Hi Richard,

I felt frightened, embarrassed, confused, apprehensive, but still empowered recently when I encountered someone who said "To Jim R. Have you considered medication?" I responded with "—As If," and reported the incident to the editorial staff at the online newspaper I had written some commentary for.

I say frightened because the subject is the "asbestos factory" Federal Building where I used to work. When I wrote in about it being a "sick" (as in, it causes illness such as respiratory problems), someone wrote back and included the comments I gave above.

It appears that the editors took matters in hand immediately and deleted the statement about medication from that individual's commentary. Getting back to being frightened, I thought immediately that it was a person that I used to work with ... and so did my wife and daughter when I told them.

"—As If" seems to have worked as a non-escalating two-word response. Now I am faced with « responding / not responding » to someone else who may not like my use of quotation marks. "I" "really" "don't understand you" "half of the time" is their statement following my last contribution. So, I am confused, is the person trying to tell me not to use so many quotation marks? Or, are they using quotation marks excessively? Can you help me on these concerns please? By the way, anyone who is interested can follow the dialogue at www.buffalorising.com, click on "city" and go to the discussion about the Federal building.

Thanks,
–Jim

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Hi Jim,

My connection is too slow to follow anything over at www.buffalorising.com. I gave it sixty seconds. I would try to be very old-fashioned about online "forums," say, by going back to the attitudes of the 1920s: Those were the days when people were smart enough not to say anything.

When you recognize two possible interpretations in the way someone expressed themselves, go for the worse one, whether they "meant it" or "not." They just like to attack people with interesting things.

I've been pouring a lot of energy into a new web page this last ten days, and intend to add a link to your website tonight. It's over at TheBlackPool.com "Ad-free Website Directory." Your site doesn't have ads, right?

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard,

I felt quite embarrassed tonight when a student kept repeating, "$15? ... $15?" Students who wished to purchase a DVD of the Tai Chi movements had read and signed a form that included, "The cost of the DVD is $15." Another student was there, and I was getting quite embarrassed, but on the second "$15?" said, "Oh, yeah," in a quiet voice and immediately followed it with an emphatic, "It goes to pay for my food and gasoline." The other student nodded her head at that. He read the form, he signed the form 2 weeks ago, but tonight, he then said, "I have to go to the bank." I felt like saying, "No shit!" because now he wanted sympathy, but I handed him the DVD and said, "Pay me at next time." No student has stiffed me in 11 years there, but I can just imagine.

In the first class I said, "Don't hold your shoulders in a tense manner, the way they taught me in the Marines." No one in the class said anything except this guy who came up after class and said, "You were in the Marines?" I said, "As if?" and followed it with, "I was a seagoing bellhop." That apparently did not register with him because he continued without batting an eye, "I was wounded here, I was wounded there," to which I quickly said, "Ouch! ... What does your Doctor say about it?" He ignored that and continued with a story about Vietnam. I eventually went home ....

Then tonight, he said, "Here is my email address, [something, something with a number] ... That is my call sign and that is the number of my helicopter." By this time all I could mutter is a weak ... "Oh" ... I eventually went home.

Now I think he reminds me of someone that worked at the "asbestos factory" [where I used to work] who would tell you every day that he was in Vietnam. Yep, every day. The funny thing is the confusion that comes with dealing with those statements, because in both cases both of those guys seem to take great pleasure in embarrassing anyone they talk to, but somehow you shouldn't mind, because 1.) they are only kidding, 2.) you should be able to take a joke and 3.) they were in Vietnam. Oh, and did I say, he had a collection of pictures of ears that he would show frequently, and also said, "If someone pulls a gun on me, I'm so fast I can be across the room to put my finger in the end of the barrel so it won't fire?" "No shit? ... I'd kick in a quarter to see that ... Can you do it now?"

–Jim

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Hi Jim,

Lots of people bought a bad act, delivering lines that leave you high and dry, no? I think it's really funny you said, "I was a seagoing bellhop," and intend to steal it for the taxi1010.com database.

Let's look at this entire situation from (1.) the General Manager's point of view, (2.) the Floor Manager's point of view, and (3.) the Night Manager's point of view.

In initial conversations with a random person from the public, (1.) the General Manager (inside yourself) might have an aspiration to "Put your attention on wanting that person to have a better life," handing this decree to (2.) the Floor Manager (inside yourself).

Well, for some reason, things get awfully tricky awfully fast (from the Floor Manager's point of view). One person is saying, "$15? ... $15?" another person is saying, "You were in the Marines?" and the memory of another person is saying something like, "If some guy pulls a gun on me, I can put my finger in the barrel quicker than he can pull the trigger!"

It's very mysterious. With some people you can go on and on talking about anything and everything, to your mutual delight. You're giving each other gifts, brought to the surface by insight, grace and intelligence.

With other people you get the vague idea they're totally ignoring your side of things with their "gifts." You begin to ask yourself, "Should I?" "Would I like that?" "Why are they saying that?" in a sincere effort to have a life you believe in, not a life someone else tells you to have.

It all depends on what someone gives you. What if they're giving you a hard time, or something you don't like? I love the idea of doing nothing, fading to nothing, and eventually going home! Then on the way back, the Floor Manager (inside yourself) can divide the general problem of being left high and dry into two worlds: The world of your experiences, (which they know little about), and the world of their experiences, (which for the moment, don't draw you out).

The Floor Manager might be very interested in the following Verbal Tools for responding to less-than-helpful comments relating to your life: —Could be, —Very believable, and —Much worse!

The Floor Manager might like these tools for responding to poorly worked out comments about their life: —Oh, great! —At least, —Not alone.

Upon going home, (3.) the Night Manager (inside yourself) might learn a lot by restocking inventory on a regular basis, creating lists of ongoing interactions that leave you high and dry.

For my own part, I'm trying to arrange things in Verbal Tools Contents so these things are easier to grasp and teach, as opposed to what's in taxi1010.com, which is for developing the basic database and fleshing out ingenious codewords from particular verbal attacks.

For instance, look up the codeword, "[prices]", in brackets, which takes you to stargate12, I believe. Then over there at Verbal Tools Contents, check out 14. Reaching Out, (page 066) and 61. The Mathematician (page 301). Don't bother going into the meat of Verbal Tools, because, for now, I'm simply letting life help me associate the most useful Table of Contents!

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard,

I've been wondering about the rude "social skills" called the "brush off" and "beating around the bush" lately.

The reason is, I think I have been subject to both of them, but I'm just not sure. I decided that I would like to teach the Tai Chi at a couple of Karate Schools and contacted them.

In one case the person said, "I'll call you back" and never did. In another, the person e-mailed me back and said: "Hey Big Jim, I am interested in speaking with you and am right in the middle of something. I WILL get back to you and we can have a sit down. This is weird ... I just mentioned your name to someone about a month ago!"

Of course, I have not heard further from either party. Now in both cases I feel confused and hurt but also I feel as though they are saying "you should take a hint." Could you help me with this, please?

Thanks, Jim

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Hi Jim,

People operate from different levels inside themselves, most of it unconscious. One level, which you could see associated with sensations, or emotions from the chest, has to do with dog-eat-dog commerce. —Are you going to help them make any money? they ask, without much warmth, cutting themselves off from other aspects of themselves. This is "the brush off," in which they're literally forgetting their own lives, pretending so hard to be "good, special, right, and important" that they're actually the opposite.

Another level, which you could see associated with sensations, or appetites arising from the belly, has to do with unlocking the "glass key of friendship," which if you don't turn hard enough, doesn't open, and which if you turn too hard, breaks. Here people regress, as with childhood friends, go drinking or to ball games together, and easily forget, cutting themselves off from careless promises. This is "the beating around the bush," in which they're forgetting they're in any way responsible for their own lives.

A third level, associated with intuition, or a sensation between the eyes, has to do with consciousness, or "bringing it all together." Here's the idea: Do you want to identify with feelings inside yourself which are reactions to other people, or do you want to identify with other people? Understanding is the gate, waiting to see what happens is the lock, and patience is the key.

Personally, I think you're better off not being associated with those Karate Schools, anyway. It's better to fail utterly in an earnest attempt to be on your own, "outside the box," than to be the slave of "boxers."

Check out our new motto at the top of taxi1010 - Street Smarts!

P.S., There's a restaurant I like where the people like me, and I like the people, where I used to leave off a stack of business cards. They went like hotcakes! Only later did I learn, through a careful and direct question, that they were carefully removing my "VerbalTools.com" business cards right after I'd gone, with my big tip!

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard!

I felt a little bit of adrenaline today but I quenched it by sensing my breath and saying the word "thought," "thought," "thought." I had found myself under personal (ad hominem and abusive ad hominem) attack from doing my job as both moderator and student in my discussion group. I had made the point that someone (no names just the word someone) was insisting on talking about subjects that had no bearing on what the discussion group was about.

I had by means of discussion stated that going in that direction would be counterproductive for students' progress. A student (who was The student) wrote in and started in on a series of personal attacks that in so many words centered around use of the word, "you," "You" said this, "Your perceptions are incorrect" and so on. He might as well have said, "You started WW II," because he did not address any of the assertions I raised in my discussion. "You have made many unfair assertions," "You have made many untrue assertions," "You accused me of having a bad signature," "Have I committed a crime?" and that was repeated 4 times at different intervals. "Your comments made me raise my eyebrows," "You do realize that some of us have better things to do," "Your perception of things is not quite correct."

I rewrote the letter as a reply and inserted spaces after each of the paragraphs where he had used the word You followed by a personal attack, and after "Have I committed a crime?" After each of those paragraphs I inserted the word "ouch." At the end of the reply, I wrote a last "ouch" and said "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Thank you so much for answering my request for a bridge and "thoughts of a bad child." I did exactly as you had stated and I believe I know "what happened when I was talking to someone." [Down below, 12 April 2005] It came to me in one of those half-awake, half-asleep moments on rising. I had been talking to another kid in a play area and a kid from another block came up behind me, shoved me full strength into a wire fence. Of course, what reason could one give for doing something like that? I couldn't break my fall, so my face – namely, upper lip – took the whole brunt of the shove/fall. My upper lip is mangled to this day. I didn't know how to explain it to my parents because I was a kid, and so I told them I did it playing football. So, yes, someone coming up behind me and touching me bothers quite a bit. Thank you for the insight, suggestions and empathy. –Jim

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Hi Jim!

When people start ranting, I don't think there's much you can do about it, except get back to yourself. Find a good book. Enjoy yourself. I can respond to all those attacks without much trouble, though the responses are for my benefit, not theirs. I wouldn't try to communicate to that student at all, because they're in way too much pain – buried and overrun by energy, to a point they can't even feel, or even know about – and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Saying OUCH! is good, and once is enough.

Then hide! Take a little vacation inside yourself. Go to Mexico! I think you hit it on the button when you realized they were repeatedly and identically attacking some unidentified "thought" in the forum (Not you! They can't even see you!), simply varying their words, so just for the fun of it, I'm putting every single one of those attacks at stargate01.htm, right at the very beginning of taxi1010.com, if there's such as a thing as a beginning, if there's such a thing as a stargate.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard!

Could you please give me some suggestions for Bridges and "thoughts of a bad child" when one is being insulted physically. I'm speaking of jabs, pokes, prods, bumps, pushes, leans, assists, hot breath on your neck, lightly touching and I don't think I can exhaust the list.

I recently got immediately angry (no adrenaline rush) when someone jabbed my arm with their finger. She said "GIMMEEEEE A PENCIL." I was in line at the Credit Union, TALKING to the cashier and telling her how much each check should be that I have to send to the "Taxman."

I barely turned my head and said, "Going up?" The "human" that was standing there stood vacantly staring at the pencil that the Credit Union Manager had kindly given her. Oh, did I mention her jaw was hanging loosely ... ?

I'm afraid I couldn't resist the "thoughts of a bad child" that I had when I got outside. As I was starting my car, she walked by. I rolled the window and said: "Hey, next time, jab YOURSELF in the ASS, and you'll get the pencil faster." Again, the jaw dropped ... as I slowly drove away.

I know I shouldn't make things up but I have been thinking about this physical aspect for some time, and what I said kind of spilled out. Can you help me with this? Thank you. –Jim

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Dear Jim:

I am really proud of you! Probably all your efforts in Tai Chi, in teaching Tai Chi, in Non-escalating Verbal Self-defense, and in teaching Non-escalating Verbal Self-defense have been revolving about a memory you don't even know you have. When you say, "what I said kind of spilled out," that's the real you! That's IT! Something happened to you as a child, maybe in kindergarten, maybe at a friend's house, or at someone's birthday party ... and you buried it, because you thought you had done something bad.

Because it's buried in you, and you don't even know about the memory, another part of you is using an enormous amount of energy to "keep the lid on." It's keeping the memory buried in your tissues. You don't have to keep the lid on now. Ask yourself, just before you go to sleep at night, "What happened when I was talking to somebody?" Say to yourself, "You're not bad. I know a lot of things now. I can say, "BACK OFF!" I can lie in wait and scream, "Yeah, yeah ... THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!" I know how to defend myself physically and mentally. I am your friend ... What happened when I was talking to somebody?"

If you make contact with that part of you, the memory might seem like a white memory, yet you'll begin to see what you've kept hidden. You might be very surprised what you discover ... what you didn't have the understanding to deal with then. You were just a little kid.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard!

I'm not sure if IT falls under the subject of feedback or IT falls under the category of humor but here goes:

I submitted this to a "Discussion Group" of which I am the moderator. Someone had said they "received a correction" on a Tai Chi movement and I asked what the name of the movement was. They said, "parting hands," to which I responded I was not familiar with that name and went through a list of things I thought it might be. I also said, "I don't see the name 'parting hands' on any major list of Tai Chi movements." Their response was: "Just try to see IT" ...

(This is meant as humor and since IT seemed to be a "sore subject" with someone, I never asked him what IT was). The use of the word IT borders on the mystical which is also one of way of looking at IT.

Another way to realize things is to realize the best way to read "IT" is simply to read "it."

(True Story) I once had a Tai Chi teacher, I'll call him the "General." After every movement I would do, he would say "you don't get IT." Sometimes I'd visit his office at the University where I would take classes, he'd light a cigarette, lean back in his chair, and with a bored expression on his face say, "OK, show me IT." Then I'd begin the form, which as I recall was either Chen or Yang Style depending on his mood, and as I'd raise my hands, he'd interrupt and say, "You just don't get IT." He'd also take great pains during conversation to point out in no uncertain terms things like, "You know Jim, you talk a good game, but É you just don't get IT."

I had the opportunity on one occasion to talk about Tai Chi to a group of Physicians, Nurses, Psychologists and Social Workers at the local VA Hospital. Then the object was to start a class, which I did. I had been asked by a friend of mine and fellow Tai Chi student (who was a Psychologist) to talk at the Hospital. The Hospital was interested in Tai Chi as a therapy method for Veterans who suffered from P.T.S.D., or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I mentioned this to the General, and he hurriedly lit a cigarette and said, "What are YOU going to say, maybe I should do IT."

Well anyway, I ended up doing IT and he didn't mention IT the next time we met. I've never forgotten IT, although I have always wondered what IT was, that prompted him to not ask me about IT. To this day, and to my last breath, I figure I'll never know what IT is. I have him to thank however, because I have grown because of IT. I don't know if my Tai Chi would be better and if he still might not say, "You still don't have IT." I often wanted to ask him, "Will IT ever get easier?" Kind of like that old TV episode of Leave it to Beaver where the "Beav" (What a name to be saddled with) asks his Father: "Dad, does IT ever get easier?" Maybe he should have asked, "Say, Dad, the name Beaver, where did I get IT?" Oh I forgot, The General did mention IT, he asked "Did they pay you for IT?" "Why do you ask me about IT?" I wanted to ask but never did, I wanted to ask things like, "Is IT against the law to accept money for IT?" "Did YOU ever get paid for doing IT?" "But don't you think I had to do IT because a friend asked me a favor?" Then I wanted to say all in a rush and let him sort IT out: "Well I did IT," "Even though they didn't get IT," "I loved doing IT." Then to finish I'd say: "I know, take IT out on me, I can take IT," coupled with "But to tell you the truth you Mon General, I've had IT up to here." After all that though, I'd still be afraid he'd say: "JUST LEARN (substitute any word for learn) IT." Like I say I have grown and NOW I'd say: "EVERYTHING ELSE" in response, and I'd gently close the door to his office as I left.

–Jim

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Hi Buffalo Jim!

There's an idea in mysticism that you don't have to find IT; IT will find you.

People who talk a lot are sometimes accused of "throwing pearls before swine," or "throwing pearls of wisdom out on the sidewalk," as opposed to keeping your mouth shut, absorbing a slight amount of nourishment, and allowing something inside you to grow.

So, let's say you're around the General ... Quiet your mind, listen attentively, and notice your breathing. Sense your genitals, or your hand, and hold your breath. Then say to yourself, "I wish ... to live!" Then wait for something inside to answer.

Gurdjieff used to say, "Breath is everything," and would show his students, by way of example, how to "breathe in without breathing out." It's just something you notice. Gurdjieff is dead now. All these ways, Tao, Tai Chi, Buddhism, the fourth way, are husks, or forms. My own teacher, David Daniels, says, "Religion is just a form – Over the years many diverse peoples have made many diverse ways for many diverse minds."

Your ingenious way of slowing down is to have quiet meetings with the General, then write on the Internet, sharing real experiences with others, and sensing yourself.

"Turn everything upside down and you will see the truth," Ouspensky used to say, repeating Gurdjieff. It's funny. If you look down at your own body, you can see your genitals at the top of your field of vision. With your right leg and right arm on one side, your left leg and left arm on the other, you can also see a triangle formed by your genitals at the top, with your two nipples at the base. Okay, so look at a picture of the Enneagram. And turn it upside down. Get it?

Ciao,
-Richard.

heyy,there is this girl at school she is bugging me,everytime i walk by her at school she calls me a fat whore and im not even fat i need a really good come back to say to her bcuz i am really not that good with them so if u have ideas email me a odjunkie@####.com

–odjunkie

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Hi, everytime-i-walk-by!

"The self should use alternatives that transcend those of the other, rather than confirming the anticipations of the other who intends to escalate the conflict." –Dr. Key Sun.

My favorite strategy is to replace intense, sometimes vague or confusing, preverbal feelings with words. So instead of feeling devastated, for instance, you can casually respond to the other person by saying the words, "It's devastating."

By saying those words, you're communicating a certain transcendent truth, which is that you actually aren't devastated ... You're a live person, who only gets tense when you're around that other person, or when you're thinking about them ... That's what they really want you to do, is think about them all the time, or a lot. So ... let's teach them how to become a fat whore!

After saying, "It's devastating," you cryptically add ... "You have to do it when it's wet." .... as if you're giving them an initiation.

If they say, "Whaaaaa?" simply repeat the advice ... "You have to do it when it's wet."

They say, "Fat whore!" ... Then you pretend you're Mae West, and say, "It's devastating."

They say, "Fat whore!" ... Then you pretend you're Drew Barrymore, and say, "You have to do it when it's wet."

In this way, the other person can learn how to become ... a fat whore, though I would never tell them that directly, that that's the advice you're giving them. Just say, "It's devastating," or "KEEP GOING!" or "It's all in your mind," or "I just made twenty dollars!" or "David Daniels was so funny his beard tickled his nose."

Just between you and me, you've got a lot of friends ... all over the world.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard!

I'd like to pass along a compliment from a "high-flying college professor who is down to earth." Dr. Key Sun of Central Washington University passed along a nice compliment about taxi1010.com to me. I had communicated to Dr. Sun via email and he passed on the compliment. The subject of concern was a request of mine to quote and reprint a couple of his articles. The articles are concerned with the Asian Philosophy of Taoism and Conflict Resolution and How to Overcome Without Fighting. Dr. Sun is also involved with Chinese Healing Disciplines such as Tai Chi. I have built a family website for photos of my family and told Dr. Sun about another website that I have planned to build. The website concerns itself with bridging the philosophy of Tai Chi and "real life conflicts." He gave me permission to use any part or all of the articles on my website.

You can read the articles at:

Win Without Fighting: The Tao of Conflict Resolution and Mental Health, by Key Sun (Evergreen Monthly, June 1998)

How to Overcome without Fighting: An Introduction to The Taoist Approach to Conflict Resolution by Key Sun, Department of Law and Justice, Central Washington University (First published in the Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology, Vol. 15(2), 161-171, 1995. © 1995 American Psychological Association)

Dr. Sun said: "PS. I like the www.taxi1010.com site. It is very thoughtful and unique!"

–Jim

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Hi, Jim, Thanks a million!

In my own shorthand, Dr. Sun's articles describe, Tao = alternatives, Te = understanding. You can only get understanding by being exposed to alternatives, or choices. People have interactions with (1.) Nature, (2.) other people, and (3.) cover-ups of hidden memories, inside ourselves. We're all seeking harmony with others, harmony with Nature, and in regards to harmony with ourselves, Yin = force that justifies an action (ideals, wishes, instincts); Yang = self-attack, derived from emotional workarounds of invisible memories, or memories we don't even know exist, maybe the true extent of pain we felt, as a child, at the loss of a dog, or the fear we felt when we found something unexpected as a child, or the emotional castration we suffered from the actions of an imbecilic, aggressive parent, all of which we buried and totally forgot.

Finally, Sun Tzu's The Art of War suggests you can "make a move that invalidates the aggressor's expectations."

There are two ways to look at things: You can see (1.) the overview, and you can see (2.) the floor manager's point of view.

Dr. Sun concludes Win Without Fighting with, "It is easy to learn Taoist psychology if you just remember 'A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.' (Lao Tzu, Chapter 64)" This is clearly the floor manager's point of view.

In How to Overcome Without Fighting, Dr. Sun connects deep Eastern philosophical truths with modern culture, and expresses the ideas of Taoism in powerful ways. These ideas, ideals, and suggestions are part of the overview.

Reading, or hearing about, certain aspects of an overview, can lead to severe misunderstandings. For instance, let's say someone is being aggressive, and you decide to "counter" that aggression by maintaining an outward calm, supported by an inner peace. Or put another way, you're going to try to act like water.

Trying to act like water, with suppleness, and all those "good" thoughts, is entirely different from knowing exactly what you could say to the other person if you chose to, and keeping your mouth shut. This is pretty much the Way of the Bad Child, which is not even hinted at in Taoist philosophy.

The Way of the Bad Child begins from the floor manager's point of view, and if the floor manager knows what he's doing, pulls along the overview pretty much by accident.

Then if you're lucky, you find out what's really bothering you, from something you buried as a child, becoming totally invisible to you. Going back to those memories, unlocking them is not so easy, because your entire emotional system crystallized in such a way as to cover them up. With cracks. Spiritual development begins with finding those cracks, and filling them with gold.

Ultimately, your relation with the hidden world of enlightenment, beneath your own emotional system, may have very much to do with your ability to step aside, then make contact once again, with everything you could perceive, and even do, as an infant, then buried, though this time through the eyes of an adult, standing by the side of reason.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard!

Nasty weather which in the case of snow and ice means anything over an inch brings out the bully in quite a few people. In Buffalo you think it would go without saying to drive carefully because we see our share of it each year. My wife and I were petrified (adrenaline level at emergency levels) to see a school bus come up from our rear and almost side swipe our car to get past. The scenario however wasn't good to begin with since the roads were slick with over 4 inches of fresh snow, an ice and snow bank to my right which had closed off the right lane, leaving only one (the one I was in), lots of traffic and this "bus driver" beeping her horn and barreling past because I had slowed down to merge. I thought of "Ever hopeful" as she passed me hoping she would be apologetic and look over chagrined. She was staring straight ahead as though intent on creating further mayhem. My wife said, "Bus 155, 838-9000, We Care Transportation."

I called when I dropped my wife off at work. The nice gentleman who answered said he was extremely sorry for what happened and "You did the right thing by calling, Sir." I said "Ever hopeful" and he chuckled. He said, "We send someone out to follow buses when we get complaints of this nature." I said, "Thank You." It's funny because before it happened I had been talking about the stress level of people in general. I had said to my wife however that I was learning with each Tai Chi class to say "Ever hopeful." I see the overall stress level reflected in the way my beginning students hold their bodies, the tension in the back, especially in the shoulders ... frozen. I was telling my wife that at least we can each do a little bit to improve things by making "small gestures" toward other people toward having a nice life for ourselves. I try to do my share each week by seeing my Tai Chi instruction as that "drop of fresh water in the ocean that can make a difference someday." I continued that whether they "get it" is not the point, but the point is "some small part of them (the Yin in the Yang of things) that our small gestures reach."

We had been talking about stress because I was shocked (mildly surprised) but the adrenaline rush must have fooled me when I heard one of the neighbors say: "Does this ever end?" I knew he was referring to the amount of snow we had been getting, but I was so shocked that any one of the neighbors would actually speak without saying something truly nasty that I didn't know what to say other than: "Hi," he replied "How are you?" I said fine, but we were both there and silent 5 minutes later and I said "Ever hopeful" in a cheery tone. He grumbled and said, "Yeah, but I was still shoveling at midnight after I got off of work." Again I was shocked (I'm allowing myself to be tricked) and did not know what to say other than to smile, which I'm sure he saw a little of from across the street, end of story. Later however, I did think that "Ouch" might have been appropriate. I did however get to use "So much" 6 times from twice opening the door at the coffee shop with no "Thank you" from anyone and 4 times on the road as I let people in ahead of me at driveways near red lights, since they did not wave, I said, "So much!" I did not feel adrenaline rushes before or after each of the 2-word responses. It does seem funny in retrospect that even the seemingly most innocuous of conversation from a neighbor could freeze us but it seems to happen a lot, unless we can use some sort of simple 2-word response that "nails it." That, in contrast to how it "tricks us" and the adrenaline rush that happens when someone says something truly bombastic, "as if" our adrenaline rush is well deserved ... Ha. My idea is that the more I return to this website, the more I understand YOUR ideas. My idea is telling anyone who "surfs in" here that their belief (self-efficacy) that someone (you) cares enough to help them is what got them here. They solidify those self efficacious beliefs by coming back again and again and again. I'm telling my Tai Chi students the same thing and repeating it when they take a "glass half empty approach" toward learning. My idea is that "persistence" is the glue that holds down those "beliefs." I'm sending a little money, thank you for the good service.

–Jim

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Hi Jim!

You sent three feedback forms, and frankly, I'm only going to include the one above. I'm kind of busy with other things, and I'm not, as you suggested in the other two, "someone who's teaching people to fish." I am a cab driver and know very little about fishing, though I like boats.

A friend of mine has a five-year-old girl, and I've watched when adults talk about her, then to her, in her presence. The adults intermingle truth, gossip, fantasy, and bizarre sermons in almost random ways, at times leaving Estrella speechless, drinking it all in.

Not harmful in its own right, it's just what's going on.

So it occurs to me, that's what neighbors are doing, too!

Now, I'm actually working on two distinct projects: The first, essentially complete, is research on "a minimal number of responses" to flesh out rhetorical bottlenecks, that is, to elucidate their hidden meaning, and add enough warmth, humor and understanding to bluster through them enough to regain my humanity. It's called, "making mistakes in the process of learning without alienating too many people." My teacher calls it "making the preverbal part of you conscious" by replacing vague, unspoken fears with words. When you use certain two-word responses, they replace little shots of adrenaline, and eventually lead you backward in your own life to the underlying memories you "buried, completely forgot, and replaced with tensions" you now carry as an adult.

I think you call "struggling to keep the lid on," stress.

My second project, in its infancy, is presenting taxi1010.com in a completely different light, suitable for teaching. You can see it taking shape in VerbalTools.com Contents, with ongoing changes in red.

There's a particular line I'd like you to see there, entitled "33. Corner Thugs," presumably beginning at page 161.

The responses listed on that line are "Crazy, huh?" "I'll bet," "Very strict," and "There's hope."

Notice how they can be used with neighbors uttering truth, rumors, fantasy, and advice: The second they say something true, you can say, "Crazy, huh?" as sort of an affable confirmation.

When they shift to a rumor, or to a fantasy (often difficult to spot, because people blend it in so skillfully), you can sort of pull back into your tortoise shell, then drily say, "I'll bet."

The next thing apt to pop out of their mouth will be some sort of cock-eyed advice, often delivered as a "hint," to which you can admonish all concerned with, "Very strict."

And the catchall, or escape, from all other neighborhood utterances might well be, "There's hope."

Now Estrella, on the other hand, is just a five-year-old little girl! "How did you get to be so pretty?"

—Crazy, huh?

"She's going to be starting a new school next fall, with all the big kids!"

—I'll bet.

"I like the way she plays with her doll."

—Very strict.

"Are you going to put her in the dollhouse when we go?"

—There's hope.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard:

I decided to live the dreams as well as dreaming the life and did something about it. My dreams one early half-awake morning were of a symbol, long forgotten now but I remember that it equated to making myself more accessible to people. With that however comes a price, you get mail in the bulk mail box that maybe you shouldn't open. I made a website for family and friends to visit in order to view family photos, sign a guestbook and keep in touch with one another. I had to reset my spam settings for one day in order to get the first message back that someone had signed the guestbook. I got a message in the bulk mail that said: "(my name).net, is yours right?" When I saw this, I was immediately intimidated and deleted the message without opening it. Then, I became chagrined because I thought of you and said to myself: "Jim, you are an ostrich for putting your head in the sand, Richard might have opened it and responded back to the person with a two word bridge." Now I'm thinking this is a conundrum and it has me puzzled but perhaps truly being puzzled is not a bad place to be. I find myself also saying to myself that "it may be the price I have to pay in order to make myself more accessible" and that thought intimidates me once more. On the other hand (I ask myself), "Isn't that why they have bulk mail, to deal with things you may not want to read, or even open for that matter?" I mean, how many penis enlarger, grow your hair back, please send me money in Kenya e-mails should one read in order to be more accessible? Then again, the symbolism in the dream said become more accessible, but it didn't specify to who. I'm sending you a little money, I hope it can go toward this wonderful business that you are in of making people's lives better through helping them rediscover the dreams they had as kids but forgot as adults.

–Jim

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Hi Jim! Small world in being of use to people, and money is nice! ... Thanks a million!

Never open any e-mail whatsoever unless you know in advance what it is. You're not missing anything. If I inadvertently open spam, I immediately unplug my modem or computer to hold down its electronic activity.

Modern spam has invisible traceback features, so they know when you open it! Even if you get off someone's list, they sell your name to another list. Play dead. If someone wants to get in touch with you, they'll telephone, write you a letter, or knock on your door. Even then, if you don't know who it is, play possum! Becoming accessible to a friend has to do with being alive and being in warm contact with yourself, or your work ... in an instant! ... and from that, all things flow.

E-mail is piss and a waste of time, as empty as reading a list of ingredients off crumpled sugar packets, even if it's from someone you know. If they ask, "Did you get my e-mail?" say, "Who cares? ... I'm so old anyway, what's the difference?" E-mail is like the party next door ... They're just pretending to have fun ... If they were having fun, they'd be playing possum.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Well, I want to know what you recommend for someone being constantly insulted by multiple people, children and adults, on a daily basis. I have a medical disorder that causes body odor sometimes. I seem to have it under control at this point. But people's memories are long. People appear to hate me with great zeal and glee. They love looking at various personal parts of my body and saying uggh and yuck. They know my car and yell uggh and yuck, to make sure I hear them, every time they see me. This is not just one person, this is multiple, anonymous, random people as I go through my day. I am tired of it to the point that I fear my own violence. I'm so tired that I really don't know what to do. I have come a long way and am no longer suicidal.

However, after all the work I've done internally to get over it, I just feel worn out and weary now. I don't know if I can take it every day for the next year, 2 years, endlessly. The insulters don't die, they multiply and multiply. This frightens me, the way every time I go out it seems more and more people are sneering at me and being demeaning. Because the rumor mill is working extremely well as usual. I really need some help here. I find your advice has taken me farther in my quest for inner peace in the midst of this. Thank you. This is right down my alley. A genuine need. Please help me if you can.

It's the multiple, anonymous people. The insult, though expected, just angers me that they think they have this right to me. ALL OF THEM. I once said it's just the culture, Americans hate B.O. But not everybody does this, though I think everyone secretly despises me. I'm really screwed up inside about this. Part of this is I just don't understand the reality of this situation. I don't know how you would go about answering this. Or how I would get your response. But hopefully I'll find it on the site or find some other way to contact you. Please help me.

–Anon.

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Dear Rose Petal,

It's really shocking how many people are mean and sadistic. I like smells. I study them. I like skunk smells, hot tar smells, and smells of old people who get in my taxicab who've peed all over themselves, without knowing it, and who're going to a restaurant.

I never wear deodorant, and in the last year, have stopped taking a bath or shower every day. I wear the same clothes for weeks at a time, because I've learned smells change.

Usually concentrated, or hidden smells, cause people the most problem. They become way too concentrated, so that a single whiff of them bring about almost involuntary stomach contractions and repulsion! So I try to keep all my smells out in the open, not a secret. I never mix smells with artificial dampeners, such as perfumes, or air-fresheners, because they bring about psychological effects in me and other people which are way worse, like adding powerful perfume to a rose petal. Echhh!

With time, all smells evolve. If you have stinky feet when you're young, you usually end up with feet with no smell at all! If you have nervous perspiration, you grow right through it, or out of it, and end up with invisible smells that attract people! You don't want to try to control smells!

Let smells breathe. What's natural in a living person, is never an unpleasant smell, unless it's way too concentrated, too secret, or too covered up.

Then these smells become almost unconscious triggers to mean and sadistic people, who themselves have been covering up their vicious hatred toward other people, keeping it way too concentrated, too secret, or too covered up ... who just keep going around in anonymous circles.

Catching a whiff of their own humanity in the air, they pop a cork! It's what they're like on the inside, all the time. The rotting sewers inside their own minds have just overflowed, giving you a glimpse of something that has nothing to do with your medical condition, or efforts to have a nice life.

It's sad, isn't it? They'll probably meet their match in Dead Horse, Alaska.

It's better to just be a person, stick with the part of you that's alive, and don't hide what will help you.

These are the things people carry around like burdens ... and they're like puffs.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Introduction: We welcome all triangulated feedback. For more, see mail.htm –Richard

I am finding your site very intriguing! I found after Googling for 'comebacks'. Please help with any feedback or resources - I am a good writer but a timid speaker :-|

Many blessings to you... –Md

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Thanks a million, Md!

Most intelligent people keep their mouth closed during "meetings with coworkers," simply to observe and find out which ones are mean, sadistic, or really crazy. You don't have to "contribute" in public forums. You're not on the David Letterman Show.

There's a deep part of the mind that doesn't work as fast as the give-and-take banter of ordinary life, something akin to floating down the river on a dreamboat. You can nourish this part of yourself, so you can do creative things, even out and among surprisingly mean and sadistic people.

The taxi1010.com project is designed to nourish this deep part of yourself, bring you into contact with it, and help it grow. When you went out in search of a comeback to, "Whenever I talk to him, he just always smiles," I recognized, or remembered, myself floating down the river.

The comeback you are searching for isn't a comeback to the group of people who are sitting around sneering at each other, it's a comeback to yourself, to the part of you that is young and remembers, before the dings and dents you get after your boat becomes a car, and you take it out on the highway, and have a wreck.

Out there at the conference table you encounter stormy weather, and remember you're not on a highway, you're on a ship, and there's a shipwreck ... You find a lifeboat, and dive for pearls.

When I looked at the keyword index at taxi1010.com, and examined each word in turn of "Whenever I talk to him, he just always smiles," I kept my mind empty, looking at each of the stargates 60, 88, 51, 82, 3, 37, and 22, and on my way out of the house, one of the taxi1010.com verbal bridges appeared on a thin stream of invisible bubbles in the back of my mind ... It was "Either way," and the critical part of myself nodded in affirmation.

I looked further at the kinds of attacks and responses which are already in stargate37.htm, and realized "Whenever I talk to him, he just always smiles," has a kind of resonance with other attacks ... and responses ... already there, and decided to add your contribution somewhere in their midst.

"Either way" is an interesting response, because it implies choice. We can choose to stay on the riverboat, smiling, or we can come into the world of the riverboat thieves, scoundrels, and unfed dogs and offer them a tidbit of nourishment, something they won't quite understand on the surface, though they'll leave you alone. The idea is to pretend you're the mother or father of little children playing with imaginary Jack-in-the-boxes, or watching imaginary cartoon programs on TV. That's their level. They see the Jack-in-the-box smiling, or the cartoon character smiling, and say to their imaginary mom, "Whenever I talk to him, he just always smiles."

Now you're the worse scoundrel of them all, because you lazily drawl, "Either way," adding, "Get some comic books to keep you up," which suddenly jerks them into reality. You gave something "right back," though not what they might have expected. On some level they know they're in an imaginary world.

Of course, not quite believing you said, "Get some comic books to keep you up," they'll almost certainly come over the top with another imaginary "attack."

Then without batting an eye you can respond, "I have other difficulties."

In the imaginary world of meetings, projects, and clowns, anyone who's real can choose to, though doesn't have to, put on a performance.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard!

The class will not be running this semester because of low enrollment. Two people signed up (minimum is 7) and one called with an exclamation: "I wanted to sign up for verbal self defense, but I'm not going to sign up until he tells me what KIND of questions he's going to ask me when he calls." A statement from a potential student who was talking to the school staff while I was on the phone about another concern. The person the caller was speaking to was transferred to me and said: "Jim, I have someone on the phone who does not want to take the course until you speak to her about her concern." I did not know what to say, except to remind the staff to tell her that the course was due to be cancelled because we did not have enough enrollment.

"I've never heard of anything like that." A statement by a Radio Shack employee to my question about PC serial port connections to VGA connections on a Satellite receiver. His statement had been preceded by numerous "What?" "Huh?" to another employee. At his statement I said too much by turning on my heel and saying, "I don't want to argue about it," and left. I felt an adrenaline surge on this one as I got in the car. I had thought of saying "Too bad," but I felt that would have been too sarcastic. So then I beat myself up by saying, "So what's wrong with being fresh to people you think are being mean, even if you are not sure they are being mean?" Ahhh yes, they still get to me, but I'm learning, hee, hee.

"She's not open yet." A statement from a cashier at Wegman's as I was merely APPROACHING the service desk to ask where the ice melter was located. It was 7 A.M. and I felt irritated and I said, "I need to know where the ice melter is located." "Oh, well I can help you with that." I said, "Thank you."

"Can I help you, honey?" "Yes, I'd like to buy a calendar [singular]." "How MANY would you like, honey?" "Just one I think." "Are you from around here, honey?" I engaged the person in conversation and said that my parents had lived not too far, but seeing that she was not reciprocating, I felt chagrined that I had acquiesced to her questions. Questions from the owner of a print shop that sells a great historic calendar.

Thanks, Jim.

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Dear Jim,

I've found something people can relate to! Handing them my card for VerbalTools.com, I say, "It's preparation for hostile interviews! ... for instance, just before you're going to be interviewed on 60 Minutes! ... and at the other end of the spectrum, what to do when you encounter sleep walkers!"

Most people can vividly imagine themselves being interviewed on 60 Minutes, so at least they'll be prepared!

While we have fun with the sleep walkers!

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard:

Climbing the ladder and putting up the Christmas lights on the house in Buffalo I noticed someone glaring at me in the living room window as they exited their SUV. Ah, the friend or relative of the people next door, who deal in intimidation. So, seeing the person with no neck exiting his car and glaring prompted me to say, "CAN'T WAIT" from the comfort of my front yard, behind the fence. I noticed the glaring change to a look of puzzlement. To tell the truth, I was feeling scared because he was with another person who was glaring as well. For about 10 minutes afterward, I said, "Ever hopeful" to myself, I felt better and thought that there might be change in their behavior someday.

Strange, but shortly right after that, I was immediately amused to see someone in a BMW pull up in front. He said, "Excuse me, but do you live there?" I said, "Who's asking?" with a smile. He seemed taken aback and paused and then said: "I'm asking because I'm interested in buying the house down the block, and I'd like to ask you how the neighborhood is." I responded, "Just fine." He then said (which I later thought was snide), "Thank you, it will be nice having you as a neighbor." I said, "No problem" as I headed into the house. I felt the remark was snide at best and I think he is either a Realtor or slum lord wanting to buy property "for a song" because the property he wants is no "peach." I could be wrong but it just didn't feel right, gut-wise that is. In any event, it was the second time I've been outside and someone has pulled up asking me about some other house. Last week, someone in a tow truck pulled up and asked: "Excuse me, are the people in that house [across the street] home?" To tell the truth, I have no way of knowing but I felt apprehensive and said, "Who's asking?" One of the guys said, "We are here to pick up their car." (REPO?). I responded with "Nobody Knows." The guy responded with what could only be a sarcastic "Thanks" and I said "No Problem."

The class has disappeared, no doubt for the holidays. I have agreed with the school to teach once again in January, 2005. The same goes for the Tai Chi classes, the thought of which makes me happy. It is always nice to start up new classes. This year I've invited a new friend, Stephen Hwa to do a workshop on the first night. We both studied with the same people and he touches on a facet of the Tai Chi, I'm just beginning to explore with him. My daughter told my wife, "Dad finally is beginning to relax from that nonsense that took place at work." I went with her to see What the Bleep Do We Know? and have now seen it three times. Finally, something that touches on what I read and have thought about since reading the Tao of Physics in the 70's. On the third time, my daughter and I did witness people get up and storm out during the first 5 minutes. I had read of people doing this in the reviews. I have no problem with anything that the movie had to say. On the contrary, it stimulated me to rethink a great deal about stuff I had put on the back burner. Meaning of life, religion, quantum physics, meditation, emotions, etc., lots of insight stuff, lots to think about, lots to spur more reading.

Happy Holidays in the Living Room Window, I Guess, in Buffalo,

-Jim.

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Hi Jim!

I told David Daniels something about What the Bleep Do We Know? and he asked if anyone had mentioned anything at all about something being buried inside a person from childhood ... that understands sensation ... speaks in a language of symbols. Much later, lying in bed after a sleep marathon, I groggily wrote the words (at its insistence): "Dream, Sensation, Memory, Tension" on an index card, then fell asleep once more.

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard:

The insight you have developed along with developing "non escalating verbal self defense" is astounding. Yes,it is easy to forget that people are simply trying to express the things that have troubled them since childhood and fudge it up because they haven't learned a way to express it. Now they are learning it and your point about "grappling, cajoling, teasing and spoiling" is well taken, good stuff.

By the way if you haven't seen it take a look at The Terminal with Tom Hanks. That is only a glimpse however into what Customs and Border Protection harbors at the "higher ranks" and "lower ranks" as well. People at Customs asked me what I was going to do when I retire. That is why I said "I'm planning to regain things like compassion, kindness, charity, love, etc. when I retire because they have been buried."

In looking for ways to stick up for myself at Customs, I buried the important things along with the insults and other nonsense. In learning and teaching how to express what has happened to me "preverbally" as well it comes out as being picky with the very people I am trying to help. My thoughts will turn to your sage advice when I am with the class. Thanks for the insight.

-Jim.

Hi Richard:

I have to relate this series of insults because it is a first for me. It happened at Home Depot as I was checking out, I was dumbfounded, and I literally was rendered speechless.

I approached the cashier with my cart and said, "Hi, are you open for cashing out?"

The cashier studiously ignored me, looking upwards toward the second coming of Jesus no doubt. I had no response at the time except to repeat what I had said, but the bridge that I looked up later would be: "What's missing?"

She came out of her rapture and said: "I'll take your money." "That'll help." (I could only think) because as soon as she said that, the other cashier came over and they take up the middle of a conversation: "Even though she is a little fat, she has a nice shape," ("Hard times," I found later). "Well, her shape is not the problem, he is," ("But better!" I found later). "Yeah, he is, and he's not much to look at ... I think all she has is a self-esteem problem," ("Maybe not," I found later), all the while ignoring me as the customer. They are so absorbed, she doesn't notice I used my debit card (not a credit card), and she mistakenly hands me the receipt to sign, then looks exasperatedly at me, realizes it is her mistake, offering no apology merely looks away without a thank you. WOW!

-Jim.

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Hi Jim!

Hmmm. There's theater here - It's really a piece of drama - and putting aside questions of who's tricking who into wanting to control the entire world, let's dive right in!

When a stranger meets you with total silence, they're really pretending you're dead - that you don't even exist - and It's murder! (They're too angry to admit it, much less, understand their own dramatic background and childhood experiences). So let's move right over to stargate50, which deals with this kind of theatrical silence. One way to respond is by simply uttering, Bad, huh? addressing nothing in particular.

Then she pretends to wake up and says, "I'll take your money," and I would continue with the theme of being bad, saying, REALLY bad, from stargate56, adding, "That's what they all do," as backup, placing you firmly in reality.

Now she moves back to total ignoring (by striking up a conversation with another clerk) and it's kind of tricky. How can you effectively join in without getting too weird? Well, Why bother? Let's just get weird! ... diving headlong into stargate03.

Okay, now we're back again, and she's staring at us with an exasperated look. Let's go back to stargate50 and utter, Many more! the way a drunk might offer a toast for a job well done!

In response, she looks away without so much as a Thank You. There's a little vaudeville routine that works like this: You say, "Thank you ..." to a teenage boy, and he responds with a surly, "Uh-huh" or "Yeah." At this point, with perfect timing, you add, "... So much!" So, by extension, when someone doesn't say Thank You when you might reasonably expect it, you might add, "So much!" - as no more than a slight gesture - at stargate26.

Curtain.

Notice in this entire production, the only keyword we're responding to is when she actually talked to you. She said, "I'll take your money," and we're responding to the keyword "money." Otherwise, since she's not talking to you directly, we're responding to psychological handles: "silence," "aside," "dialogue," "digression," "exasperatedly," and "away."

Ciao,
-Richard.

Hi Richard:

The class is truly interesting in light of what you and I have discussed about people either being "themselves" or being "their Mother." Perhaps if they read this they will get more of an idea that we need to confine ourselves to asking essential questions. Oops, I meant to say we ALL need to confine ourselves to asking essential questions. The person that I thought was a "sleeper" is at least concerned with asking essential questions and seems interested in "being themselves." Others insist on going back in time and "grappling" with events and the "personalities" that have filled their lives. I find myself exasperated at the times when I say: "Tell me what the person said to you, word for word." They say: "Well that's what I'm saying," then they continue talking around what happened with no specifics whatsoever, going on for an extended period about WHAT happened not WHAT WAS SAID. If those personalities have given them heartache, trouble, a hard time, etc., the students want to hang onto the negative emotions of what happened. They do this class after class as if to say "this person I know is beyond two-word responses, so obviously these two-word responses don't work."

Other students go on about how rotten people make them feel. In this regard, the students cannot recall what people said to them, they "bury" it. That in spite of my repeated urgings to try to recall and even write down EXACTLY what has been said to them WORD for WORD. They are still "grappling" with events, emotions, the idea of two-word responses, me, etc. and don't want to let go in order to learn. It's like the Zen story: "A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's overfull! No more will go in!" the professor blurted. "You are like this cup," the master replied, "How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup."

Until I interject and make a point of directing things back to asking essential questions the monologues continue. They are trying to use the class as therapy and I am persistent in not letting it become therapy and I always direct it back to essential questions. I occasionally tell them exactly what someone said to me and explain that it provides an example of how they should proceed with using the two-word responses like a martial artist would use a technique. Occasionally one of them has taken on the role of a "cajoler" toward me in addition to continuing with monologues. It seems to befit the role of the "grappler" to also take on the role of "cajoler" and tease or "dis" the teacher. He says: "Maybe ... it will happen if JIM does it." I said: "unbelievable" which nailed it.

After I use a two-word response to some "tease" or "a spoiler" giving me my "comeuppance" we always get back to asking essential questions. That lasts for awhile then the "grappler" starts grappling once again with some personality that has crossed their path, I can see the "slippery slope" beckoning me from a distance. Of course if you ask them "what did the personality specifically say?" they just shrug it off in some fashion. Seemingly, they not only want to hang onto and grapple with negative emotions and events but they want to use me as a surrogate to grapple with those things. When I won't grapple, they resort to cajoling or spoiling. WOW. I'm sending a little money, so please watch out for it and I hope it can help in some way. Thanks again for everything.

-Jim.

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As an afterthought, I meant to say "unbelievable, huh?" and not just "unbelievable" to the person in the class who made the comment: "Maybe ... it will happen if JIM does it." My use was not entirely correct but I'm learning all the time, especially from my mistakes.

For instance, I felt cheerful when someone said "Are you only going to have three people here tonight?" in regard to the Tai Chi class. I immediately said, "You're safe." He said, "From what?" to which I responded, "Much worse!" and we both had a great laugh. I was thinking of something a student had said to me just last week when I had made the point that we often have to do Tai Chi when we don't feel like it, not just when we feel like it. I had said "it's like learning to be happy when we are unhappy." That went off like a bomb with someone who said, "Have you learned to be happy when you are unhappy?" I said, "Ever hopeful," which seemed to nail it. On the way out they said sarcastically, "I didn't come here to be happy, I came here to be fit," and I said "That's it," which seemed to nail it. I must say as an aside, that's a hoot because they have missed 5 classes out of 10 scheduled, 3 of which they took in Vegas. To coin an expression: "it's like putting a drop of fresh water in the ocean," considering they only come once a week as it is. They lie so bad, cause they are the "COMPLAINERS." They don't come to get fit, they come to have a fit.

-Jim.

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Hi Jim!

The people in your classes are learning the same things you're learning. For openers, they're admitting they fee