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TRICKS
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WINGS
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IDEAS
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"Did you like them?" [All the the Sufi books
by Idries Shah]
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—Pretty much.
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—A convoy.
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["I used to be a systems programmer at IBM."] "You don't
like that?"
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—Says who?
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—You don't want to be in an unwritten play with no form or words.
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"When does your flight leave?"
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—Too early!
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—Don't tell anyone my secret.
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"Do you remember what flight it is?"
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—Too early!
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—That's not something you have to worry about.
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"Is your worst half coming to the party?"
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—Says who?
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—It's unknown.
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"Do I look like I need to watch my weight?"
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—Too early!
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—No evidence.
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"I usually take 280."
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—Different times.
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—Without anyone knowing why.
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"You don't act like you like me."
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—Says who?
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—You lack understanding – When I was very young I felt no one
liked me, so I didn't learn to like people.
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"Staying out of trouble today?"
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—Too early!
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—Are you lucky!
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"Is this a new leaf, or are you in trouble?"
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—Different times.
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—Okay, boss!
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"Don't let it strangle you!"
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—Too early!
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—That's right! ... Keep your head up! ... Thanks for the
visual!
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"Don't get shot today."
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—Too early!
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—That's what retired is, right?
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"How much did you make today?"
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—Too early!
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—I haven't figured it out yet.
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"Today is not my day."
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—Says who?
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—The little star.
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"We had sex before, so what's the problem now?"
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—Different times.
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—It's not what you do that brings success, it's what you don't do.
[Also see, Peer Pressure]
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"I guess we can't go dancing!"
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—Says who?
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—The first step is to slow down.
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"Is this line open?"
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—Too early!
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—Diplomatic, huh?
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"Icarus, if you need my help, let me know. I will recommend other
girls for you. I know one chick who would probably be
suitable for you. Both of you would be a very compatible
match." [Pulls out a picture of a really fat girl]
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—Pretty much.
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[See Icarus
and the Gutter Snipe]
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"Why don't you take Kathy Jo, here – She'd
love to go?"
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—Too early!
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—Someone might.
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["Is it okay to call you Arthur?"] "No, it isn't."
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—Too early!
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—It's a wonderful opportunity for somebody.
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"And I suppose my work isn't as important as yours?"
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—Says who?
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—You're your own Walt Disney!
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"It's not nice to talk like that."
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—Says who?
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—It's pretty silly if you can get fresh.
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"Do you like it?" [The bitter tasting Chianti
with too much tannin]
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—Too early!
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—It's an acquired taste.
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"You don't like?"
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—Different times.
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—What good is it?
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«Dealing with mean people»
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—Pretty much.
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—It's attention better spent elsewhere.
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"Aren't you a stewardess? Isn't that just like
being a waitress in the sky?"
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—Pretty much.
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—It costs nothing to qualify.
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["Where are you from?"] "You sound like
Immigration."
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—Different times.
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—Whose cousin?
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"How come you didn't tell me this before?"
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—Too early!
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—So it's no one you know.
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"Why is this giving me difficulties?" [The
key stuck in the door lock]
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—Too early!
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—One little thing and it'll open the door.
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"We all have our difficulties."
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—Says who?
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— You always have energy ... You always have energy to do things
you like ... If you fix your attention on something, you don't get tired.
•
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"Calvin, why are we both failures?"
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—Says who?
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—Delmour Schwartz says, "Let your conscience be your bride."
... The world is a wedding!
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"Your dog is really messed-up."
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—Says who?
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—Not what we'd hoped ... You know, they're acute smellers.
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"Thanks. For a while there, I was afraid my career was in a stall
like yours."
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—Says who?
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—Do not pass Go.
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"I don't like you, okay?"
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—Too early!
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—Let's let it go. Let's wait.
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"Nothing's impossible."
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—Says who?
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—There's nothing to do, anyway.
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"Are you staying for dinner?" [You're hanging
out with friends, and you don't know what they're doing]
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—Too early!
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—If I get hungry, I'll eat.
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"You don't have a minute, huh?"
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—Says who?
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—I'd just like to see it.
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"You don't like the walnuts?"
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—Different times.
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—All those things.
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"Why does he look like that?" [Handicapped
child]
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—Too early!
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—Such a miracle.
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["What's happening, brother?"] "I ain't
yo' brother!" [White guy to a black guy]
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—Too early!
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—It's just something you have to learn.
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"I like you, you know."
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—Different times.
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—That's the best thing to do.
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"Now if you don't do that, what happens?"
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—Pretty much.
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—The same.
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"How many Savings & Loans can say that?"
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—Pretty much.
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—Wouldn't it be nice not to be rich? To just be a peasant digging
a ditch?
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"I call him dumb-ass; you know, term of endearment."
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—Different times.
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—It's just if you're nursing.
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"You'd like that a lot."
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—Pretty much.
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—I have my own rules.
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"You don't want her to grow up like Al, do you?"
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—Pretty much.
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—Still waters run deep.
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"Do you do it because you like it or because you
have to?"
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—Pretty much.
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—If you have the time.
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"Come on, Ridgey, you can walk!"
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—Too early!
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—In a lot of ways.
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"He's a rat!" [Spoken in a voice loud enough
for you to overhear]
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—Pretty much.
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—Getting healthy.
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"He looks like a rat."
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—Pretty much.
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—Hate me, hate my dog!
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"Oooo, Watch out! That's a terrible thing to say!"
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—Pretty much.
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—Totally insensitive.
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"I'm surprised you'd like a movie like
that."
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—Different times.
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—They're artists – We don't understand them.
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"It's true – all these misfits."
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—Says who?
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—Vox Clamantis In Deserto.
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"It's just like anything else."
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—Different times.
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—It's all jungle.
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"I don't like patients who are headed for trouble."
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—Pretty much.
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—If you let kids get into trouble, if they can get out of it, they
do real well.
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"Richard, you really are a rat, you know?"
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—Pretty much.
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—Yeah, a gutter snipe.
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"That's not like you."
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—Says who?
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—Misspent youth.
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"That's just like you."
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—Pretty much.
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—It's not like a car where you leave it off.
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"Do you like the opera?"
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—Different times.
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—If you can.
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"Do you like dinosaurs?"
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—Pretty much.
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—You don't?
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04-JUL-1999.
A cathedral symbolizes a person's body. When someone acts like they know what's
going on inside your mind and body, they are violating your cathedral. They
are simply guessing about your ideals, they have no idea what sweets and bitters
you really like, what experiences you have had, or what you wish, and they have
no business laying their hands on you. Especially when they are right, they
are wrong.
One of my dogs is a brindled Scottie named Paris who hangs out with me at Bette's
Oceanview Diner. Paris has long grey hair and if you don't look carefully, you
might mistake him for an otter. "Oh, my God!" some lady exclaimed this afternoon
as we pushed through a crowd of shoppers, "He looks like a rat!"
Actually, he does, and I didn't think anything of it until later, at the Point
Isabel dog park, when I happened to mention the incident to one of my close
friends. "Oooo, Watch out! That's a terrible thing to say!"
Alex said.
"So what did you say?" Alex said with a gleam in his eye. "Well, actually I
didn't say anything," I started to say. "You see, I had already walked past
her, and I couldn't quite tell if she had been describing me or Paris. Now if
she had been talking about Paris, ...."
25-FEB-2011.
