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Patient refers to it as stargate-three-seven

A Hypocrite.1






—Very nice.

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Not entirely.




A Child is Inherently Evil and Born in Sin — You should lay off kids. You shouldn't give them any more burdens than they have – Instead of "There's a wise-ass guy cheating at something," see "There's a person who is a live wise-ass."





[turning on you or lashing out] - Why shouldn't a person learn as much as possible about sticking up for themselves? - See "The Alehouse Doctrine," below.

The Age of Self-Expression, ages 8-11




Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.




"I'm a believer in our Savior Jesus Christ and that's where I put my faith, my hope and my life."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—"There's something in a person like a great cathedral, where people are kind to each other, or at the very least, polite and civil. A person should learn how to defend that place even on the street." (–David Daniels)

"I'm just saying."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Did you make a wish? ... The magic words.

"Don't be an asshole! ... Just saying."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Can't you have some mercy? ... Yeah, it's a hot topic ... Half of that ... Why are you telling me this? ... Half of that again! ... Have you ever felt this way before?

"I'm just talking."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—You can't do everything at once ... Cut back!

"Write a book about all your taxi experiences."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—I'll pay you four dollars an hour.

"Be here now."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Eastern philosophy: Be in the present. Western philosophy: Open the present ... The trouble isn't that people aren't conscious ... They don't know how to connect up with it ... They think it's about running around a mountain with little fur hats ... They want to be better than other people and know things other people don't know ... You're good already ... So you don't have to try to be good ... Try harder to be bad ... (You can't be good – You can pretend to be good.) ... You could look at the birch trees and feel sorrow ... You could be like a Russian ... What's inside? ... I don't see life as a gurgling raging thing to share with anybody ... Just be as good a person as you can, and help everyone you can ... Jump up and grab the little toe of God ... Before you jump, you should say, "Good-bye, cruel world!" ... Are you a bird or a person? ... And the answer is?

"I like sitting next to you, Sean – It makes me look so tough."

—Not entirely.

—Uh-oh – Poison Jell-O ... You're going to give us bad dreams.

"You're not an asshole, Mark – You're just trying so hard to be."

—Not entirely.

—Murder, by itself, is not a federal crime.

"I'll send you flowers."

—Very nice.

—Make holes in water.

"Recovery programs are for losers."

—Not entirely.

—The dumb ones have no trouble ... It's easy for them to adapt ... You can get used and unused to things very fast ... Emotions are so untidy ... I'm not in trouble, I'm just a kid! ... Who knows what's going on and I don't want to have anything to do with it ... I don't want to get mixed up in it ... No one comes with a bow and arrow and shoots people ... No one invents radium, either ... It's deliberation, they call it ... I'm so sorry! ... I left you high and dry ... Your money's no good here ... Are you hungry?

"Good luck with your theory."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—C Sharp Major with a Dominant G ... Maybe it'll be nice.

[Half-baked and ill-formed questions]

—Not entirely.

Tense and critical? Wait. ... Do things from relaxation and kindness ... Do everything from relaxation and kindness ... That's a huge experience ... No one can learn that in school.

"Answer YES OR NO! Just YES OR NO!"

—Even before. Leisurely.

That's a lot of juice ... Refusing orders ... I had no choice ... I am a school dropout and have no skills ... Like a dark cloud? ... Don't kid yourself ... You don't have any parents ... You can put anything you want in ... That's my hint to you ... How come you're so smart? ... Answer the question, Yes or No, Did it hurt yesterday when I beat you up? ... They were very smart in the old days ... You have to ask every time ... So continue, I'm listening.

"I need an education; I just don't want one."

—Even before. Leisurely.

FuBuTuBe – "For us, By us, Teach us, Big earth!"

"I'll be right with you."

—Very nice.

—Just in time for the holidays.

"You have to make a decision and stick with it."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Sweet are the uses of adversity.

"As Catholics, we propose and invite – We don't proselytize." (–Sister Margaret Mach of the Catholic Cleveland Diocese, on WBZ-AM radio)

—Very nice.

—I was feeling lonely with the bats and the wolves.

"That's funny, but it's very sacrilegious."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—It's up to you what you spend your energy on, and if it isn't, you should make it so – No one can stand between someone and God.

"I know Jesus, and I talk to God."

—Very nice.

—Remember in the Bible when Jesus wanted to play the piano?

"It's your choice – It's up to you."

—Very nice.

—When I was thirteen, I had a choice: to be a preppie or a fighter.

"Good choice."

—Very nice.

—Like a leopard in a tree.

"Somebody lied to you."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—I always see trouble coming.

"Something we could all be better at."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—You hear the jungle drums beating – The natives are getting restless.

"I'm glad the Pope is here showing us there's a God up there watching out for us."

—Very nice.

—Grand Old Delusion bless America!

"Whenever I talk to him, he just always smiles."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Get some comic books to keep you up ... I have other difficulties.

"That's okay – I'll sign your name." [On the taxi receipt]

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Sign me up.

"It wasn't just a one-time thing – That's great!"

—Either way. Be elegant.

—The trick is to just do a little.

"It's a bad sign."

—Even before. Leisurely.


"Are you a native?"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—I don't have enough money to feed my horses ... If we had a horse here, we could feed it carrots! ... And four other places ... Maybe get a pony.

"What sign are you?"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Take a wild guess ... The burnt-out question of our times ... What Dickens called, Our Mutual Friend [Hundred dollar bill] ... Dollar sign, baby, dollar sign!

"What's your sign?"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—You say that in a Church, right? ... Parents from the gutter aspire to the stars ... Two is better than one; get three, get four! ... There used to be millions ... Maybe you should let me decide ... Do you clean out fireplaces, too? ... Close to human ... Make a million ... Make another million ... Get your roof gilded ... I'm not fooling around with it anymore ... To glimpse things as they are ... Open to every curve in the road ... No strings attached ... I'm an extra with a small x ... Domestic parking ... Slippery when wet ... Even the California side? ... Some people go crazy, you know? ... "I dreamed that a fish was taking its clothes off and remained naked." (–Clarice Lispector) ... I think it's better to keep changing ... I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you! ... You can call me anytime ... Deep down we wish for the veil to be lifted, and the boundaries to disappear ... Astrology is a system of institutionalizing someone ... That's all they teach in schools: how to be the same ... Many factors ... Many roads lead to Rome ... There's nothing anyone can do about it – It's just you! ... "An' we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing!" (—Bob Dylan) ... It doesn't matter where you come from, or where you are, if you're smart.

"Just one?"

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Plus tax!

"Will you just take me to the address that I said?"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Can we just hate each other in peace?

"Don't be so negative."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—I don't want to end up like the morons around here.

"Don't be like that."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—I thought you gave up.

"Leave me be! Why are you doing this? What is it you want?"

—Not entirely.

—I'm not pushing it.

"Why won't you be my friend?"

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Let's go by intuition.

"Oh, come on! Don't be like that."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—I just don't know what I'm doing, but you never will ... Your mind has a big stick and pokes you.

«What to do about robotic people»

—Even before. Leisurely.

What to do about robotic people — (1.) Girls: "There's a lot to learn!" (2.) Money: "You didn't give me any money!" (3.) Life: "Get people to be themselves." (4.) Improv: "My mother called it lying."

"Is that what most people do?"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Whatever the task, be it doing your laundry or getting a girlfriend, see that as a cherry in a bottle – Let it go and pay attention to your freedom.

"Be good!"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—What else is there to do?

"That remains to be seen."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Hitch your wagon to a star.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die.

"Are you still working on this?"

—Not entirely.

—That's why you quit – They're just flowers.

"You weren't working today?"

—Not entirely.

—That's a job for someone else.

"I'm glad it's working out for you."

—Very nice.

—It's not that hard.

"So where are you working now?"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—They're always discussing contracts; maybe contracts with the Lord ... Doesn't matter.

"Still working on it?"

—Very nice.

—It's very hard not to do something.

"I really can't talk – I'm working right now."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Hit the trail!

"Are you working for somebody?"

—Not entirely.

—No work, no eat!

"Are you working today?"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—While you were sleeping.

"I'll alert the media."

—Very nice.

—Gather ye rosebuds while you may.

"You just need to be positive all the time."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Okay, nobody smoke, everybody vote, and never get caught on a milk carton!

"Mr. Positive!"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Idle hands do the devil's own work.

"You're an optimist, right?"

—Either way. Be elegant.

—If I even wanted to.

"Even if we just get one new idea, it will be worth it."

—Even before. Leisurely.

True Romance comics.

"Don't be emotional!"

—Either way. Be elegant.

—It depends what you want.

"Should I call the mayor?"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—I'm the one they like to ignore.

"Uh-oh! We wouldn't get along then."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—It's proof I'm not looking for approval.

"He's just a TAXI DRIVER, but he can teach you how to answer to INSULTS. Just don't try to MAKE SENSE." [Link from lampoon of taxi1010 at Alleee and Franc's INSOLITOLOGY]

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Did you have trouble finding a place to park?

"I'll send you an e-mail."

—Very nice.

—Hey! I'm just driving you around – If you want my philosophy, you pay extra! – Write a good one.

"There's an e-mail waiting for you."

—Not entirely.

—If you're important, people will wait.

"She was a little bit offended that you didn't send her an e-mail."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—It's a scandal, isn't it?

"Dear Mr. Hart, Thank you for your e-mail. Your research sounds very interesting indeed. Good luck with it. Sincerely, Stanley Fish."

—Very nice.

—Anything you write in an e-mail is public property; you never know where it's going to go; so be careful what you say.

"Wouldn't it be easier just to take them the long way?"

—Not entirely.

—I'm out of the loop, too – It's three thousand miles away, in Chicago.

"You just write the book – That doesn't mean you have to live from it."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—If it's not that much trouble, forget it!

"Oh, so you just say things that don't make any sense to them?"

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Sooner or later you understand everything.

"You just say things back that don't mean anything."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Sometimes it's a silver arrow, sometimes it's a gold arrow.

"You're just saying things that don't make any sense, like Donald Duck."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—That's all right – I don't understand some things you say, either, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends.

"Make the most of it!"

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Looking up from the railroad tracks!

"You'll be sorry!"

—Either way. Be elegant.

—I'm already sorry.

"I had my taxi blessed by a San Francisco friar."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—I can see why.

"Glad to have helped you."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—What priests do.

"I hear business isn't so good for you over in the city."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—It's only all the time if you have a French girlfriend.

"I hear you're looking for a new house."

—Either way. Be elegant.

—Is it going to be a tragedy if we don't?

"Is the convention still in town?"

—Not entirely.

—They have a master plan.

"God bless you."

—Very nice.

—That's always reassuring.
[Also, Nobody sneezed, Touch wood! No kneeling! and Waste not, want not]

[A child copying everything you say]

—Very nice.

—I used to do that.

"I waited for you."

—Even before. Leisurely.

—Before trouble started.

"You bet!"

—Either way. Be elegant.

—I have another surprise for you.

"God is punishing me, I know."

—Not entirely.

—The long arm of the law.

[A child persistently copying everything you say]

—Even before. Leisurely.

—[Start reciting nice things for the child to learn or to know, such as equations from the multiplication table, passages from the Bible, poetry from Jalálu'ddin Rúmí's Mathnawí, philosophy from Ralph Waldo Emerson, or anything you think is beautiful ...] Eight times seven is fifty-six, nine times nine is eighty-one ... Never give a sucker an even break ... Gather not up treasures here on earth ... Never smarten up a chump ... Eat, drink and be merry! For tomorrow you may die ... A penny saved is a penny earned ... Gather ye rosebuds while you may ... Idle hands do the devil's own work ... What you need to know is very little, but to know that little takes very much ... Lower your expectations; you can only be pleasantly surprised ... Preparation is everything ... Life knows best ... Truth is stranger than fiction ... The truth shall set you free ... A Girl is love, hope, sexual energy ... Be careful what you wish for! ... You can't have yourself if you want someone else ... Everyone has to light their own fire ... "Seek all possible pleasure, and avoid dishonorable pain." Samual Butler, The Way of All Flesh ... Intelligence is the biggest handicap a child can have ... It's fun to have a girlfriend ... Nothing forced is ever beautiful ... If you shoot for the moon, you may just land in a penthouse ... Most people fly AWAY in all directions; a wise person flies FROM all directions ... Turn everything upside-down and you'll see the truth ... All happiness is earned ... Sweet are the uses of adversity ... Hitch your wagon to a star ... When you're near tears, you're near the truth ... We're made of our past – The truth is beyond what you understand ... Play dead, escape from cage ... Happy as the day is long ... The way out (of the cage) is to play dead.
























The Alehouse Doctrine


1. We're wrong.




2. We're assholes for doing it.




3. We've regressed to latency, the age we were before puberty.




4. What is preventing me from liking someone?




5. One of the things is fear.




6. The answer is fear.




7. Fear of what?




8. One of the things is fear of getting closer to someone than I was with anybody else, including my mother.




9. In some ways we had very tricky mothers.




10. It's better to be alone in a room to read than out with tricky mothers.




11. If they're all like tricky mothers, then forget it!




12. Who would I hold hands with?




13. According to our training, we're supposed to look for a tricky mother substitute.




14. By our experience, tricky mother substitutes are a lot of work.




15. It would seem like sex and happiness, but it was more like S & M and clown faces.




16. Putting on a happy mask instead of being truly happy.




17. Two reeds drink from the same stream, one hollow inside, and one was filled with sugar.




18. "Tricky mothers" is hollow; "Holding hands" is filled with sugar.




19. You're being open as opposed to complying with an act.




20. Who's going to hold hands with someone who is navigating for a tricky mother?




21. I'll put myself in the spotlight.




22. When we're locked in the room, we're not only isolating ourselves from a tricky mother (hollow reed), we are also isolating ourselves from holding hands with a nice girl (a reed filled with sugar).




23. Formulation of "Would I hold hands with that girl?" is pure genius because it is being kind to what's isolated and defending it from a tricky mother at the same time. It's really straightforward.




24. To be kind to ourselves.




25. Trying to please a woman, scheming, is trying to please a tricky mother.




26. There is no pleasing a tricky mother.




27. "The Two Reeds" really is, are you feeding a neurosis, or are you feeding what you really are?




28. Turn everything upside down and you will see the truth.




29. To like yourself, don't you have to stop not liking yourself?




30. How do you do that?




31. Do it yourself.




32. I assure you, what you really are is nothing like your parents or anyone else's.




33. Just because a person has a degree doesn't mean they know shit.




34. "Hey! I'm Jack! I saw you from across the room and thought we could hit it off."




35. If you say a line, they know that's all it is ... "My heart is made of stone."




36. They were hurt by something and holed up in their room (when they were eleven).




37. Ask yourself, "Does that person enable me to open up and be myself, or do they employ the parts of me I developed to deal with my parents?"




38. Tell yourself, "I'd rather be marginalized than buttoned-up."




39. At a certain point you can just let it go.








As follows

CODE WORDS: be, believer, bet, blessed, cheers, choice, convention, [copying], decision, e-mail, experiences, flowers, God, [half-baked], hear, helped, [ill-formed], just, mayor, media, most, native, optimist, positive, programs, proselytize, recovery, remains, robotic, sacrilegious, Savior, send, sign, sincerely, site, somebody, theory, tough, waited, working, wouldn't



—Not entirely.