"I just got out of the hospital."

—Very bewildering.

"When's the sun going to come out?"

—It's over the crest.

"When are we going home?"

—They have a good saying in Germany — "The cobbler should stick to the last!"

"I'll call you when I come in to the airport." [Pretending you'll drop everything, race to the airport, break all the taxi protocols, bribe the starters and police officers, miraculously find them, and for what?]

—Go over the top!

"If you are targeted by a cyberbully, stop, block and tell!"

—It's not going overboard for anything ... You have to find an inner barometer ... Life is what you say it is.

"That was a really nice response — It was so natural."

—They're not scripted.

"Is it working?"

—All things come to dogs who wait.

"Now as I sit here today, I don't know what is truth, and I don't know what isn't." [From Oprah Winfrey]

—I wouldn't worry ... Probably somewhere down deep there's a little kid that wants to come out ... Just face it: You're bad! ... The "oughts" ... A whiff of your mother's perfume ... Very little, but there's a leak ... Don't you put soapy water on and look for bubbles?

"What is truth?"

—You have to be very smart to be that happy . . . Never stand behind a car that's backing up!

"Is your show on?"

—I knew there was an ulterior motive.

"Is she here?" [Ignoring your girlfriend]

—Very hidden.

"Is that a boy or a girl?"

—A little of both.

"How is it?" [Your steak, veggies, potato, wine, service, conversation, vacation, sunburn, horror, tablecloth, salad dressing, soup, ....]

—It's perfect ... Just right!

"How's your soup?"

—If it's a parallel universe, how can you see it?

"Is everything prepared all right, Sir?"

—The whole thing.

"Is that a yes?"

—I don't know how else to put it.

"Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

—Without ice!

["Thank you."] "Uh-huh."

—And weird stuff.

["I do research on mean people, rude people, stupid people, phony people and bullies."] "Any tips?"

—They manipulate people for power ... You have to see the effect ... It hurts! ... They're tricking people ... They're not really tricking people, because they don't know what they're doing ... I say dodge 'em ... I say get out of their way ... Why should I let them hurt me? ... Why should I allege myself to scoundrels? ... Drop out! ... That's what I'm doing ... It's my body, it's my life, it's my choice ... It's just so obvious, you know? ... Less really is more.

—You can only be pleasantly surprised.

[A parking lot attendant using bureaucratic double talk to cheat you out of fifty cents]

—And they wonder why jazz is dead.

"I watched you carefully, and you didn't screw up once."

—I can't stand having to do things the right way.

"Good evening."

—Twilight – that blessed moment when body and soul are one.

"Have a nice night."

—Maybe I will.

"Good-bye ... have a good night."

—I do that all the time.