"Hillary Clinton tonight had a very strong performance. I think she had a very good performance."

—Pour it on!

"It's moved?" [the hotel]

—Oh, I didn't know that.

"Have you moved? ... Did you get a new roommate?"

—What have I done wrong?

"When does your shift start?"

—Just beginning.

"I see, you're a coffee fiend!"

—There's a being inside that needs nourishment — so you nourish it!

"What the hell is your problem? – You're not good enough!" [Line chef screaming at another line chef in a busy kitchen]

—Will you stop giving me a hard time? – It's grease, baby! – No one does – This is what makes the Eiffel Tower hum – I don't trust you! – You're going to quit while you're ahead – Where did you learn to say that one? – You're a jungle fever! – But please, don't monkey with Broadway! – Want a half Mexican? – How are you finding a solid black shoe on your neck? – What's beyond delusion? – You did a good job! – It looks worse than it did – You call that working? – You're doing that on charm – Get some method in your work – It's not my fault! – You never watch what I'm doing – I don't know, I just watch it! – Sometimes it's better to do things slowly – It won't be hard – This is why robots will never make it.

"Oh, are you really closed?" [Also see the WAITER / WAITRESS special, at stargate65]

—Way too soon! ... Like in Europe ... Traitor! ... Everything's changing ... You could see it coming ... Now I can sing! ... Instant human! Just add coffee! ... And now nothing! ... Shoot for the moon, and if you fall, you'll land in a penthouse! ... What does an apricot have that you don't have? ... Get out of here! You stink!

"But you've only been closed for five minutes."

—I'm asleep, it's okay ... Too down to go! ... It's an awareness thing ... Things mean so much to these people ... Right away you're wrong! ... Don't let people fool you into making things ugly. Think about that.

"I would NEVER have closed the office for such a little thing."

—Not everyone can do everything.

"I guess I just expected you to use better judgment."

—Your parents had a very strange conception of life.

"What the hell are you doing here, anyway?"

—It's fate.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

—Don't try to figure things out — Feed what's inside you!

"Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense looks like it could be interesting just from the title, but it seems to be an interesting idea completely ruined by an idiosyncratic and baffling presentation that surely only makes sense to its creators." [Link from Lake Effect, May 5, 2003 – first of five sentences (failure); the remaining four are covered in stargates 75 (nagging) and 30 (marginalization)]

—I think the dog did it, or the cat.

"I have a tragedy."

—Wait! You're talking too fast – Talk slower so I can understand it.

"We stopped serving breakfast."

—Thank you for your assistance – Thank you for your help.

"We're closed over here."

—Go easy on yourself.

"It is a tragedy."

—Did you work hard today?

"No rest for the weary."

—You know, you just plan your day.

"I was a combination of sad and angry and disappointed and hurt." [Wife discussing her husband's interest in erotica on the CBS Evening News, May 1, 2007]

—Did you become a traitor? ... Wearing sateen, dark red lipstick, hanging out in pool houses ... You never know what they're going to do ... It hurts a lot ... Maybe I'll change my ways ... I feel better about it now ... When the lion is chasing the antelope, he doesn't look back.

"Have you gotten any lately?"

—You're a star ... Got milk? ... Got condoms? ... Lick what?

"He's the designated pansy."

—If the pope were here, he would understand.

"What I know is, as long as you keep your work zipped up around me, I don't give a rat crap what or where you shove your show."

—You have to give up hating other people and concentrate on having a good life.

"You're going to die soon with that diet, you know that."

—Of all the things in the universe, death is one of the nicer things.

"Are you still on a diet?"

—I know you don't like it, but this is the way I am.

"Eat tiny portions and NEVER go back for seconds."

—It's good when I break my diet.

"You don't need to be drinking every night — You don't need those calories."

—You tried it twice — Try something else.

"Jane, are you trying to look unattractive?"

—Read, The Dwarf. (1945, Par Lagerkvist)

"My ass is big, but yours just has to dominate Holland."

—It's really criminal to treat your body as a friend.

"You know, the reason I'm so thin is that I would never eat a whole box of cookies."

—Don't cheat yourself.

"What are you reading?"

—It's a mystery.

"You just have the appearance of being an airhead."

—Cryptic, enigmatic.

"If Ricky tries to contest this, he doesn't have a leg to stand on."

—I'm going to use all the money I get to make a nicer grave for my mother.

"That cut just isn't meant for a full-figured gal like you."

—You're starving, yourself.

"I feel icky!"

—Heartless creature.

"Your bullshit is extremely good today."

—I'll send it to you.

"You've got some nerve telling me all that bullshit."

—Over time.

"I'm sorry — that dress doesn't come in larger sizes."

—Well, everybody's got something good about them.

"Are you upset? When is your period? Are you on the rag?"

—You're carrying a heavy burden on your shoulders.

"Are you on the rag?"

—Feed your family!

"It must be that time of month." [To a woman]

—If it isn't, so what?

"HEY, YOU DIRTY WHORE!"

—They turn women into men, and men into idiots.

"YOU DIRTY WHORE!"

—AND DON"T STOP.

"You whore!"

—It's hard to tell, huh?

"C. U. Next Tuesday!"

—Don't forget!

"Cunt!"

—What do you mean, get all the air out of your brain?

"Fat whore."

—You have to do it when it's wet.

"He called you a whore!"

—How does it feel to be the healthiest person in your family?

"More energy — You've got to simmer down!"

—There isn't a part of my body that doesn't express itself.

"I wish you wouldn't do that without my permission."

—Tell the witch — She'll let you.

"With your permission, of course."

—And the rat takes the bait.

"How can the Americans make this mistake?" [An errant bomb, many dead and wounded]

—Prepare your kids for a hard life, which every life is sooner or later.

"Go to hell."

—What time?

"How much is the gas here now?"

—There's not many places you can go anymore, are they?

"How much did that set you back?"

—I'm sure you'll find one when everything's cheap.

"Why doesn't the Bill Gates Foundation pay for it?"

—They're all assholes ... There you go ... Someone likes someone.

"How much money do you make driving a taxi?"

—Have some faith.

"HOW MUCH? ... I SAID, 'HOW MUCH?'" [As if you're a prostitute]

—Let's not argue about it.

"I knew you weren't man enough to take care of a woman."

—I wouldn't fool around.