"That's for milquetoasts." [Salesman describing the new BMW M3]

—I'll have to remember that one.

"Such a wimp."

—Don't be too sure.

"I'm cold! Can you close the window? I'm really a wimp."

—It's just a memory.

"There she goes!" [The girl you're secretly crazy about]

—You know, I had a mother; I don't need another one.

"Do those dogs bite?"

—Not my dog.

"Everybody's doing it."

—I think that's enough.

"Everybody's taking something. Why not?"

—Where did those big dogs come from?

"Everybody's crazy today."

—Perfect control. [Also see, Peer Pressure]

["Why doesn't this taxi have a meter?"] "You are very rude."

—Something funny about this money.

"How rude of you!"

—If Allah didn't want dogs to bark, he wouldn't have made them.

"How rude!"

—You're supposed to have your own life, do your own things, and that's it!

"That's the way the cookie crumbles."

—Look in the oven.

"Whose idea was this?"

—It's a confluence of planets.

"Can we try a French kiss?"

—Me and my kidneys thank you.

"This isn't working; you're not my type."

—Can't you do anything wrong?

"Maybe it's for the best." [Rejecting you]

—I can afford to feel things like that.

["Maybe I should go."] "I think that's best."

—What do they have? Nothing! Just a mountain of bills.

"We feel the time has come for you to have graduated." [Having overstayed your welcome at a Christian Japanese Church]

—That's the dead hand of the Church — I don't have time for unhappy people.

"How could you be so rude?"

—I've got a girlfriend.

"That was rude!"

—What a great discussion.

"That wasn't very polite."

—Everyone is rude to people who think they're better than other people.

"Did you notice you're the most polite person here?"

—It's a matter of honor.

"It was just the ether, Wilbur."

—Did you read, "Hansel and Gretel?"

"How much more you got to eat?"

—Pretty soon they'll have too many vultures.

"The longer you wait, the more it's going to cost."

—It's a mirage.

"Who would you root for if the Yankees played the Cubs in the World Series?"

—That's a fairy tale.

"Now that you have a home in Chappaqua, idiots will be driving by tooting their horns."

—Was that you?

[When you pick up the phone, the caller says,] "Who's this?"

—Before your time.

["This is Richard."] "Richard ... Hart? Is this Richard ... Hart?" [An anonymous bill collector]

—Hello! Do you talk to cockatoos?

"What's your boss say about this?"

—No one says you can't, right?

"Who wrote this piece of shit?"

—It's too hard.

"Why did you decide not to advertise with us anymore?"

—I talked it over with my parents.

"Why did you decide to go with the other company?"

—The well is dry.

"You thought I was a good enough roommate when I moved in."

—You die if you don't work.

"This is for you." [Image]

—Wherever it's bad – It's a madhouse? [Image]

[Something to tell yourself, having not been invited to the party next door]

—You just think you're a shit, and everyone else is happy.

"With a body like that, you could go places!"

—You could go to Pleasure Island.

"You stay out of it; this is between her and us."

—Want another one?

"You're a weakling."

—Who says I have to play life by your rules?

"We have a dress code."

—Everyone's gone through that phase ... A little wound up.

[Someone booting you out of a blues club, essentially because you're by yourself]

—I know you! I know you and that dog are in collusion ... Well, let's leave it at that ... That's how you get over these things ... You find a nicer situation, and see the difference.

"So you respond to unoriginal things with unoriginal things?"

—It's not just words ... It means something ... Then you'll hear the yes-but, you know, the giant asshole that comes out of the sky and shit comes out of it.