"Everything always has to be black and white for you."

—You're confused.

"You're being unreasonable."

—I'm the one who's ruining the atmosphere of Happy Hollow ... It's my attitude ... It's no good.

"You're being a psychobitch!"

—I'm not afraid of you – I'm afraid of my mother!

"taxi1010 stupid! You're doing it wrong."

—Is this really evil?

"You're a nigger yourself."

—You're much too plantation oriented – And who isn't?

"Don't forget who you're talking to!"

—I don't know why, for a couple of thousand years, people can't see there's no god.

"It's a waste of gas." [Thursday rehearsal for a weekend Blue Angels air show]

—The room of rising fumes.

"Why are you giving me a citation?"

—You want to see what you're doing and get wise to it.

"The Polytechnic is history. Vietnam is history. Auschwitz is history. Hippies are history. Punks are history. God is history. Hollywood is history. The Soviet Union is history. My parents are history. My friend Joe is becoming history. I will become history. This fucking shithole planet will become history. Take more drugs." (–Christos Tsiolkas, extract from Loaded)

—They always miss one thing ... I can endure.

"You're not on the list." [Trans: You're not on the five-member task force]

—I wouldn't bother with people I don't like . . . I appoint you to be keeper of the flame.

"What are you doing over there? You're supposed to be over here!"

—That's none of my business.

"We're doing the basement, remember?"

—Save it!

"Is there any compromise?"

—I hope you don't mind – I get angry, too.

"Compromise."

—There's safety in slowland, right?

"Life is a compromise."

—It's always better not to do anything permanent at first.

"Do I know you from someplace?"

—Let that be a lesson to you.

"Anything's possible."

—Even happiness?

"Nothing is impossible."

—They really believe that radio tubes are going to power locomotives – They must have a divine belief in their ability – It's delusions of grandeur.

"I had a nightmare – I dreamt I was back in the radio room."

—And you don't need it.

"Oh, go back to Ohio."

—I do worse things than you.

"Oh, my God! — This is really a nightmare."

—You have to put yourself first.

"People think they have to memorize everything."

—The big thing is in knowing who to avoid.

"You're a long ways from home."

—It would take a long time to paint a turtle on top of a bird on top of a snake on top of a heron, as seen from above.

"Now you're being smart with me."

—Breaking rules – Everyone has the right to be what they are!

"You better take care of yourself! You're lucky I don't kick your motherfucking ass!"

—MY GOOD MAN, I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO HARM YOU.

"Go back to San Francisco, man!"

—WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME THIS WAY?

"Probably molests little girls."

—Poor kids, no? How little we know.

"Only in San Francisco."

—At least LA is really dirty.

"Oh, pul-lease!"

—You know, you don't have to eat any of it if you don't like it.

"Can you call me a cab? — You've got a radio."

—I must be delusional.

"Are you a candidate for sainthood?" [From a well-dressed gentleman ambushing you at your car with an elaborate, swiftly changing story]

—Aaron T. Beck says, "There is more to the surface than meets the eye."

"They say he's the last Pope before the coming of the Antichrist."

—He's too nice to be the Pope.

"Is arrogance and unwavering self-regard the antidote to guilt?"

—You win – You win again – You're very tricky.

"You are being judgmental and petty."

—Me and my big mouth – How can you kill someone who's already dead?

"If the shoe fits, wear it."

—The shoe's on the other foot.

"You can't buy affection ... except maybe at pet stores."

—A dog from Africa! In the wilds of the north.

"You don't know the first thing about guns."

—You know, you didn't give me any money ... I'm sorry, you're not giving me any money.

"You're too introspective."

—Are you holding it hostage?

"I've got a date with my husband."

—Too bad I wasn't just dreaming.

"Ritenour? Ritenour? What high school did you go to?"

—You're not cheated.

"Rich kids' school."

—It's one of the ways your tribe is allowed to express anger – You know, lording it over other people ... sending food back.

"I see a sad, lonely, angry, isolated boy."

—Even if he lives on Mars.

"Is it till death do us part?"

—That's what life is, pretending you're dead.

"I know what those guys are up to — I've seen it before."

—Why would they bury two people in one grave?

"See? That aggravates me."

—You'll do all right.

[Someone boring you to death at a party]

—Giraffes.

"They park there, saying they just can't hold it any longer."

—It's nice out.

"Then they go into the rest room and swap tickets with one of their buddies — That's why he's all angry."

—It's so nice out, I could leave it out all day.

"The guard knows all about it and won't let them back in line."

—All is revealed.

"You know, you don't take criticism well."

—It goes without saying.

"What did you spend it on?" [All your credit card debt]

—Lightning bugs.

"Don't spend it all in one place."

—The wishing well.

"Know-it-all."

—Another racket.

"Smart aleck, smarty-pants!"

—I'm surprised it's legal.

"I hate blondes; I hate all blondes."

—A specialist.

"The Supreme Court needs to be five to four in favor of God, not in favor of Norman Lear, NOW, NARAL and other Anti-God, Anti Marriage things, or this nation will get God real mad!" (–Pat Robertson)

—A university on the moon: Moon U.

"Israel is the root of evil."

—At least I'm not a lying pig ... I understand what goodness and decency are.

"I think we should allow more impartial studies to be done on this." (–President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, questioning the evidence that the Holocaust ever happened, 20 Sep 2006)

—"I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff." (–Dilbert)

"I don't believe the Holocaust ever happened."

—You're not only mixed up, but you're a nincompoop.

"It's not in the New Testament."

—The Bible is in you — You're not in the Bible.

"Blow me — It's show business."

—You can't be grown-up.

"You can start sucking my cock!"

—You bought a bad nightclub act for yourself.

["This is not an asthma symphony!" After asking you one question about your asthma, your mother thinks she can proceed with an unrelenting barrage of intimate questions about your asthma in front of your girlfriend]

—It's good when people know what they can't do.

[Someone reciting poetry in your face. (You can see this as one of the compulsive utterances of Tourette's syndrome) What they really want is attention; it's up to you which way you pay attention to them]

—In a hundred years it will be fabulous.

"Some people think they have to put on the glitter."

—There's only so much you can do.

"Well, I'm thrilled that you're happy."

—This is a good time to have a liberal-arts education.

"You're right — I'm wrong."

—Why should you be?

"I'm always wrong — You're always right."

—It's all a transference.

"What? You're leaving now? Aren't you going to stay and help with the dishes?"

—I learned it from you!

"Trying to be something that you're not."

—You know, you're a whole person — You don't want to get stuck in one part of you.

"You're still safe."

—Do you sit on the giant turtles?

"You're asking too many questions."

—Every day is the day of the dead.

"You're nothing."

—Just don't join the Nazi party.

"Suck my cock!"

—Unless you think you're God or something.

"You're not."

—It's an accommodation to nature that's successful.

"You're a woman!"

—You have to be quick.

"Bend over."

—Get a dog — A dog won't care if you're an asshole.

"You've already taken this class."

"Put a lid on it, Bozo."

—Bozo makes people laugh.

"Sorry to bore you."

—It all depends on what you take seriously.

"I was just being friendly."

—Very loyal.