm good with money! ... Don't you dare say I'm living by my wits! ... Oh, she'll never get to the next level of academic charm ... It's very hard denying the truth. • Don't you have a cat you can slap around? • Don't you know about stars? • Don't you want to set a good example for your dogs? • Don't you wish you had one? • Donald Duck's sister — What a wit! — That's all I know. • Donuts are getting sophisticated. • Double check! • Double digit diarrhea. • Down and dirty. • Down by the old mill ..., across the burning ..., my .... • Down deep. • Down like a mother-fucker for truth! (–Oedipus of Thieves) • Dreamer! • Dress is optional. • Drive yourself crazy. • Dude, you have no idea ... Right on! ... For sure ... Like, you know what? ... No worries. • Dug out of solid rock. • Duke, maybe.

E. E. Leave! Leave! F. That's nothing for a man like me; G. And that's my problem how? H. I am so incapable of making a mistake, it's beyond belief – thanks to my mother! • Early is better than later. • Easier said than done. • Easy does it. • Easy the hard way. • Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die. • Eat your heart out! • Eight ball in the left pocket! • Eight things at once. • Eighteen times in the last three weeks. • Either that or go to the Harmony Hut. • Either way it's okay. • Either way you win. • Emerging into the sunlight. • Employee of the Minute! • Engaged. • Enough already! • Enough is enough. • Enough to make it worth our while, I guess. • Erase the anathema! • Especially if you can't see. • Especially if you like dogs. • Especially in Berkeley. • Especially you. • Even at midnight. • Even before that. • Even happiness? • Even if he lives on Mars. • Even if it isn't true. • Even if it seems foolish. • Even if it's bad for you. • Even if there are things wrong with me, why can't people like me? • Even in the rain. • Even lower than that. • Even more! • Even more trouble for the rednecks. • Even my mother would have no complaints with this one. • Even now. • Even on the weekends. • Even when I was little. • Even when it's bad. • Even worse! • Ever hear of a chameleon on plaid? • Ever hear of a vacation? • Ever popular. • Ever waiting. • Every ball of string unravels. • (1.) Everything cheap you can think of; (2.) My idea of self is much simpler than yours; (3.) Anybody can; (4.) Very interested, are you? (5.) On the Avenue of Dreams; (6.) When you've got a routine, stick with it; (7.) A lot of people, their entire self-esteem is built upon hating other people; (8.) Why live in one dimension? (9.) I'm a little reckless; (10.) If you never intended to, and don't even have to, then you don't even have to, right? • Every day is the day of the dead. • Every dog has its day. • Every five minutes that's something else. • Every horse has its stall, every pig has its pen, every bird has its nest, and life knows best what is right. • Every little thing adds up. • Every minute. • Every question is asked, and every question is answered. • Every reason! • "Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world." (–Mississippi) ... It would be a big advantage. • Every stick has two ends ... Do I ever ... leave you out? • Every time I stop my car, somebody tries to steal my shoes. • Every time I think something bad's happened, something good's happened. • Every time you get angry, you'll live another ten years. • Every time you talk to me, it lowers my IQ. • Every year you live, add another year to your life. • Everybody gets what they want. • Everybody has something to conceal. • Everybody is good at something, and sooner or later, it comes out. • Everybody knows a beautiful little girl when they see one. • Everybody learns many things. • Everybody looks good at closing time. • Everybody wants smart people in their country. • Everybody, without thinking, thinks whatever they learned when they were little, is right. • Everybody's bad — Everybody's good. • Everyone but me. • Everyone does the best they can. • Everyone else has someone telling them what to do. • Everyone gets blamed. • Everyone has a chance to understand everything. • Everyone has bad days. • Everyone has their own way. • Everyone has to tell themselves what to do. • Everyone has trouble with authority figures. • Everyone helps everyone. • Everyone is rude to people who think they're better than other people. • Everyone knows me — Everyone hates me! • Everyone knows you have to go slow. • Everyone misses ... You're never going to be any richer than you are now ... Full of nouveau riche gutter snipes ... Is this a threat? ... World domination. • Everyone should listen to their mother. • Everyone talks where I come from. • Everyone's a part of it. • Everyone's frustrated. • Everyone's gone through that phase ... A little wound up. • Everyone's just as bad as everyone else — except for Mimi — she never bit a dog! • Everyone's leaving – They're like rats leaving the ship. • Everyone's scared of monsters! • Everyone's the same — the Irish, the Jews. • Everything but! • Everything could be like that. • Everything flows. • Everything he sees now will be part of his mind. • Everything is good if you're alive. • Everything reflects on you. • Everything that happens, it's better. • Everything you can imagine. • Everything you can think of. • Everything you think it is, it isn't. • Everything you thought about High School is true for eternity. • Everything's easy if you understand what's going on. • Everything's fine, we have nothing to worry about. • Everything's in codes because there's all these stupid rules. • Everything's ready to go. • Except on rare occasions. • Excuse me — We're both talking at the same time. • Expect more! • Expect the worst. • Exploring, exploring, ever exploring. • Extremely human.

F. Faith is really paying attention. • Fake it! • Family values: No matter how smart you are, your mother is smarter. • Famous animal friends. • Far be it from me to aggravate anyone. • Far from it. • Far worse! • Feed your family! • Feeding a child — That's the definition of good. • Feeling sorry for someone is not liking them. • Feeling strong by imitating others is not being you. • File that! • Find one. • Find one that doesn't count. • Find something you like: (1.) Just small little things; (2.) You're not wasting your money, really; (3.) I'm a great believer; (4.) Good memory; (5.) Good mind; (6.) Quantum; (7.) That's going to come back to haunt you; (8.) Isn't that a pisser, though? (9.) Complaining, huh? (10.) It's worse than my family; (11.) That's what the Romans did; (12.) Watch out for rich people. • First things first, and we'll let you wear long pants. • First you have to put up with a little girl. • Fish tremble at the mention of my name. • Fits right in. • Fixated — It's called revolving around a hard place. • Fla-min-go! ... Like a flame in the sk-y-y ... Flying o-ver the is-land ... To my lover nearby. • Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee! • For a few years I haven't been able to read minds. • For after I'm dead. • For all YOU know. • For an emergency, I guess. • For anyone ... And the answer is? • For anything? • For emergencies. • For extra pleasure. • For fun! • For hundreds of years, for thousands of years! • For no reason at all. • For now. • For obvious reasons. • For real. • For some stupid reason. • For someone my age – Come on! – I'm a piker. • For spiritual reasons. • For sure. • For the holidays. • For what it's worth. • Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. • Force is of no value – It's the right touch. • Forget about the past — It wasn't your fault. • Forget it! ... Never buy anything secondhand! • Frankenstein's notebooks. • Free lessons! • Friday night would be good ... or Thursday night. • From beginning to end. • From birth. • From down on the barroom floor. • From midgets to giants. • From now on I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride. • From the middle of nowhere. • From the stars? • From your lips to God's ear. • From your point of view. • FuBuTuBe – "For us, By us, Teach us, Big earth!" • Funny that you're interested. • Funny what makes you happy – Wouldn't you rather be down at the Black Pussycat Café having a beer or something? • Funny you should notice. • Fuzakeru na! [Japanese: Stop your nonsense!]

G. Gather ye rosebuds while you may. • Gee, guys, you don't have much fun, do you? • Gee, I have trouble following rules, too, but I try to. • Get a dog — A dog won't care if you're an asshole. • Get a pitchfork. • Get a rocking chair — And then you can rock! • Get away! • Get 'em all with one blow! • Get malaria! • Get out of the way, hide ... That's right, hide! ... Vita umbrellis ... Life in the shade. • Get out of there! • Get some comic books to keep you up ... I have other difficulties. • Get some oatmeal. Leave bowls of oatmeal around the house until it smells like oatmeal. That will really make you feel good. Catharsis has nothing to do with reality. • Get someone richer, who will really torture you with their philosophy of life – Oprah, the genius, right? • Get way away from it. • Get your mother's cock out of your ass. • Get thee behind me, Diarrhea! • Get tough! • Gets to you, huh? • Gets you angry, huh? • Getting healthy. • Getting stomped! • Getting up there, guy! • Ghosts, Italian style. • Giraffes. • Girls are bad, too, but not in the same way. • Give me a break! • Give me a kiss! • Give me some slack. • Give other people a chance. • Give up! • Give yourself time. • Glad to see you grew out of it. • Glad to share. • Go ahead. • Go ahead and judge 'em! They don't care ... You might as well call a spade a spade, and an asshole an asshole. • Go back into your grave. • Go by what you know, not by what you feel. • Go check your tire pressure. • Go easy on yourself. • Go empty. • Go for broke! • Go for it! Go for the gold. • Go for it, man! Knock yourself out. • Go further. • Go over the top! • Go with it! • God is going to take care of the whole place. • God knows what else. • God smells you when you go to heaven, right? "Paranoid" is conscious — you're aware of it; "delusional" is unconscious — you're not aware of it. • Gone crazy, back soon! • Going on three. • Gone forever! • Gone! — Jokes are like that. • Good! • Good day to work on a roof. • Good enough. • Good! I'm behind you one hundred percent — Go for it! • Good. Most people don't. • Good things come to those who wait. • Good thinkin', Lincoln! • Good time for a vacation! • Good! Two for one! ... The beat goes on. • Good! What's wrong with that? • Got any cherry pie? That's the blood from my broken heart. • Grab every scrap of happiness you can. • Grace is something that calls on you — You can't create it. • Great expectations. • Grand Old Delusion bless America! • Great is the gate, narrow is the path. • Great news. • Great tragedy. • Green is worse than black ... It's not everyone who can get away with doing what they believe in. • Gritty. • Guilt! Dog guilt! ... Stop putting on airs. • Gurdjieff was just teaching people to be artists – This particular artist sends away for a five-dollar book on how to read minds.

H. H. • Had enough? Want to take a break? • Half of it dropped in the toilet. • Half of it is having a really nice life. • Hallelujah! • Hamlet's a really good play. [All you have to do is say anything obvious and they disappear.] • Hand me down my walking cane; I'm gonna leave on the morning train; my sins they have overtaken me. • Hands off! • Hang in there, right? • Hanging on to your money tight, huh? • Happy families are all alike. • Happy people are all alike – Unhappy people all have a different way to be unhappy. (From Leo Tolstoy) • Happy trails! • Hard times, huh? • Hard to find out, isn't it? • Hatching another plot. • Hate me, hate my dog! • Hate people all you want. • Haunted. • Have a bug! • Have a cookie! • Have a little compassion. • Have a potato. • Have it your way, Jack! • Have mercy! • Have no expectations. Accept the best. • Have some faith. • Have you ever felt this way before? • Have you ever heard the expression, "Fat, dumb and happy?" • Have you read, What Was That? by Al Zeimer? • Have you seen Alfred Hitchcock's 1943, Shadow of a Doubt? You should see it! • Have you seen Dracula yet? • Haven't I seen you before? • Having a good mind in this culture is a handicap. • Having a nice time is the only safe thing. • Having fun! • He did shoot his mouth off, and didn't care what he said. • He gets exuberant. • He had his wife in a tower because she was hopelessly insane. • He has a very strong undercurrent. • He may feel it's the only way to relate to you. • He must come from a very weird family. • He must have been drunk. • He talks that cool managerial lingo. • He was ahead of our times. • He who laughs last thinks slowest! • He would have bored another hole, but he sold the machine. • He's shaking with ideas. • He's the closest thing to a shark we've ever seen. • He's the quiet, mysterious kind. • He's too nice to be the Pope. • Heads up! • Heads you lose, tails you lose if you listen to other people. • Health before illness! • Heard all over the world. • Heartless creature. • Heckling has a lot to do with ticket prices ... There's just no way to know ... That's all they do, is lie ... No one needs it! ... They just trade one load of cabbage for another ... They're taught by assholes to be assholes ... A moment in the sun ... In the old days, at least, they had their own voice inside their head ... That's totally down the tubes ... It's just a throwback ... I don't mind that ... They always did that ... I forgot all my drunk, bald jokes ... I've lost so many! ... "In Shakespeare's day, audiences were expected to hurl insults, if not rotting fruit, at the actors onstage" ... a torrent of negativity ... cultural assassins ... lobster scoundrels! • Heinz 57. • Hello! Do you talk to cockatoos? • Helping people, or doing therapy, has nothing to do with school. • Here goes! • Here I am. • Here or there? • Hey! Don't snap! • Hey, I'm a Dartmouth man! — We're beyond all that. • Hey! I'm just driving you around – If you want my philosophy, you pay extra! – Write a good one. • Hey! That's not fair! • Hey, there! • Hey, we're not on a cruise ship. • Hey! You're a beautiful human being ... Get into love! ... That doesn't sound right ... What about the Pope? ... You and the Pope ... Let her get back to reality ... These midnight messages are spoiling her. • Highly recommended. • Hit the trail! • Hitch your wagon to a star. • Hitler is dead, how's that? • Hold everything! ... I have mixed feelings coming here today. • Hold it up a little higher, and don't pull it out all the way. • Hold this stick. • Holy shit! You're killing me. • Honor your mother and father; love your neighbor. • Hopefully there is no point — There's just a nice comfortable chair. • Hopeless and helpless, like a baby. • Hoping to right the wrongs of the world one day. • Horribly naive. • How about a raise? Don't you think I deserve it? I think I've been doing really good. • How about letting someone see gold in a stream every once in a while? • How about some poppycock? • How about the wipers? • How about those Giants? • How about you? — Did you wear a Freudian slip? • How are you doing, big guy? • How bad can you get? • How can it hurt? • How can you get out? • How can you understand the sorrow and the pity if you don't have any? • How chic – I'm going to call it the Fellini Room. • How could it hurt? • How could someone live a whole life and only know one thing? – Say no more! – I forbid you to talk about my property. • How could you tell me that? • How did I know you were going to say that? • How did it get to that point? – How many people hide their treasure in the outhouse pit? • How did Mae West put it? — If evil knocks, I'll try it. • How did THAT happen? • How do kids know what to do? You just have to go on record. • How do we know how much it's going to cost? • How do YOU feel when I tell YOU what to say? • How do you know? • How do you like it? • How do you like that? • How do you like that? — They're full of shit! • How do you protect your inner child? (1.) It is on the inside; (2.) It is on the inside and well-protected; (3.) Don't try to be good; (4.) Try to be efficient; (5.) Acting good is not protecting a child ... If someone's angry, or having a tantrum, say on the inside, —I hope you die, you gutter rat. • How do you say serious? • How do you think James Dean's father felt? • How do you think people feel when they die? You have to take care of yourself, right? • How does it feel to be the healthiest person in your family? • How easy it is to do things without doing anything. • How economical; how easy; how pleasant. • How elegant. • How else do you get people to do what you want? • How foolish ... We're expected to be superficial. • How good can a person be? • How, I don't know. • How little we know. • How long do you think that'll last? ... I know things about Jesus you'll never know ... There's nothing too advanced for children ... They're way ahead of us ... You may remember your birth. • How lucky can you get? • How many? • How many drips does it take to make a rainbow cry? • How many people get that kind of chance? • How many people just walk out? • How many single socks do they have in the world? • How more do you need? • How much can someone do? • How much can you remember? • How much will you pay me to leave you alone? • How or why I don't know. • How thieves and scoundrels are taking over the global economy. • How times have changed, huh? • How to pretend you don't have a brain. • How would I know? • How would you know? – What are you sure of? – Maybe years ago – Maybe even earlier – The idea is not quantity, it's quality – Quality and subtlety of attention is important – You have to develop an inner barometer to tell what your inner weather is – The reason is probably separation anxiety – Anger, hurt and jealousy over something are secondary – Come back from the mountain. • How's everything on your mountain? – Do you have any goats on your mountain? • Hundreds of things, if you can. • Hundreds of times – A little bit, a little bit, a little bit – And birds. And squirrels – I was thinking of a swan – So you have to have a tunnel – Keeps things from spiraling too fast. • Hunger is the best cook — Not a mother! • Hydrogen. • Hydrogen. You must be Helium.