"You want some financial freedom? Go to taxi1010!"

—The treasury for the bad people.

"Don't be so demeaning."

—I didn't know how rich we were ... In spirit!

["I'm going to call the city."] "I am the city."

—That's hard for me to believe.

"You can say that all you want."

—It's so mean, isn't it? ... The idea of it!

"I'm sorry, Sir, I didn't think you could be insulted."

—I wouldn't take that from anyone! – When I'm dead, I'll let you know.

[Someone feeling suicidal] (Urethral sadism -- Feeling angry and powerless, unable to cope with the pain and humiliation of wetting the bed, and believing (1.) the warmth will never return, and (2.) the pain will never stop, they've decided to piss their life away; this intense pain resurfaces in early adolescence, under various inexplicable circumstances having to do with sexuality (outer-directed love towards people who don't even know how to like you, where you came from, or even where they came from; they could care less; if you even try to talk to them about all this, they lie; they'd rather distract themselves with shopping, travel, movies, vacations, politics and cruelty. Oops! That's urethral sadism, too!))

—You're not lacking anything – You just haven't learned a lot ... Any kind of criticism or praise, tell your mind to shut up! ... This is a crisis in your life ... You can change your life in a month ... You can go through an entire life without learning certain things ... Now we're getting professional about this ... Just lower your expectations ... Say, "Shut up, you rats! Don't tell me what to do, or how to do it!" ... It makes you feel secure ... Bring out certain things you feel are hidden ... And that dog is good! ... We can't ask the dog to be gooder! ... "Most of all, [Dr. Maria Trozzi said,] make it very clear to your children that those who took their lives were not very good problem solvers — to put it mildly. 'Ask them,' she suggested, 'Who do you think you can talk to if you have a problem.'" (–Benedict Carey, "Teenage Suicides Bewilder An Island, and the Experts," The New York Times, March 18, 2008) ... Now if you want to Van Gogh your ears, don't show up! (They call them speckled Acht Tungs!) ... I like to have my own life, and let people have their own life.

[Contents for a suicide kit]

—"You'd open it up and find (1.) Three twenty dollar bills, a ten, and two fives; (2.) a really good short-wave radio; (3.) a few Valiums; (4.) five marijuana joints; (5.) The lyrics to the Mexican hit, 'Pussy, pussy, pussy, marijuana!'" (–Deadbeat Paying Job)

"Oh, I'm not photogenic."

—A star! – There's nothing on the web like that! – The colony needs maple syrup – People don't quite understand what a delicate thing it is – If you can see where it goes, you can see where it comes from.

"I saw one of myself which I couldn't hardly stand! – I said, 'This is a terrible photo of me.'"

—You weren't serious about your food – Live slow, die old, and leave a lousy looking corpse!

"Look, I'll make it easy for you." [Interrupting you]

—If this happened a lot it would be a joke.

"I can get out here if you want."

—Maybe I'm wrong.

"Maybe you can go to another stand. I don't need you barking at me, telling me what to do when I'm doing something else now."

—No matter what I do.

"You have borderline personality disorder."

—You realize your parents are full of shit, and your shrinks are on the other side – I'm going to the 254 Room of the Stork Club!

"What was the weather like this weekend?"

—Raincoat weather – It's going to be cold tonight – No cloud cover.

"What's the weather been like the last three weeks?"

—They're always wrong – The weather's always wrong.

"It stopped raining."

—Tomorrow it'll snow.

"Great weather!"

—Prosperity is just around the corner.

"What's the weather been like?"

—I don't really think it means too much. Today is not as bad as yesterday. Tomorrow's going to be even nicer. It's going to get a lot worse, but who cares?

"Well, in my opinion Hitler didn't finish his job – He should have killed all the Jews while he had the chance."

—Very illuminating ... I shoot the rats, put a knife in the vermin, step on the bed bugs, and count my blessings ... You have to get an imagination! ... Ask people within walking distance of your cave, you know?

"Duuhhh!"

—You're smarter than that.

"That's not hard to figure out."

—It's not that deep.

["Can you tell me what row it's in?" (Your taxi)] "Sure I can tell you." [Turning their back on you]

—What happened to me? I'm beginning to feel insecure.

"Go figure."

—It's just another thing.

"Do birds fly? Do fish swim?"

—How did THAT happen?

"I'll let you know."

—Otherwise, you'd be dead or in prison.

"I'll be waiting for you when school is over."

—As if something terrible is going on that's never gone on before.

"I'll see you tonight."

—As you like.

"I'll wait then, because I don't have to get to work until ten."

—Shoot monkeys when they walk by.

"At least now when I call you a bitch, I'll know what you look like."

—Far worse!

"You have to curb your wheels or I'll give you a ticket."

—I don't have anything else to do.

"Don't trust nobody."

—What can you do?

"I don't know if I can trust you."

—Life is a two-way street, as they say in Chicago.

"You can do the dishes." [You're their guest]

—What did you eat?

"Don't trust him!"

—I'd rather work with Buddha.

"You admitted you failed to follow NYPD regulations, so why should we trust you now?"

—Boy, do you learn fast in those places – I'm just telling you the lowdown – See where it goes, and then you can see where it's coming from.

"Has your cum ever dribbled and you wish it had shot out?"

—I'm old-fashioned.

"Taxi drivers can use this."

—People can have ideas.

"There it is — proof of something or other."

—They don't have to live in the mire.

"Let me tell you why I'm skeptical."

—Think big.

[Self attack]

—So you'll have to change "I like your doilies!" to "I like my doilies!" – If you know how to turn it off, you can turn it on.

["Let's go away for the weekend."] "I can't ... You can take Kitty!" [Her imaginary friend]

—Whenever you want.

"It's nice work if you can get it."

—When two hearts beat as one.

"Nice work if you can get it."

—Well, lets hope there's no crash.

"I can do whatever the fuck I want!"

—We want you to make lots and lots of money!

"No one could ever love you like I do."

—She destroys them — Then she cures them.

"I could never respect a man who kisses and tells."

—Maybe we can go on an earthquake hunt.

[Teenager leaving his socks strewn about the living room]

—Where's my man?

"You're a murderer!" [Palestinian to a Jew]

—God is going to take care of the whole place.

"The other driver let people off! Use your head, bimbo!"

—That's the best I can do — Sorry!

"Bigger is better, right Pat?" "Pat says, 'I don't think he heard you.'" [Conversation in an office for you to overhear]

—Everyone gets blamed.

"She says you're a slow bartender."

—Maybe that's safe, you know?

"We don't like your kind."

—It's retro; it's elitist.

"Dude, he just called you a pussy! You gonna take that?"

—The endless anger.

"My friend over there says you're a jerk."

—Really perplexed ... Don't kid yourself.

"I went over to Mike and Annie's — I cooked."

—Grace is something that calls on you — You can't create it.

"Can you prove that it wasn't?" [The will of God, or divine retribution]

—They also are served, who sit and lynch niggers.

[Your dog's saying,] "Screw you!"

—God knows what else.

[Your dog's saying,] "Yes, master!"

—Not that it matters.

[Someone turning their back to you on a barstool]

—It's the left-behinds – He broke his mother's heart – He went into the refrigerator business.

[Someone talking to you with their back turned]

—Fixated — It's called revolving around a hard place.

"I love books!"

—These are spiffy two-tones!

"You know, Richard, they have whole books on that."

—You should read, "Self-Reliance" by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

"I like bigger books because you get more for your money."

—That's all you see from the air, is farms ... millions of little farms.

"I read 'em and I toss 'em."

—Well, the older you get, the faster things go.

"You could be the President's chauffeur."

—The romance of poverty.

"Why not? I am actually trying to help you here. I am trying to be kind."

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"What kind of writer are you?"

—It's like a genii in a bottle, and sooner or later you pull the plug and your whole life will change.

"What kind of pig are you?"

—The GOOD kind.

"What kind of asshole question is that?"

—An AUTHENTIC question.

"I feel sort of sorry for you."

—Great expectations.

[Someone giving you a check that bounces]

—Only one more.

"Do you know about Google?"

—You have no idea how advanced you are.

"What did Tolstoy say?"

—Keep the door open.

"Maybe this'll help."

—Put a broom on top — I'll get it on my way back.

"Can I tell you what's wrong with you?"

—Please don't! ... That really isn't very fair, is it?

"I have an announcement! The children are coming to our house every Christmas!"

—That's making a spectacle of yourself.

"I've decided to leave the old house you you, and the diamonds to your sister."

—Not everyone is clever; not everyone is smart.

"You have to apply yourself."

—So that's your secret!

"I am going to be a seal for Halloween."

—Have a cookie!

"Are you still here? It's ten minutes to nine."

—Ever hear of a vacation?

"Tell the guys I said hello!" [Your dogs]

—It's not the same.

"Thanks for wasting our time."

—So are you.

"I don't want to see you anymore."

—Aren't I lucky to be a wreck?

"There's a missing gap."

—A low-rent worldliness.

"I don't want to be married anymore."

—You have more fun.