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Taunts, Insults or Attacks

Codewords Inside Aggressive "Tricks"

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Six Choices

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The Way Out

 

CLINIC

PATIENT

DIAGNOSTIC

Patient refers to it as stargate-one-three

A Nitwit.1

Nagging.1

 

TOOLSET

INFORMAL FALLACY

 

—Good advice.

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—No more skin in the game.

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

Moxie's

Disease

 

Abandon Discussion — This is an attempt to cut short an argument when the attacker feels threatened (or senses they are momentarily winning) – The temptation is to leap into the sewer with them – Just wait five days, that's my advice – They usually slit their own throat.

 

NOTES TO MYSELF

PSYCHOLOGICAL AGE

CLASS

[back-seat driving & parroting] - Do things for the sake of doing things, for nothing in return - Something will turn up - When people offer suggestions at the workplace, say, Don't Tell Me What To Do! very loudly on the inside. Say things like, "I'll see what I can do," "I'll have to work on that," and "I'll watch for that," on the outside.

The Age of Domination, ages 0-3

Challenges

 

 
 
 
 
 

Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.

TRICKS

WINGS

IDEAS

"I'm not a bully."

—Good advice.

—It's convenient.

"I believe in past lives – in reincarnation."

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—That's what God says ... Don't forget that.

"There are only two places to get good food. One of them is Berkeley, and one of them is France. And France is only second to Berkeley."

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—Who pays you to control the universe?

"I'm not religious."

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—It becomes carelessness.

"Say words."

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—On a black background.

"If your investigative work is as limp as your dick, you might as well leave right now."

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—The only reason I would go would be so when I meet people, I can go, "Boogie, boogie, boogie!" ... I know where the cops hang out ... Any trouble you make is good, because it brings light on the situation ... When someone attacks, what they're really doing is enflaming their fear.

"I'd like to hear YOU say some words – I'm not too picky." [Super Bowl XLIV commercial, 7 February 2010]

—Far better! Don't laugh.

Ignore yourself!

"Say something unforgettable, guys!"

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—Anything less?

"If someone is mean to me, I try to see where they're coming from – Maybe they had a bad day or something."

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—It's so sad, isn't it?

"If you say so."

—Good advice.

—It's all murder and sex – You might graduate to slaughter ... It's all in your mind ... There's no such thing as bad ... Your mother makes you pay for everything.

"Roberta always has to go back for something." [Habitually talking about you in the third person, as if you're not there]

—No more skin in the game.

—It's a scandal ... Now you know what the Marx Brothers' mother felt like ... It's no big deal ... If you have faith.

"Tiger Woods was idealized by us, his audience. In fact, he is a normal, flawed human being, who is additionally cut off from himself and from his ability to connect intimately because of the false idealization we have foisted on him." (–Kenneth M. Settel, psychiatrist)

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

I told you so! ... You never know ... Let it go ... Stick to yourself, what else can you do?

"As a mom, I am thrilled that my daughter wants to read all of The Babysitter Club books because I don't have to worry about anything inappropriate happening in the stories." (–Julie Peterson, mother of two in Mechanicsburg, Pa., who blogs at Booking Mama)

—Good advice.

—I guess it's an investment now ... You brought that in? ... They're like a carpet salesman ... They just keep going ... You just don't know the culture ... If we sell everything for a hundred dollars for three months, will it fly us around the world in one night?

"What do you expect? ... if you call that a joke!"

—No more skin in the game.

—It's all symbols, you know?

«Never joust verbally with someone who makes little sense»

—Good advice.

—Stand in one place and tie your feet together.

«How to respond to a verbal bully»

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

Just a little bit worse – It's very hard for people to understand if you're not in trouble.

"When are you going to marry her?"

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—I'll see what I can do.

"You want to retire someday, huh?"

—Good advice.

—I'm glad you left the children out ... I'm glad you left the kids out.

"Do you think you're qualified to make that judgment?"

—No more skin in the game.

—Talk about chutzpah!

"If you don't want to tell me, that's okay."

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—It's a very complicated formula.

"Get those creative juices going and design creative things!"

—No more skin in the game.

—Maybe I'll redesign the airport with a tin roof and a big yellow dot, color-coded for kids, for children's this and that and the other ... maybe a children's Laundromat.

"How do you ask for a raise?"

—Good advice.

—How about a raise? Don't you think I deserve it? I think I've been doing really good.

"Excuse me, sir, are you registered to vote?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—I don't take it lightly – This is California!

"Are you going to vote?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Heads you lose, tails you lose if you listen to other people.

"Who are you going to vote for?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Let Jesus do it.

"Who'd you vote for?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Behind closed doors ... It's cheap, too ... They've got the pick of the crop ... Oh, I don't know, maybe for my violin ... When you think they're going to win, they lose, and when you think they're going to lose, they win.

"So who are you voting for?"

—Good advice.

—Utah Phillips says, "My body is my ballot ... Cast that body ballot on behalf of the people around you every day of your life, every day ... Don't assign responsibility to other people to do things. Accept responsibility and see to it that something gets done."

"Do you invest in the Internet?"

—Good advice.

—Where I'm from that's a semiprivate thing ... Why don't you do it yourself?

"You picked it – You killed it." [The flower you gave her]

—No more skin in the game.

—Funny you should notice.

"She, my darling, is conspicuously single. Maybe if she had gone to Wellesley she would have amounted to something."

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—Did Bugs Bunny die?

"Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class."

—Good advice.

Bad children grow up ... Kill yourself before you get in trouble ... I want you to stop living ... That's all there is to it.

"You're a complete idiot."

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—But not out loud ... The moon with a fish in it ... That's breathing.

"You're an idiot."

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—I don't want to ruin the effect.

"Farnaz, your post indicates that you have a very underdeveloped sense of humor. I'm sure that there is a government program out there that could help you learn to lighten up. However, if you prefer to look in the private sector for help, I suggest that you look for old (late 70s) copies of National Lampoon (the issue with an article about 'Dog Fishing' is particularly good), buy DVDs of Animal House and 'Caddy Shack,' and perhaps invest in a 6-pack of Budweiser. Come to think of it, maybe that's the ammo our troops need over in Iraq."

—Good advice.

—We might.

"You are still young, please take it from one who graduated in the 60s, a little humor / irony might lighten your load a bit."

—Good advice.

—If you can see it – There's a little kernel inside you that can grow, if you give it attention, nourishment ..

"Don't tell me words don't matter. 'I have a dream' — just words? 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal' — just words? 'We have nothing to fear but fear itself' — just words? Just speeches?" (–Barack Obama, February 16, 2008)

—Good advice.

—I didn't get to hear, is it powerful? ... Next time pick the Louvre.

"'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal' — just words? Just words? 'We have nothing to fear but fear itself; — just words? 'Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country' — just words? 'I have a dream' — just words?" (–Deval Patrick, 2006 campaign speech, successfully running for governor of Massachusetts)

—No more skin in the game.

—Really WASPy, isn't it?

"I will fight every moment of every day in this campaign to make sure Americans are not deceived by an eloquent call for change. It's no more than an eloquent but empty call for change that promises no more than a holiday from history and a return to false promises and failed policies of a tired philosophy that trusts in government more than the people." (–John McCain, referring to Barack Obama)

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—I can't go backward in time on this ... I don't feel I have enough energy to – I really don't ... Aren't these Maypoles merry?

"It makes you feel like you're in a box." [Getting married to someone you don't really like]

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Capable of doing things outside, too ... Kiss Student! ... Don't leave yourself out!

«Best comebacks to say in a fight with words

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—By and large; more or less; in any event; inasmuch as; in a nutshell; at any rate; for the most part; by the way; by all means; in just a few words; insofar as; any old how! ... Now I'm a real cosmopolitan killer of the revolution!

«My world in ten words or less»

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—You can't get out of this life alive!

"You just open your mouth and words come out?"

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—I'm really amazed no one has even thought of that.

"You took the words out of my mouth."

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Nobody tells me anything.

"How do you respond to the word, kiddo?"

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—Down like a mother-fucker for truth! (–Oedipus of Thieves)

"If we don't do this, people will die." [Justification for the CIA's combination of extreme interrogation tactics, including sleep deprivation, prolonged stress positions, isolation, intense violent music, slapping on the head, waterboarding, chilling at fifty degrees Fahrenheit]

—No more skin in the game.

—Not just Jews, Italians! ... C'mon! Would I cheat you? ... "I'm not the guy that you kill ... I'm the guy that you buy!" ... (–George Clooney in Michael Clayton, 2007) ... "The whole point is we substitute speech and debate for force; that certainly includes views that are obnoxious." (–Carolyn Marvin, University of Pennsylvania)

"Good morning, dickhead."

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—How are you doing, big guy?

"You're insulting my intelligence."

—No more skin in the game.

—Let's hope it shines in the dark.

"Want some advice?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Anyone can listen.

"Can I give you a little friendly advice?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Do you mind if I do it in ten years?

"I think you should apologize."

—No more skin in the game.

—With or without laces?

"Is that the way you apologize?"

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—I apologize to all the shoes.

[Someone truly upset with you]

—Good advice.

—I'm so sorry I said something bad ... Have a cookie! [Slow low voice]

"Don't apologize."

—Good advice.

—Just so you won't feel jealous.

"I never argue with a man who is wrong."

—Good advice.

—Quite a challenge.

"If you can't go topless at David and Diana's, where can you go topless?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Carthage must be destroyed!

"I will if you will!"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Any way is fine.

"If I leave, what are you going to do?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Do what you want.

"If you don't like it, do something about it."

—Good advice.

—Dealings with the generous are not difficult.

"If you haven't read that book, I don't see how we can even discuss this."

—Good advice.

—Thank you, brother, for chastising me! It has made my humiliation that much richer.

"If you don't like it, you can get out of here ... or we'll just kick you out."

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—How elegant.

"I have stomach poisoning from your lousy food!"

—No more skin in the game.

—What is it, Christmas?

"You shouldn't make bedroom eyes in the workplace."

—Good advice.

—I give all my energy to my job.

"What's a sexual pervert?"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—All he does is kick and swirl his penis around like a propellor.

"You almost ran over that guy, but who cares?"

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—I'll watch for that.

"The man you ran over just died."

—No more skin in the game.

—Like in a war.

"Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?"

—Far better! Don't laugh.

—It costs you nothing.

"Sounds like a bunch of words."

—No more skin in the game.

—Just another day to throw away!

"You idiot!"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Do you need a new boss down at the factory?

"IDIOT!"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—YOU'RE THE EXPERT!

"It's a walkway, shithead!"

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—Good day to work on a roof.

"Anytime, anytime!" [Insincerely, because you didn't meet their stringent expectations – You simply slipped through the open door without saying anything]

—Foreign policy. The mountain!

—What do you want to do, walk your dog? ... And I'm paying for this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

REFLECTIONS

 
 
 
 
 

30-MAY-1999. I don't want to say too much about "—Oy! Entschuldigsmier!" except to say it's Yiddish for "Oh! Excuse me!" or as a WASP Valley Girl might say, "—Oh! Major!"

You pronounce the Yiddish, "—Oy! Uuwnt-SHUUL-dig-schmier!" though the best way to learn its proper inflection is from an extraordinarily beautiful, generous, warmhearted Jewish woman who pronounces it once or twice as you gaze into her sparkling eyes. That's really the only way to learn a foreign language.

If you learn a foreign language from a strict, controlling, unhappy High School teacher, you can't really capture the beauty.


27-NOV-2014.

 

Thick
of
It

ShortCuts

Top
of
Page

 

As follows

CODE WORDS: accept, advice, almost, amounted, anytime, apologize, argue, babysitter, bedroom, Berkeley, box, bully, conspicuously, deceived, design, dickhead, eloquent, foisted, idealization, idiot, if, insulting, invest, investigative, joust, kiddo, lighten, limiting, limp, marry, picked, poisoning, qualified, raise, ran, reincarnation, religious, retire, Roberta, sexual, shithead, Tiger, truths, unforgettable, [upset], vote, voting, walkway, words

 

XIII
Canes Venatici
"Hunting dogs"

—Far better! Don't laugh.