"Did you call me a nigger?" [Coming and standing right in your face]

—Of course not! ... Why are you saying this to me? ... I'm just a person ... There must be something else going on ... Holy Shit! ... I'm just trying to make trouble! ... Too bad it isn't true! ... Do it yourself! ... Why are you talking to me this way? ... I'm just a person ... No one's caught on yet! ... Stick to yourself – What else can you do?

[Overhearing something, which may or may not apply to you]

—Is it possible?

"Put that dog on a leash! Put that dog on a leash!"

—Are you trying to outshine Death?

"YOU KNOW THIS IS A SIDEWALK. YOU SHOULD CLEAR THE WAY."

—I like law and order, too.

"You're going to block the sidewalk, huh, asshole?"

—Here goes!

"Why don't you go jump in a lake?"

—A lot of dangerous men in the world.

"Do you want to see how I've become a cowboy?"

—This one has the ghetto stare.

"It's arriving Wednesday – You can vacuum on Thursday."

—In any event, I teach uses, not necessity ... Possibilities and uses, not necessity ... A while.

"Did you move your old vacuum cleaner?"

—That's evasive.

"I don't even have to ask, 'I could have had a V8!' I've got Richard Hart."

—Like a wizard! ... Someday you may be fortunate enough to smoke, too.

"So ... tell me what you don't like about yourself."

—I'll build you a roof that history avoided.

"Tell me your deepest personal problem – I'm filled with answers."

—You may have to move to Mars.

"Any thoughts as to why you're so unpopular?"

—In the blood!

"187 Miss Murphy!" [Graffiti meaning, "Kill Miss Murphy!"]

—Nobody can't sleep anymore.

"There he is ... It must be two o'clock."

—Don't tell me the end – I haven't seen it.

"You must have been audited by the IRS at one time."

—Limit your demands.

"Didn't they tell you to come down to the other door?"

—They're not too bright or capable and that's how they make a living ... They're like rats ... Maybe they have a Nish-Nish Department ("No! No!")

"What do you do when niggers come to your door and want to talk to you about Jesus?"

—We'll see ... Nothing fancy ... Just for the record.

"Me and my buddy were riding down the street one night and saw a fucking nigger hanging out on his bike, so I said to my buddy, 'Go ahead and hit him ... It's a fucking nigger!' and he did! Knocked him right off his bike. A policeman was watching and asked the fucking nigger, 'Are you all right?' and the fucking nigger said, 'Yeah,' and the cop told him to go on home."

—What an amazing story! ... There's always someone who's bad ... That's what's good! ... That's okay ... I don't believe in it.

"So you're a psychologist now?"

—Thank you for expressing your deeper emotions – Early prohibitions against showing anger are acting up on you – What are you afraid of when you're angry?

"Jews are dickless faggots."

—Why is it every morning I wake up I feel I'm in Archie & Veronica comic books?

"Did you brush your teeth?"

—I would say that's punishment enough, don't you?

"Don't tell ME you brushed your teeth!"

—Don't smell!

"Service has really suffered because of all these immigrants."

—Many, many people are rotten apples.

"I saw your web site and it was pretty good except for the milk carton."

—Don't fret if it doesn't float your boat! I'm just warming up.

"I saw a book at Border's you'd like a lot – It's called, Sex in the Ancient World."

—It's not that often.

"It was only two-dimensional."

—Hand me down my walking cane; I'm gonna leave on the morning train; my sins they have overtaken me.

"It looks terrible and amateurish."

—Very low.

"I am willing to help you – There are government agencies." [Having just insulted you and gone on about how rough their life has been]

—This is just more intense.

[Someone piling it on, telling you details and factoids you could do without] (Let them spout off their trivia and useless facts; this is a good time to memorize something; learn some things by heart; learn something and recite it; maybe it will improve your inner position)

—"Like a roof ill-thatched, rain gets into the mind; Like a roof well-thatched, rain cannot get into the mind." Excuse me, I'm memorizing something. [Let them scream their heads off; you're just learning something]

"Download some Microsoft clip art and use that."

—I would be nowhere without him, and I am anyway.

"Tell me what you don't know."

—I'm not qualified – Talk to a therapist.

"Tell David not to wait for me."

—For anything?

"If you see Kevin, tell him I'll be there about ten."

—Oh, yeah! That's really royal.

"Richard! If you see Yurek, tell him we need a new set of locks on."

—When I have all the time in the world.

"You're going to see Assad today or tomorrow?"

—I'm not in a hurry.

"I'll give you three dollars to give to him."

—If I ever need more, I'll let you know.

"She has dated many guys before. She never disagrees going out with guys. She is basically an easy target."

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"Oh, you struck out."

—How do you say serious?

"You need to go get a urine drug screening test today."

—Whoops! Wrong religion.

"The youngsters should 'gang up for a while' on Tiger ..." (–Nick Faldo) ... "Lynch him in a back alley." (–Kelly Tilghman)

—Well, there's a lot to learn.

"It must be a Christian who owns this place – See that?" ["John 3:16" printed on the bottom of a paper cup]

—Whatever they are, I think they're just earning a living, myself.

"I'm not prejudiced, but you know how the Jews live in enclaves?"

—That's good to know that.

"In this country, all the mainstream media and newspapers are run by the Jews."

—I would check that out.

"I'll tell you what it is – All the mainstream media are owned and controlled by the Jews."

—You're on the road to oblivion – You're naked on a treadmill with a light bulb up your ass.

"I've got Jews at my table."

—You could get a job as a waiter.

"Jews and Muslims who don't accept Jesus will burn in hell."

—Take me with you!

"I guess Lance sent a message to the frogs."

—They have a lot of pain.

"Nigger lover."

—Do I have a place to put them?

"Don't call us – We'll call you."

—Who says you can't?

"Could you remind me what you asked me to do?"

—Never save until tomorrow what you can do today.

"Remind me to call him later."

—You have to keep a list.

"Don't forget to remind me about winglings."

—You better start making a list!

"Don't let me forget to call him."

—Do it before the fall!

"Is it for one culture, or for many cultures?" [This website]

—Extremely human.

"The craziest website I've ever seen can be found here: taxi1010.com ... I dare you to go poke around for 5 minutes and then report your learnings / discoveries. Make sure and click around a bit!" [Link from modern-radio.com]

—Martial arts shows you a box ... but it doesn't tell you how to get outside of the box!

"We have to remember that his ancestors were the Vikings who raped and pillaged."

—Oh, I didn't know that ... Did you read that in a book?

"I am wondering who your intended audience is."

—For after I'm dead.

["I heard your laugh from around the corner."] "My cackle?"

—A snow princess.

"And when I put the knife back down, it was bent; it hadn't been bent before – It was telekinesis."

—She just has gold glued to her fingertips – It's those spells!

"People say the glass is half full, but they don't say of what."

—Because it's cheap.

"You're so relaxed, not a care in the world."

—People should take it easy, and have a good life, Jesus said.

"Don't make those faces, because your face might freeze that way."

—Well, I don't know much about that world.

"Don't make nasty faces! It'll get cold and freeze that way."

—It amuses me, endlessly.

"Don't make faces! It'll freeze that way."

—There's nothing left to go wrong.

"You're a Vassar girl."

—How lucky can you get?

"That's bad karma."

—You can make your own karma if you're smart.

"You've got great karma."

—It's funny how the harder you work, the luckier you get.

"Did you study under anybody?"

—That's how they train dogs.

"You've got to use psychology."

—With flashlights, right?