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TOOLSET
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INFORMAL FALLACY
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—Not often.
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—Hardly ever.
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—EVERY TIME!
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Ambition —
Women who are very ambitious, and men who have latent homosexual
tendencies, frequently refer to certain people as "assholes."
They cannot see that people are different.
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NOTES TO MYSELF
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PSYCHOLOGICAL AGE
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CLASS
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[assassination]
- Their mouth, and what comes out of their mouth, is so ugly -
When you are born, you stumble into a culture. And sometimes you're
a little different.
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The Age of Attention,
ages 4-7
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Separation
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Exactly what someone said
[or did]
... usually not very original.
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•
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The thoughts of a
"bad child"
... to free your mind again.
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ATTACKS
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BRIDGE
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SILENT BACKUP
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"Honk if you have a small penis!" [From a
passing bicyclist]
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—EVERY TIME!
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—That's easy for YOU to say!
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"How did you land him? He doesn't look your type
at all."
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—Hardly ever.
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—Did I say you could breathe?
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"Can you ever calm down for just one second?"
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—Born to achieve.
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"Have a little respect for your elders, will you?"
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—You mean in 8000 BC?
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"Don't annoy your mother — She has heart
trouble."
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—EVERY TIME!
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—Everyone has trouble with authority figures.
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"By kissing up to great big assholes like you."
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—EVERY TIME!
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—This is the time to do it, I think.
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"Do you get AIDS from French kissing?"
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—Hardly ever.
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—That's what I remember.
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"Whatever you say."
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—Whatever it is, it's good.
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"Have you ever taken the wrong exit before?"
[From a passenger]
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—Hardly ever.
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—Very frustrating.
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"Straight arrow, huh?"
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—Not often.
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—Sometimes that happens.
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"You are so inconsiderate."
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—Hardly ever.
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—Once in a blue moon.
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"Whatever you think."
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—Not often.
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—Without even knowing it.
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"Mom's got you doing the dishes, huh?"
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—You do what you can and that's it.
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"You've got sawdust all over you."
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—Good!
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"Are you always this outspoken?"
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—Hardly ever.
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—That's a very big idea – I like it.
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"Fuck you, asshole!" [From a passing bicyclist]
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—Hardly ever.
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—Heads up!
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["Going out?" "No."] "Oh, racial profiling
... Asshole!" [You're through for the day, putting
your cab away, and they find that hard to accept]
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—Hardly ever.
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—It's better to wait – Well, whatever you say, you're wrong.
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"Hey, asshole! I'm talking to you, asshole."
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—EVERY TIME!
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—Where's it gonna get you, sweetie?
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"Come on, asshole!"
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—EVERY TIME!
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—There is such a thing as power madness.
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"Asshole!"
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—EVERY TIME!
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—Just for you, sweetie.
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"You shut up, ASSHOLE! Just shut up, ASSHOLE!
I don't want to talk to you, ASSHOLE!"
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—EVERY TIME!
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—It doesn't matter ... It's always in the dark ... Have
you been there?
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"You're an asshole!"
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—Not often.
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—Mr. Asshole, to you!
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"Hey, asshole!" [Wayward bicyclist]
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—No, no ... [Wagging the index finger of your left hand at them]
... Of course he's an asshole, but who isn't?
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"Hey asshole! You got to go back there!" [From
a wacky pedestrian]
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—EVERY TIME!
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—That's it, sweetie – Were you ever there?
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"Oh, boy! – What an asshole."
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—EVERY TIME!
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—And I thought you were the expert.
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"The same to you, asshole!"
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—EVERY TIME!
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—What's in it for you?
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"ASSHOLE!"
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—EVERY TIME!
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—And WORSE!
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"That's just your opinion, asshole!"
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—Hardly ever.
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—It's charmed.
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"You're such a doll!"
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—Not often.
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—I'm not an angel.
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"Aren't you a sweetheart?"
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—Not often.
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—Mean people can't stand it.
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"I'm with the clown."
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—Hardly ever.
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—The kindergarten is somewhere else.
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"Whatever."
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—Having a nice time is the only safe thing.
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"Thanks — You're an angel."
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—Doesn't hurt.
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—That's what makes the world go around.
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REFLECTIONS
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22-MAY-1999. It's useful to "institutionalize" people who use verbal violence
by pretending they are patients from a nearby mental hospital. For instance,
you can envision an assailant as A BULLY or A CRACKPOT, or, on this page, as
A BUSYBODY [up at the top]. By institutionalizing them, you
diminish their importance. As "therapist" you treat the "patient" with reason,
humor, understanding, and in some cases, outwardly directed anger. Personally,
I practice a philosophy I learned driving a taxicab in San Francisco: to communicate
honestly, to retaliate instantly, to forgive completely, and to broadcast a
clarity of intention. The whole idea is to get away with being yourself,
at all times and in all places. Let the world take care of itself.
An insult interrupts the flow of your life by reminding you of childhood misunderstandings,
though it's nothing compared to the pain in the other person. It's as if their
sewer has overflowed and they're inviting you to jump in by simply repeating
time-tested barbs containing double meanings, often delivered in an innocent
outer form, or "envelope," with a devastating inner content, or "bomb." It's
quite possible to reply in kind, except instead of delivering bombs, you can
provide the other person a little help in understanding their troubles, a strategy
which will make both your lives a little easier, since you are clearly in their
presence, and sometimes under their influence.
The way out is to NEVER allow an insult to bypass your intellect. For instance,
if someone suddenly cries out, "Asshole!" you can have a lot
of fun. Simply respond, "—What's in it for you?"
Of course at the same time you should realize as deeply as possible that for
the most part you are simply a decent human being.
19-NOV-1999.
What They See
Most people nurture their minds the way their
parents did.
If their parents abused their minds,
they abuse themselves.
If their parents indulged their minds,
they indulge themselves.
If their parents stupefied their minds,
they stupefy themselves.
What's inside everyone is their fate.
They never ask themselves,
is this expression of my mind good for me?
Many mental formations
are comfortable as old shoes,
but they're killing them.
19-AUG-2007.
As follows
CODE WORDS: angel,
annoy, arrow, asshole, clown, dishes, doll, elders, exit, honk, inconsiderate,
kissing, outspoken, profiling, sawdust, second, sweetheart, type, whatever
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XXIII
Circinus
"Pair of compasses"
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—Hardly
ever.
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