Theory of

Taunts, Insults or Attacks

Codewords Inside Aggressive "Tricks"

"Wings" to Fly
Back to Yourself


Six Choices

Essays | Art

Street Smarts

Presskit | Publicity



Site Map

Kids' Pages


The Way Out





Patient refers to it as stargate-six-two

A Blowhard.2






—Thank goodness!

Not in my book.

—Front and center.

—I've heard. It's all overrated.




A Toilet in the Clouds — Their fear of their mother and father has taken them over – Whatever you're doing is no good, and whatever they're doing is good – No matter what you're doing, it's shit; why, you could be doing what they're doing!





[backhanded compliments] They offer false acceptance with snide remarks and backhanded compliments - It feels like you're being deflated by oblique or roundabout compliments that are really insults, not-so-cleverly disguised - Totally ignoring your side of things, they're just trying to ruin your fun - What you do is what's good for you, not what someone else says is good.

The Age of Detachment, ages 16-19




Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.




"Well, a part of it is the danger."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—You mean there's something about Upper Class? ... It is the worst collection of rats there ever is.

[Long-winded bullshit]

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Time is fleeting.

"You have your opinion and I have my opinion."

Not in my book.

—Where were YOU in the war?

"Is that your personal opinion?"

Not in my book.

—Who else, in the midst of all this clamor?

"Did we ask for your opinion?"

Not in my book.

—Well, you could try the Internet.

"How can you pay attention to your passengers and drive at the same time?"

—Front and center.

—That's why people stop smoking eventually.

"Now you don't have to pay attention to anything they say." [The critics]

—Thank goodness!

—There's always a twin behind the curtain.

"What does Mr. Clinton think about it?" [Student to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton at a question-and-answer session in the Democratic Republic of Congo]

Not in my book.

Who's paying you?

"We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community ... Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping." [Spokesman for the North Korean Foreign Ministry, referring to Hillary Clinton]

—Front and center.

Isn't that amazing? ... They just can't resist ... They're into bribing, and they don't understand that not everyone does that.

"And we remember Earl Scruggs to this day; whereas the Kingston Trio had one or two hits and that's it." [Snide comment by commentator on National Public Radio]

—Front and center.

—Yes, it's before your time.

"I think what we're saying is, there's no boundaries for assholes."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Upon meeting someone for the first time, approach with very low expectations, sense your lower abdomen, and adhere to beauty inside yourself ... Quiet your mind and Listen to the other's narrative, even if it sounds as crazy as, "No one ever heard of a third of a bird!"

"You don't have to be in a group to be happy."

—Thank goodness!

—We'll just be living in a jungle of orange trees.

"You teach yourselves the law. I train your minds. You come in here with a skull full of mush, and if you survive, you'll leave thinking like a lawyer." (–Professor Charles W. Kingsfield Jr., The Paper Chase, 1973)

—Thank goodness!

—What do you do when this happens? ... (Shock and awe: Mental castration ... "Fix" is the right word, too ... They say things to shock or frighten you ... "You don't ever say, I don't even know how to drive, do you?" ... The ones who don't know what they're doing are worse than the ones who know ... "I can read, you know?" ... There's no motivation behind it ... They don't even know it ... —You scared me, now I'll scare you. ... They ask questions that nobody could know the answer to ... They scare people ... If people are scared, they'll do what you tell them ... "Anybody, I don't know ... One thing at a time." ... Ninety percent of the people on earth don't believe in God, and anybody who says they don't believe in God is killed ... —I'm not putting up with this shit.)

"Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck ... It's divisive, negative, shameful and wrong." (–Rick Davis, campaign manager for Senator John McCain)

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—I'm not afraid of you – You're just a pack of cards.

"I found this website and it has many many many twists and turns. It is one guy's way of helping those who cannot or will not respond to verbal barbs. It is most interesting and very crazy!!!" [Link from ENGL 5365 Class WebBoard, March 29, 2008, Texas Tech University]

Not in my book.

—That's called bleeding ... When is it black? (When your soul hurts, right?)

"The graphics are a little crazier as your click through the many links; however, the words used and the advice and discussion is even more interesting. Give it a try!"

—Thank goodness!

—But you never know with these kooks.

"You're likeable enough." [Barack Obama to Hillary Clinton]

—Thank goodness!

—Isn't that gilding the lily? ... Not in Berkeley!

"If I'm gonna say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot." (–Ann Coulter, on ABC's Good Morning America, June 25, 2007)

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Once in a while I kick old ladies, and one leg is good enough for that.

"Now you get the broken meter." [Referring to the tiny note on your parking meter ... after you've pulled ahead to give them a parking space]

—Thank goodness!

—Because you're not making any money! ... Hold on to your cash, and stay out of trouble ... Life is easier than you think.

"Now you don't have to feed it anymore." [After your dog died]

—Thank goodness!

—I'll give you some ... and what about dog meat?

«Best verbal defence»

Not in my book.

—Art is not democratic ... I'm a class hero ... Red, yellow, blue, grey, bumblebee.

"Attack is the best method of defence. What kind of dreams would help, and can I programme them in advance?"

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—That's someone living in a cave in the ground like an animal.

"Why is bullying and insulting a problem?"

Not in my book.

—Force is of no value – It's the right touch.

"You can do web animation or web development." [... instead of driving a taxicab and working on this website]

—Thank goodness!

—It's a lot easier than putting it in boxes! ... They call that ... (What do they call that?) ... instant gratification!

"non escalating verbal self defense, fucked. Yes it is, very. One of the more interesting aspects of this juggernaut is the ability of its children to form complex singular variables when confronted. Aside from this fact there is very little to support the topics contained herein."

Not in my book.

—It's hard to do it when you laugh.

"If you want to lose weight, go biking!" [From out of the blue, someone going off on a tangent]

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Who wants to be at home? [These people are on another planet; to them, Pretending you're happy! is mental health]

"Oh, then you just do this to support yourself."

Not in my book.

—I don't think the job is so important – It's what you understand that's important.

"What are you going to do today to show your support?"

Not in my book.

—Don't tell anyone.

"I hate talking to myself – it's like making love to a corpse."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—It's way in back ... a mystery lover ... especially if you think you're bad.

"What does the Bible say about verbal abuse?"

Not in my book.

—Very few know how to or want to be friendly.

"Are you saying I'm like that?"

Not in my book.

—No, no, no, you can't put that on me – I didn't say that – Not by a long shot – If that's what you really think, you have to think it over – Now it's more insidious and worse – Solid gold – A few old movies.

"Reading is such a waste of time."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—"Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men." (–Romans 12:16-17)

"Why do you worship the devil?"

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—It's just common sense to worship the devil because God will forgive you.

"Don't you have any influence?"

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—"Obey the voice within – it commands us to give of ourselves and help others. As long as we have the capacity to give, we are alive." (–Actor Kirk Douglas)

"Business must be pretty good if you're sitting here reading something."

Not in my book.

—You could look at the birch trees and feel sorrow – You could be like a Russian.

"With all this rain, you taxi drivers must be doing pretty good."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—You win the prize!

"You must be like a kid at a candy store."

Not in my book.

—I think it's better to have the open space.

"What's going to be in the cave?"

Not in my book.

—You can begin to understand a lot in one little thing.

"It must get awfully lonely in that cave."

Not in my book.

—This way to escape the tsunami!

"I wish I could sing – I wish I could draw."

Not in my book.

—Half of it is having a really nice life.

"I wish I could take my dog on a walk like that." [Without a leash]

Not in my book.

—I think in China and in India they caught on, if you pay people, they can do a lot.

["A wind chime!"] "I wish I could change it." [Cell phone chime]

Not in my book.

—How much can someone do?

["I'm the king of late charges!"] "You wish!"

—Thank goodness!

—Duke, maybe.

"Not every attack on us deserves a response. It could be no response. That's a strategy. It could be mild, medium or spicy, depending on what our needs are." (–Brian Lewis, Fox News) [From "Beware when Fox News wishes you well – Choice words from channel's p.r. department aren't exactly kind," David Bauder, AP Television Writer, July 21, 2006]

Not in my book.

—It's easy to do ... You'll have to give up accounting.

"I could have put a dead raccoon on the air this year and got a better rating than last year." (–Roger Ailes, Fox News) [Dismissing Paula Zahn's ratings increases while at Fox as a reflection of the network's overall growth]

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—It's not the same ... Just hold your breath.

"Because of his personal demons, Keith has imploded everywhere he's worked. From lashing out at co-workers to personally attacking Bill O'Reilly and all things Fox, it's obvious Keith is a train wreck waiting to happen. And like all train wrecks, people might tune in out of morbid curiosity, but they eventually tune out, as evidenced by Keith's recent ratings decline. In the meantime, we hope he enjoys his paranoid view from the bottom of the ratings ladder and wish him well on his inevitable trip to oblivion." (–Irena Briganti, Fox News)

—Thank goodness!

—I'm sorry – I burned a hole ... Your unconscious knows exactly what you're doing.

"Ted is understandably bitter having lost his ratings, his network and now his mind. We wish him well." (–Irena Briganti, Fox News)

—Thank goodness!

—Let's leave it the way it is – It's different channels.

"We are disappointed that George has chosen to hurt Mr. O'Reilly's family in order to promote his movie, ... but it's obvious he needs publicity considering his recent string of failures. We wish him well in his struggle to regain relevancy." (–Paul Schur, Fox News)

—Thank goodness!

—Never do anything the way other people do it ... In the middle of town all you hear is Clink! Clink! Clink!

"We can understand David's disappointment in being let go by Fox News Channel, but he's too young to be so bitter. We wish him well in getting his career back on track." (–Irena Briganti, Fox News)

—Thank goodness!

—It's going to be nice ... Because you're like Daisy Duck?

"Tim's sour grapes are obvious here, but at least he's not using his father as a prop to sell books this time around. That said, we wish him well on his latest self-promotion tour." (–Paul Schur, Fox News)

—Thank goodness!

—I don't want it polished ... Try anything – See what you like – They're your tools.

"We wish CNN well in their annual executive shuffle." (–Irena Briganti, Fox News)

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—I'm totally prepared for having a bad child ... She's into power, isn't she?

"We wish Jon well in his battle for second place with MSNBC." (–Irena Briganti, Fox News)

Not in my book.

—Civilizations collapse because people are dumb; as long as people are crooks, we'll do good ... Whoa! That works good, doesn't it?

"Is your code perfect? Are you perfect? If not, you should shut up and support this effort."

Not in my book.

—What about writing your name?

"How Tommy Lee Jones of you, David."

—Front and center.

—Way below.

"Another day, another fifty cents."

Not in my book.

—Probably because most people can't count.

"That's your responsibility!"

—Front and center.

—Don't lose control!

"Having a dog is a big responsibility."

—Front and center.

—It'll be a lot at first and then it'll be nothing.

"It's about time you did such a nice job of cleaning your room. That's good; why can't you do that more often?"

—Front and center.

—Like a fortress – hundreds of rooms!

"Donna, you're a good person, I don't care what all the other people say."

—Thank goodness!

—One of these wise guys ... Quit big leaguing me!

"I don't care what people say, I like your sermons."

—Thank goodness!

—There are times I feel like killing you.

"You always find something to fill up the time."

Not in my book.

—They used to call them, "old chestnuts."

"You gotta get 'im! Don't let him talk to you like that!"

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

The Prayer of Faith ¶13 Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. 14 Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (–James 5: 13-16)

"I'm so confused – Will you fill me in?"

Not in my book.

—All you have to do is stick to your wish to live.

"" [Post by beemo at 2003-01-07 09:04:10] "I'm not clicking on it so tell me what it is." [Post by me_ at 2003-01-07 09:05:20]

Not in my book.

—It's a site dealing with how to turn a bad situation around; it isn't porn; it's basically constructive comebacks to insulting situations. [Post by megapupils at 2003-01-07 10:02:20]

"It's such a nice day." [Sarcastically]

—Front and center.

—It still is.

"It's good medicine for diarrhea, right, Richard?"

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—It's pretty tough carrying a 75-pound toilet around.

"If you hate your father too much, you get toenail fungus, right, Richard?"

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Everything is good if you're alive.

"What are they supposed to be, frogs?"

Not in my book.

—You poor little girl – that the best you can do? Have a brick house on the grass when you could have a toilet in the clouds?

"It's tragic."

—Front and center.

—It is.

"Your timing – Impeccable."

—Front and center.

—Easy does it.

"I think people who act like that are stupid assholes!"

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Just like ghosts in a snowstorm.

"I know where it is I want to go – I'm just having a hard time telling you."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—All's well that ends well.

"Mr. Brooks, you gotta to go with the flow, man!"

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—I'd like to look over the business plan.

"You shouldn't have plans – They impede your connection to the flow of life."

Not in my book.

—The track is not what's important – the train is.

"That's not what Dino is saying."

—Thank goodness!

—That would really help me.

"You're not a genius – What you do is merely adequate."

—Thank goodness!

—They're cutting corners.

"That's adequate."

—Thank goodness!

—Let us be nice to people while they are alive.

"I don't understand what you're saying! I don't understand what you're saying to me!"

Not in my book.

—Forget about the past – It wasn't your fault.


—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—You're dealing with millions of combinations, and they all shift.

"I don't like what you're saying."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Try – Don't torture yourself!

"It must be depressing to go through life with no purpose."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Oh, that might have worked in prison, but it's not going to work out here in the real world.

"I don't want to hear your side of it."

—Thank goodness!

—It's all right to be stupid.

"Good effort."

—Thank goodness!

—Looks like I'm breaking the ice.

"There's no such thing as magic."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—Well, I'll look into it.

"You must be very talented."

Not in my book.

—It's an effort to get back to what you were – Children are very hopeful of life – They see life as a helper.

"The sex was great, not the greatest, but good enough."

—Thank goodness!

—The guy is just a natural, isn't he?

"You're such a creep."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

—So are you, and so are your parents!

























My sister Amoret's and my great grandfather started the Camp Fire Girls and later helped devise the logo for the YMCA in New York City. He transformed "Work, Health & Love" to "Mind, Body & Spirit." Perhaps he was a Sufi, or hidden teacher. Today he might go even farther, and say "precise Knowledge, combined with personal Experience, heals people over time, through Understanding." The triangle is a symbol for individuality, and through real efforts, a way to realize something inside yourself, through the split plumes rising alongside a gate beyond anyone's imagination. [Near the right side back of your neck]




Backhanded Compliments

To be at the mercy of people
who don't even see you —
who invalidate your existence —
is frightening.

They never give approval —
they just give lightning disapproval,
and get enormous ass-kissing —
that's the way they were trained.

They don't even know
they don't know how to think.

It upsets the apple cart.




















































September 19, 2011


"Bucketloads of crazy"
by aberendzen, September 19, 2011
(Amy's Technology and Rhetoric Blog)

Keeping with the theme of last week's post, I started thinking about digital texts that are not new media texts. At first, I thought simple. Scanning a page from a traditional written work and presenting it on a computer screen, for instance, is obviously not a new media text despite its use of new(ish) technology. Then, I started to think about digital-born multimedia texts that also should not be considered new media texts.

One example that came to mind is This website, which is updated daily, makes use of many digital media elements like motion graphics, hyperlinks, non-linearity, and various color themes. It is my opinion, however, that this website misuses these elements in the most extreme ways. Taxi1010 has a scattered and impossible to comprehend navigational design, surpassing simple non-linearity into anarchy. Its hyperlinks appear random; there is little indication of where they will lead. Hyperlinks also often lead to pages that do not link back to other pages of the website. Text colors seem random and sometimes indicates hyperlinks but other times doesn't. Text justification changes frequently, confusing the viewer and straining the eye. And, text is often lengthy, forcing readers to scroll constantly.

To me, Taxi1010 represents an incoherent perversion of the standard elements found in most digital text and websites. And, in many ways, it illustrates (and exaggerates) the (irrational) fears that many educators have about the harmful effects of new digital literacies on student composition.

It is important to note that while I find this website to be disjointed and unintelligible, other people may feel differently. See reviews from below.

Review 1: "okay, this looks like schizoid mumbling but maybe there's something of worth here?, but it's organized in such an insane way that it probably only makes sense to the person who made it."

Review 2: "There is bucketloads of crazy on that site."

Review 3: "one of my favorite places (non-political) on the webbernet"

Hi aberendzen,
—It hasn't helped you out in any way I can see.


June 17, 2011


Dear Richard, I was wondering what reply you think is suitable for this: "I'd ask you out if you had a more respectable job." A friend overheard this being said to one of his coworkers by a guest. Best, –D.

Your contribution is folded into Stargate31.

Thanks a million! Best always, –Richard.


May 16, 2011


Hi Richard, Greetings from England! Your site really helped me although I've not read it in years, I've just found it again and am brushing up on my verbal self-defence (and everything else it offers). One thought that stuck with me and really helped was the "give them a few days and they'll end up shooting themselves in the foot" or something to that effect. It has stuck with me and it's a useful thing to think when someone is being mean - the idea that I'm not the only one they're doing this to, and they'll soon run into a wall themselves. As I've not read it for awhile I'm just getting used to the expressions again, it's fun! Again, thanks. –Dan.

Hi Dan, What's useful for me is the idea that you're not supposed to say or do something -- You're supposed to occupy a space. The whole trouble is, other people – individually, in posses, in tribes, or in whole societies – can take you over. The vivifying idea is to replace whatever they've inserted into your mind, or psyche, with something you decide to put there. It's like a quick, temporary bandage, giving the deepest parts of yourself time, space, and opportunity to heal. And by deep, I mean the part of you that dreams at night. That's your self, and no one – or no institution – has the right to dislodge it. –Richard.


May 2, 2011


The other day my 8-year-old son was on the playground and a group of boys took a young girl's jacket and were taunting her, "I got your jacket, ha ha..." The kids watching sensed there was going to be trouble. But then the girl said in a motherly tone, "Okay, have it back by 7." The boys were in shock and dropped the jacket right then and didn't mess with her after that. –Anon.

Your contribution is folded into Stargate02.

Thanks a million! Best always, –Richard.


July 25, 2009


3rd Reply at Bullying Support Group:

"Examine this site: It's sort of "intellectual" but made for young adults. It helps you examine the "power" part of the sentence made by the bully/antagonizer and offers clever comebacks that do not insult, but confuse the attackers. Thus, such words help deliver you from a "bad moment" while silencing your attacker. It takes some practice, but it's fun, actually to work on them." –Bisoux.

And some of those "bad moments," which are actually almost unfathomably terrible moments, are now at our stargate83. "Snickering" will go somewhere else. The big thing is to keep your attention on something. That's the work. The more you do something, bite your nails, suck your thumb, cutting, it sets up an irritation, and you have to do those things to soothe them. People hold onto anger because they don't want to bestow it as a gift – the warmth of anger! – They have deeper ways to hate people. Best always, –Richard.


March 19, 2008

... COMMENTS at Nick Pagan: Fundamental Insights Into Better Living

...  Dealing with Public Conflict ...

# do you visit this site? it is out-there, fun, confusing and deeply spiritual.

# For years many people thought I was gay because they could see (somehow) that I had been sexually abused as a two-year-old boy. I was totally mystified by these attacks, because I didn't know what I had buried. What I had buried had nothing to do with me; it had rather to do with what had been done to me, and the concerted efforts of adults to keep the abuse hidden, even from me. Freedom came from learning to defend myself from all kinds of attacks, by using scripts of all shapes and forms, conforming to a general and specific truth in what was said. It's really a catalog of puzzles, each of which has a specific solution, all of which mask simple human aggression. In everyday life, it's handy to know lots of things. Finally, if you're lucky, your inner truths will bubble up. Take time, or time will not be taken. Breath is everything. Best always, –Richard Ames Hart.

# i like the confusion of taxi1010-shakes my brain up-kinda like castaneda's practice of having two people whispering in each of your ears at the same time-you find the spaces between thoughts (between neurons???) richart hart is all heart. his judo is all about bringing a person into my universe and gently getting them out of my way so that they don't hurt themselves. –majik.


December 5, 2007


How d'you like "get a life" as an all-purpose counterattack? – Where would you like to put that? Just visited first time. Apparently you don't wish to collect e-mail addresses, Phew. –Anon.

Don't let people fool you into making things ugly. Think about it. If a two-year-old child goes around saying, "Get a life!" every time it tries to let off steam, it diminishes its own life, because it constantly hears, "Get a life!" Try to understand you have two distinct audiences: Whenever you're saying, "Get a life!" to people in the outside physical world, you're also saying that same thing to an entity deep inside yourself, who is raptly listening. The British have a saying, "Do your worst!" There's some nourishment, hope, and humor in it. You have a choice: to criticize the world through the tunnel-vision of a put-down artist, or to stand up for beauty ... I could say, "Do your worst!" till the day I die. No, we don't collect e-mail addresses, though we are trying to launch, which is probably an even greater invasion of privacy ... Little children running around, laughing, crying out, "Do your worst!"

Thanks a million! Best always, –Richard.


September 5, 2007


Overheard --

Comment (self-deprecating, but intending to be witty): "I hate talking to myself, it's like making love to a corpse."

Insult (faux charm with real venom): "Try thinking about yourself, that way you don't even get the slight pleasure of realization that you're torturing someone else."

What's your diagnosis? Also, do you know of an off-the-wall follow-up that can deflect this particular one? Thanks in advance. –Anon.

Thanks more than a million! Best always, –Richard.


"Try thinking about yourself – that way you don't even get the slight pleasure of realization that you're torturing someone else." [Faux charm, with real venom]

—Really scary!
—Keep your hopes up – Maybe you can torture me yet!

"I hate talking to myself – it's like making love to a corpse."

—I've heard. It's all overrated.
—It's way in back ... a mystery lover ... especially if you think you're bad.

"What's your diagnosis? Also, do you know of an off-the-wall follow-up that can deflect this particular one?"

—Nothing yet.
—You've got the touch ... the magic touch ... It's very interesting what they don't tell you.


June 6, 2007

Whoever you are... Thank you. I think you are a true genius. I was looking for real answers (comebacks).

January 1, 2007

I come back and back and back and i get better so slowly i don't notice

June 20, 2007


I tried some of these comebacks on my husband and I thought for sure he would escalate on "Sure Jack", "Visa Versa" and "So Cruel". But he didn't say a word. These things REALLY work. Thanks again!!! My relationship is improving since I found your website. I study it daily.


February 19, 2007

Why does it hurt more when they attack you? My spiritual partner in chryme

February 20, 2007

As much as I can love Richard Hart, I love Richard Hart! but wait.. I need some of that love.. where did the floor go?


October 26, 2006


Hello Richard, I am 20 from Everett, Wa USA and I love your website. I work at a grocery store as a cashier and a bulk manager. People get mad at the phrase 'slow as molasses' and direct it at me! Sometimes I can't believe the things people say to me. I have been thinking about dreams lately and when someone says something like this to you and you get entangled it is like becoming a character in one of their bad dreams. No longer! taxi1010 is a good dream! –jon.


July 24, 2006

i'd like to suggest this page of Fox News' character assassinations for a "Daily Splash!"

i absolutely adore; it really is woefully underrated and unfairly maligned! [referring to all those who take a sidelong glance at the front page and write you off without a second thought.]

i very much appreciate your work. thank you. regards, -Andrew


December 19, 2005


Thank you for forging the mundane to the insane and returning my mind to the sane! I will study the precepts of your philosophy for some time to come. Be sure of my alliance with your thoughts and feelings for future relationships. Your site alphas a strange reality thats refreshing and true for an old phlegmatic like myself ... Piffling in Florida


November 28, 2005


Living in this stronghold


of dimensional constitution,


I need to wake me up


and pick up where I never began,


to tell myself and everyone else,


that it's all alright.






October 18, 2005


To the owner of, Good day, I recently visited your Site and really liked it. It is very professional, well designed and easy to navigate. The content of your site is also very relevant to the site I manage: Thanks, onlinemarketing –(Team).


October 5, 2005

Hi Richard,
I think
very highly
of your
work, you
have done
a good
thing for
this planet.



May 7, 2005


And this is one of the weirder sites I've come across lately. It advertises itself as a "verbal self-defense" site. The idea seems to be that you can head off confrontations, or even avert a mugging, by spouting completely nonsensical gibberish.

They say: Kiss off!
You reply: Infinitely sad.

They say: What's up babe?
You reply: As if.

They say: Don't play stupid with me!
You reply: Very different.

Get it? No, neither do I. But maybe that's the point. To be counterintuitive, unpredictable, and confusing -- to short-circuit the attacker's wiring for long enough to defuse the situation. Maybe I shoulda tried some of this stuff when that punkass threatened to shoot me back in March.

–Link from a FReaKiN' aMericaN





March 24, 2005


Thanks, BlackLeotardFront; I think this is fascinating, and would love to meet the author. Upon first looking over the site, I had a little frisson of that feeling that I think many of us sometimes experience upon waking up after dreaming — that conviction that one has managed to gain an insight, solve a dilemma, or grasp a process while in the dream state, that seems to swiftly flee the vicinity of the waking mind ... a tantalizing glimpse of "Aha!" At any rate, if any of us were able to actually physically document our thought processes, I think quite a few of us would find their tangible shape to be strange and enlightening ... maybe even disturbing. But seeing this kind of rare glimpse of what is basically "unprocessed" (by which I mean not translated into a standard or typical form) internal logic is kind of exhilarating — a sort of "open-source brain dump," or single-author, mental-medium FilePile. And, in terms of the "playbook" aspect of so many of the suggested responses, I really love the idea of surrealism employed as a functional application ... So, yes — altogether fascinating. posted by –taz, at 5:48 AM PST on March 24 from


March 24, 2005

i like the
design of
site ...
has an

March 31, 2005


My new favorite site! Reminds me of a word I forgot, the english equivalent of which is 'step words,' or those things you wish you would have said as a snappy comeback. Awesome. Anon comment from


Esprit d'escalier or L'esprit de l'escalier, The Spirit of the Staircase. –Richard.


May 15, 2004

What an interesting site. After clicking around for half an hour, I've come to the conclusion that the site is a series of psychological analyses (divided into 352 topics and 12 categories) that seek to explain insults, categorize them, and suggest comebacks. The entire site looks like it's devoted to equipping you for verbal assault. Great site. –BeHereNow, from


January 17, 2005


Body Odor Support : General : Insult Magnets – Fellow insult magnets, I have found something on the web that I believe could help you. It has helped me, but then everybody's not the same. I'm always searching on the internet for anything on dealing with bullies or on handling insults. I think I have found a treasure. This site can seem confusing and if you have any problems with it, let me know and I'll try to help. The point is, I feel so much better and safer in public now and I want you all to experience the same.

This site has a compilation of insults received by people and their responses to the insults or suggested responses. Look down under U, and you'll find "uggh"; under Y, you'll find "yuck". This came from me submitting a letter asking for help with those two words that really hurt me everytime someone yelled them. There's a link that says "From Someone who Smells" where the site creator responded to my letter. His response is weird but his suggestions actually helped me. You will not agree with all the responses but you will get the idea. Each insult is followed by two-word "wings" that are meant to deflect the insult and take away its power to hurt you and meant to confuse the other person and take away their sting. The following phrase, well I don't quite get that part. But the wings do make me feel better.

This explains the site a little more and has comments from other people.

My favorite quote from this site is "When someone attacks you with words, look for something inside yourself that sparkles." And it seems to have helped me find the sparkle within, such that when I leave my house now, I am not scared of insults. I feel ready for the world. Now, it has not solved all of my problems, however it is quite a lot for me to not fear insults. I still fear dealing with people on a daily basis, face-to-face, in ongoing long-term relationships. But this helps with the random day-to-day interactions. Hope I find something to help me with long-term relating. Maybe this will help with that as I read it more and more.

There are articles throughout the site and it is big. I am still making my way around it. But I definitely like it. I hope it helps. And I get laughed at and insulted each time I leave my house. I just look at them with no emotion and I'm not pretending. I just don't care. And I was on the verge of buying a gun, just to have to show to random insulters. This is a huge change.



13, 2004




August 29, 2004

Burgundy Nails and Rose Tattoos. <~@~> A new project comes to me from the undiscovered myriad corners of the Internet ... <~@~> I'm still very much an advocate of . It's provided me with entertainment and, now, led me to an odd yet potentially very beneficial site: . It's something I think I could use to improve myself and ... well ... to be honest, to help build up my defenses passively. Against people who try and take advantage of me, who are evaluating me. I've always wanted to just be able to see through people into their hearts, and some people just are not as transparent as others. Maybe this will give me some insight into that, and be useful to me as an officer ... and as a person trying to avoid repeats of this summer. I sort of want to send this site to other people, too ... so they can improve themselves through it ... but then again, maybe I won't. After all, what would it make them feel? Maybe they'd give less value to what I send them in the future, if they don't like this. Besides ... if I give everything private to the world, what do I have to give someone special to me? Argh. I want to be transparent, world ... but it seems to be getting me nowhere. Back to work, girlie. –Anna


For feedback related to teaching, see
Enigmatic Verbal Self-Defense,
courtesy of Jim, from Buffalo. –Richard.


August 12, 2003


Richard, Here is my idea, by the way this is Jim from Buffalo. As you can tell by the number of posts that I have made I take issue with bullying and mean people. Besides working on an "asbestos farm" I practice the avocation of teaching Tai Chi in community education programs to adults. The school calls them "senior citizens" with the rest being "adults." I can't help but think that a course in "Non-Escalating Verbal Self-Defense" would be a hit. Since I get paid for these classes, I would be happy to make regular [monetary] contributions to Also, I could direct students to the website as it would provide a database and "textbook" as well. The goal of the class would be to learn and practice the responses in a venue much like "role-playing" or "psychodrama." One of the ideas being to enable people to become comfortable with using responses and thus loosen up. A typical class might involve interactions between two people with one role-playing a bully and the other in the role of target. Various responses could then be introduced as the target responds to the bully. All sorts of bullying resources could also be introduced. I have a background in teaching and also did stints in the human services field, crisis services, substance abuse. It would mean that I need your permission to use the responses and other material from the web pages as classwork. So, with your permission may I please use the various responses in a class of this nature? As I said, I would give full credit each and every time for use of the material and would be more than happy to give contributions to for that privilege. I would introduce the concept to the schools this fall and look forward to a starting date probably in Jan. 2004. –Jim.

Sure! Open Pandora's Box! There's certainly enough material at to make classroom games. I'd really try to keep it on the lighter side. "You got a quarter?" —Until recently. Remember, the very people who show up for such a class are often the ones who "unconsciously" bully other people. So  .. in a class filled with "sleepers," don't insult the bullies! Then there are the endless complainers, and people who want to grapple or hang on to something. So, ... I think the idea is to play with words in such a way that classes don't become therapy. Encourage the class to ask essential questions, and not expect answers. See your efforts as gestures towards having a nicer life. Role-playing on a mountaintop can take you to the edge of a cliff (with sleepers) or down slippery slopes (with grapplers). You might want to present such a class as an exploration, from down on the sidewalk, with no firm solutions and no particular axe to grind. A class of questions, not answers. How can a simple fun-loving person make other people feel good about themselves? Why are some people in High School so popular? How can you be fresh to mean people? —Nobody knows. What are some fun things to say when someone says, "What's up?" (—You don't want to go there!) You just have to be careful. Let sleeping dogs lie, and life knows best. Tai Chi is weird, isn't it? Best always, –Richard.

Richard, "Complainers" say: "When I was at Quai Chang Cain's Tai Chi school, we did more 'internal work.'" I say: "—That's ok, —It's good to enjoy yourself." "You have 85 cents?" "—Just yesterday, —It's important to eat well." "Sleepers" say: "You forgot your attendance sheet?" I say: "—You're safe, —Attendance is where the heart is." "Grapplers" say "Jim, what is the sense of teaching Tai Chi? All you'll ever get is kooks." I say, "—Teachers, teach, —All I get is this smile." "What can I expect from a class called, Having a Nice Life, if I have to work with mean people?" "—Don't know, —Having skates however, helps when you ice skate." "You mean we aren't going to become experts at verbal self-defense?" "—Who knows? —I can't get within 10 feet of an ink pad without getting ink on my shirt." "Tai Chi is weird." "—No kidding! —All I got were these hairs in my ears." " is really strange and it is hard to pin down." "—Easy enough, —Just get back on after you fall off." Regards, –Jim.


July 29, 2003


A black Jeep Cherokee beeps its horn at you and your friend as you cross at a corner, a red light is on 20 feet away (it is one of those cross streets near a red light). It is red and other cars are stopping: "What? There's not a red light here ..." and you raise your hands mildly to your hips with the palms up and open at your sides. You do not notice anything peculiar about the car, it has no identification as an official vehicle. A burly police officer exits car in a brusque manner coming around and berating you for crossing. "Come here, come here, there is no red light at this intersection, it is up there." Your friend says: "There is no red light here?" The police officer is still lecturing you as you attempt to continue walking. You make the mistake of asking gently: "Don't cars have to stop and not block the cross street?" Police officer starts to come brusquely around the car again and obviously losing his temper starts bellowing, "What? What did you say?" You realize you are being stalked by Rambo with the authority of the City government behind him, and you say meekly, "I apologize," (for asking a question?) He mounts his chariot and says as he leaves, "You better watch what you say to me." You ask your friend: "What did we say to him?" Your friend and you are both shaken and still wondering what it was exactly that you did say to the officer, because you are really confused. Then you remember there is a picture of the police officer at In the picture he is eating a bug. You look at the statement, "You better watch what you say to me," as a plate of food and examine the (broccoli) -- the word "watch." You look up, "watch" in the database of keywords and get the following: "Watch it man!" [ominously] This is close enough, you decide, and you read on: "'Hostility' In the olden days, if people said certain things, you'd kill them, if you said certain things they'd kill you. That's the world they come from. They have their own country. They think people live in caves and that's it. Psychological age 12-15, the age of insanity. Class - unreal impulses. An obviously Fallacious argument on his part - The Fallacy of Accent - When words are spoken ironically, wrongly stressed or taken out of context, their meaning becomes ambiguous." See picture of this police officer eating a bug on this page, noting the fallacious argument he presented as justification for his aggressive confrontation. Wow, just a made up story right? Nope, it happened at lunch today and my friend and I are still shaken, confused and at the time blamed ourselves for "what we said?" Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and that is why I go to to make sense of these insanities. Shakin' and Bakin' in the City of Good Neighbors, –Anon.

Thanks for your feedback! What fun! I guess, in Buffalo, New York. You and your friend did just the right thing, which was "Very little," and "Not perfect!" Normally it's totally worthwhile to be fresh to mean people, except not to police officers, no matter what anyone thinks or feels. With just a few words, you want to create the effect you are just a working stiff. It's play acting, like a Jedi Knight suddenly transported to a foreign planet. Or with the beep of a horn, becoming a Giant in Gulliver's Travels, with little Martian settlements all over your body. The shortcut (from this page) is "to realize people are living in all different stages of evolution. Cro-Magnons and Babylonians are coexisting with future Spacerians. Different levels." Best always, –Richard.


"Come here, come here, there is no red light at this intersection, it is up there."

—Easy enough.
—It puts a bad day in perspective.

"What? What did you say?" [From a venting police officer]

—Thank you!
—I know it's against the rules.

"You better watch what you say to me." [From a venting police officer]

—You bet!
—As always.


July 21, 2003


Richard, Looking for a response to the office bullies, I realize that "heading off the insult" is not always possible unless, as you said, we are perfect, but "perfect is dead." Often I find nowadays that I consult "Taxi 1010" after the insult has "already arrived." I "know" (feel) that I have been insulted, but I'm just not sure what part of me (feelings) has been hurt. I take the "plate of food" apart and look at each item as a potential insult, I've always managed to figure it out and find "wings" and further responses that I could have used. I file it away for future use. It is not "perfect" (I did not have it ready when the insult was given) but what is? As someone said, "sometimes the most manipulative statements are the ones of which we are least aware." I also find this true of people's "passive-aggressive" physical behavior as well as verbal. For instance, someone who I had to once "confront" (told them to knock off their verbal bully behavior) will engage in "physical insults." The work-world equivalent of pratfalls, or Cosmo Kramer coming in a door, or something they saw on NYPD Blue, etc. For instance, feigning "being startled" when they see me (an office of 100 people). Not "coming in" a door that I am going out, (letting me see them turn away from me and go to another door). Like Sipowicz then, punching the lid on the trash receptacle (when they see me) in the bathroom to put in a soiled paper towel. No easy way to come up with verbal responses to "physical comedy," but you "know" some part of you is being hurt. So, I have repeated their behavior. If they refuse to come in the door and go to the other one, I will mimic their behavior and not go out either, thus coming back around to meet them, surprise. I can do Cosmo Kramer with the best of them when the bully decides to "shudder" as they see me. I don't feel hurt, but it does feel "dumb." Ah, well, "walking a mile in someone else's shoes." Also, don't "punch" the metal lid, it hurts, but opening it right away and letting it slam works fine. I do still follow my parents' advice, however, "If you see someone jump off a bridge, that doesn't mean you have to jump off as well." In a nutshell, if he goes in the trash receptacle, I'm not going in after him. Thanks again for –Jim.

Hi, Jim. What makes me happy is knowing there are solutions to almost anything that can make another person feel bad, no matter how subtle, and that defending what is truly ourselves is more a group activity than ever before. I hardly ever remember anything, except from time to time I'll discover myself saying something "on target." I'm in no hurry. I would suggest you try to be happy in the way Jack Sparrow does, in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Acting like a drunken pirate (on the inside) goes a long way (on the outside). Best always, –Richard.


[Someone feigning "being startled" when they see you, making you out to be a monster]

—Wild, huh?
—It's bad stuff.

[Someone punching the lid on the bathroom trash receptacle (when they see you) to deposit a soiled paper towel]

—If worse comes to worse.

[Someone switching to another doorway when they see you coming]

—Another one!
—It's nicer in a way.

[Physical comedy, boorish pratfalls, or weird mocking behavior]

—Small world.
—The whole world goes past this door.


July 25, 2003


Richard, I finally saw P.O.T.C. and Johnny Depp is a hoot. You are right. I'm not sure if Captain Jack Sparrow is happy, however, or he spent too long in the sun on that deserted island. Even the other characters in the movie talk to each other about why he "sways," "mugs" and makes "strange hand gestures" when they see him. Well, perhaps that is a little too much of what is on the "inside" coming through to the "outside." He must have sunk his soul into rehearsing the role because he is pretty darn good. As someone said, however (humor): "There has never been anyone playing a role like this on screen, there has never been anyone playing a human being like this on screen." All in all, aside from one too many sword fights, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and especially Johnny Depp, who looked like he was channeling Nathan Lane's character in Birdcage. Thanks again, but I don't think he was "drunk," but really being who Captain Jack is :>) –Jim.


May 3, 2003


taxi1010 and alex chiu
after going through that site for over 2 hours, i'm relieved to again see a world where sentences make sense on the surface level and not only on the non-surface level. grammar is so great -- that site is great too, but it's great in the one of the strangest ways i've ever seen. there is a range on it, it varies from crazy to the best advice ever. for example: "There's no such thing as a safe neighborhood, because dangerous people can go anywhere." ... "Well, I decided to turn everything upside down. Why not start with particular insults, especially insults everyone has heard before, and do research on each and every one to find the cure?" ... "People frightened to death of seeing themselves, devote almost all their energy to 'posturing.' When people posture, they unconsciously alter other people's moods. In a way they are saying, 'I feel hurt, angry and confused, so I want to make other people feel hurt, angry and confused.' Some gift! If you don't accept such a gift, who does it go to?" * this site reminds me of alex chiu (, another site which baffled me at first but had much more to it after study. for example: "MY PHILOSOPHY Q. What is the most beautiful thing in life? Answer: Hope." ... "Q. What is the ugliest thing in life? Answer: Give up." ... "Alex Chiu: We only have some testimonials. If I'm not the inventor, I probably would laugh my guts out myself. How a group of chemicals form into a cell. What makes animals crawl, swim, or walk. Why can humans think. Why are there male and female." Must read! * if you're going to go to either of those sites, a cursory glance won't do anything, you need to read everything on those sites to get the full effect. (Rinku Hero's Journal, 5:39 pm Saturday, May 3rd, 2003)


April 11, 2003


I want to say something really genuine that shows how impressed I am with your work. I think if I can master this, I won't need to see my therapist much longer! Your website is a little treasure; and has made a big difference in the quality of my day. Thank You!!! –Anon.


April 10, 2003

Richard, Everything "helps," because that part of me that is hurt is helped by the part of you that hurts. What's not "help" in this treasure of a web site? As you have refrained from saying, because you are being gentle: IT IS ALL GOOD STUFF PEOPLE, JUST BECAUSE YOU "DON'T GET IT" DOESN'T MEAN THERE AIN'T NOTHING TO GET. Here is a guy (Richard) who is not so egotistical as to say "Wow folks, have I got just the thing for you, a website that will magically get rid of all your anger, hurt and frustration." He is wise enough to know that doing that would only make him one of the hoard of "ways" that clamor that they are the "right way." As I'm sure you have read in the Tao Te Ching, Richard, you have taken the most natural tack in designing the website. It is obvious to those who would tarry a while that you are speaking from a facet of yourself that is not concerned with "what it means," or "how to understand" it. That is Wu Wei which will never be open to "understanding" and will always be easier done than said. So folks, I recommend jumping in anywhere and enjoying the time you spend here. The secret is not in "getting it" but in reading what the guy has to say and letting it "reverberate" in your head for awhile. Who knows, one day...a big explosion, ha, ha. Jim


January 28, 2003

Considered rolling your method into an Eliza-like app? Much, much better than a Magic 8-ball. Anon.

I'd have to start making money to do Eliza (or in this case, Electra) justice. Best always, Richard

April 7, 2003


I haven't been able to find a section on your site that gives a rough meaning of some of the sentences which are provocative or insulting. For example, if I say, "I don't watch the news," and my friends burst out laughing, I might guess that I just said,"I don't have sex," but I can't be sure. Does your site have such a section, or is there one that does? I would greatly appreciate it. It would help me to choose appropriate responses, not to mention understand what the hell other people are talking about. –Anon.


People ridicule children and, by extension, the child inside themselves. Putting on airs, they used to call it. They're pretending to be something they're not. You have to realize children aren't stupid. They can see who's friendly or kind to them. The way out is to realize you're just as bad, or even worse than, everyone else. If your friends burst out laughing, you might say, "—Nothing special," and follow it up with "—There's always going to be nincompoops." Best always, Richard


April 4, 2003


I would like to see more comebacks that u could use at school. –Anon.


Okay! Find something you like. Best always, Richard


January 29, 2003

Hello Richard, My recent post to Tim Field's bullyonline support group reminded me of something a bully manager said today. The occasion was at a "mandatory" meeting for employees and subsequent presentation of a dog-and-pony show about victim/witness assistance. I'm sure to show his sensitivity for people who have been victims of "crimes in the Federal workplace," he initially stuck one foot in the door and said: "I think I'll come to the next session, I don't like the cast of characters in here." I said, "—How's that?" He said, sarcastically, "Whhhhaaaaattttt?" mocking my question. I said, "—That's terrible." I can safely say those two words rendered him inarticulate because he could not risk saying the venomous response that I'm sure was lurking at the reptilian brain. My friend said, "Geez, he was p.o.'d." I said, "Yah, being shocked by the truth can render someone inarticulate just the same as lies." Jim


September 27, 2002

This web site is ... peculiar ...
I'm just enchanted, actually ... scratching my head a lot, but enchanted nonetheless ...

Much work went there.

Forum at

December 22, 2002 Your first reaction may be, "What's this site up to, anyway?!" Then you'll see it's humble deep wisdom for "non-escalating verbal self-defense -- how to change the mood when people are mean." Paul Burgess, pastor Mt. Hope Presbyterian Church


December 29, 2002

hi, I think I might be catching on, Great website!!! I will study it a lot more. It's going right into my favorites. Thanks! Kristen


December 22, 2002


This is a wonderful site. I'm impressed I can surf and find something rich with quality - I've never been good with verbal self defense and at times I've needed it more than oxygen. I'm a good person, but I've made lots of enemies because I lock up in situations where I get caught in a bad situation - someone's being rude or trying to use me or completely misrepresenting who I am etc. I've never developed the ability to smooth over a really awkward situation without kicking the house down or walking away from the mortgage. . . . And no one talks about this kind of stuff. Verbal self defense (without succumbing to being an asshole) is educated in the same way sex is - you're supposed to 'know' or 'get' it through instinct. Yeah, right. I really hope you succeed and I hope you stay around for a while. You offer constructive tools that build everyone up and create win-win. You don't just preach it, you show how to build bridges. Thanks. For that, thanks a lot. –Anon.


August 11, 2002


... Excerpt from
Don Juan Discussion Forum ...

... Verbal Combat : How to handle hurtful remarks given by others to bring us down ...

... As it has been said earlier, STOP PLAYING HIS GAME He is tricking you into answering his questions and then using YOUR answers to push YOUR buttons. Your answers should be not what he wants to hear, but something that throws him off. Don't think too much into it.


August 4, 2002

richard hi i just read your piece again - people get ideas - i really love it cheers, <augie>


August 11, 2002

Now I need to thank the guy who showed me the website to [respond to] insults. It really helps! <Icarus>


July 11, 2002


I have been very interested in your work and web site, I am totally "wowed" by it! I plan to buy your book. –John.

Am G Am As soon as you're born they make you feel small By giving you no time instead of it all Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something to be They hurt you at home and they hit you at school They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something to be When they've tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years Then they expect you to pick a career When you can't really function you're so full of fear A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something to be Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV And you think you're so clever and classless and free But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something to be There's room at the top they are telling you still But first you must learn to smile as you kill If you want to be like the folks on the hill A working class hero is something to be Yes a working class hero is something to be If you want to be a hero well just follow me If you want to be a hero well just follow me


June 27, 2002, 11:08 am

... Excerpt from WWW.SENSHIDO.COM Martial Arts forum ...

... More on Keeping a Cool Head When Confronted ...

... I agree, but they hurt you as much as you allow them to do so. In fact, our infancy has a lot to do with the way we handle such maltreatment when we turn into adults. By the way, there's an interesting site that teaches kids some verbal de-escalators (for parents in the forum): Ego and pride are also our enemies sometimes, it's not easy to keep a cool head when confronted by a bully, no matter your age, but as long as you get to understand the mechanics of such threats (keeping safe distance, not allowing him to close, watching his hands, using your deception & defusing skills, and so), may help you play for keeps most of the time. In cases of people who have been abused in their childhood by parents or relatives (and/or bullies at elementary school), then IMHO this kind needs professional help. For some, a few sessions with a therapist might be enough, but some others might require psychiatric help, which might take longer or a lifetime (i.e., schizophrenia). Robin Crowley. Best Luck!


June 14, 2002

Hi, I'm glad I visited your website — the content and art are excellent. Thank you. –Anon.

June 18, 2002


Hi. I love your website!! Are there going to be any workshops in SF anytime soon? Because I would sign up if there were. Thanks, Omar Mirza


June 12, 2002

I had a dream that I was using the information on your site but in a foreign language. Crazy, huh? –Anon.


June 2, 2002


Hi Richard, My name is Catherine. I am 41 and live in Montreal. I work in a pharmaceutical company and it is ruthless! (in terms of verbal attacks) I was like a child, denying the insult, "going along" or reacting "jokingly" or attacking back but always with lots of emotions .... and it has almost ruined my reputation ... I spent a lot of hours on your web site and it has REALLY helped me a lot. I am not reacting emotionally anymore and even though my answers could improve, at least they are better than before. I am also an adept of Gurdjieff and had joined their group for 4 years here in Montreal so I find it very refreshing to find some of his influence through your site. Also, I instinctively can tell that your approach is RIGHT (not attacking back, disarming the attack by taking yourself out of it, then add some humour or "forceful poetry"..) If you ever come to Montreal (we have a great Jazz festival in the summer) .... let me know! my office phone is .... Take care, Catherine


May 30, 2002


Boy Richard: I find myself back at your website. Wow. I think you are a healer with what you and your sister have here. I don't think you'll think I'm a crackpot when I say that, cause you sort of point that way explicitly, in an unexplicit sort of way. What with the tarot and Freud's stages of development (or whatever it's called). I still haven't quite figured it out but it is an excellent source of meditation and perusal. I am sending you $10.00. I don't mean to be cheap. I am trying to buy this beautiful house so I can sit on my little front porch, stare out at the little brook when I am old, and listen to the crickets in the evening after my students have gone home. Take care, Kurt.


February 28, 2002

Just wanted to express how impressed I am with the Informal Fallacy. I find that to be so true!!!! Bravo! Anon.

May 27, 2002


no dream- no idea - just appreciation for the material exposed ... –Anon.


April 2, 2002

Thanks for the great information on the web site! I have always been one of those people who just never have the right comeback to people who are insulting, especially those who try to slide it in covered with sweetness. Either I say nothing at all or I go overboard. Thanks for providing the tools so I can not be a doormat –Anon.


May 21, 2002


I am so glad I know of your website. I've been in the Public Relations business for more than 20 years and am always in need of ways to deal with mean people. It is amazing how painful it can be when the worst offenders are supposedly ON your team! I am getting ready to go to a public meeting tonight and even though there will be hostile activists upset about pollution we caused, the most hostile people I must deal with are my own team members from other agencies and companies. I go to your website for a shot of verbal oxygen. I'm armed, but not dangerous. I'm strong, but not arrogant. I'm afraid, but not cowering. It is a lot that you give me. thank you! –Anonymous Liaison Officer.


May 14, 2002

Mr. Hart. I appreciate all the work you have done so foreigners like me can fight back to once again feel like themselves. Even though I am not very well versed with vocalizing my thoughts at the moment but I find it comforting to know that after practice, I will be able to. I was watching blind date, and the girl attacked the guy with the infamous "are you gay" question. He simply replied with "no", she repeated "so are you gay" only to be answered by another "no, I'm not". Later on she attacked with "are you sure you're not gay" with another weak "no". I have been accused of the same only because I am not interested in everything walking on two legs. I do not like answering their pathetic question of "are you gay" with a no, since it feels like being defeated. Playing around with words gives them power to repeat their question again and again. I was wondering what would the best suitable reply to "Are you Gay" that will leave no room for this question to be asked again. Abdul Ahmad


May 20, 2002

Hi: I like your ideas. Here's what I try to do. I try to match the tone of voice of the other person, as you do. Then I try to take what they say and turn it around slightly. For example, if they say, "Are you a jerk?!" then I say "Am I a jerk?" with mild incredulity and good humor. Good humor is the key to all this. Unless, of course, they've just gone way too far. Then I just repeat what they say either flatly or with a bit of assertiveness. If they say, "Read my lips!" I say "Read your lips." If they say, "You're a !@#$@!!" I say flatly, "I'm a !@#$@!!" They might expect me not to repeat their language because I'm ordinarily a polite woman. Once someone asked me (referring to my thoroughness), "Are you sure that you're not a nun?" I said, "I'm pretty sure that I'm not a nun." I could have added, "Don't they still have to be Catholic? If so, I'm definitely not a nun." I know that I can trust you: you're a taxi driver! –Anon.


May 14, 2002

Hi Abdul. I would say, "Unheard of," in response to "Are you gay?" and follow it up with something like, "I'm about as far away from that as you can get." Check out the following two URL's at «stargate05.htm» «resource/Threats.htm» Finally, you can always use Google to help you, using a search string such as «taxi1010 are you gay» which I did at the following URL: «» Best always, Richard

May 7, 2002


Could you provide good pointers for those on the Autistic Spectrum? This is so we can learn Social/Emotional Intelligence better to camouflage ourselves from would-be abusers, and to find and keep friends and sexual partners? –Anon.

Yes: "An Open Child." Best always, Richard


July 24, 2001


Absolutely hilarious... I've bookmarked your site! (P.S. Sorry for the massive delay. I'm about 950 emails behind, and, I fear, slowly losing the battle!) David Pogue "State of the Art" columnist, the New York Times


April 26, 2001




July 18, 2001


People Being Real - I think driving a taxi does something to a person which you would not receive in another walk of life. It is a profession that changes you profoundly - like being a sailor. My father was a taxi driver. I lived in NYC my whole life and then I came out here and worked as an usher. Living in New York got me used to needful interaction. Working in a service profession showed me people naked and childlike - quite a shock. It is like being a psychiatrist, people know nothing about you but they believe that they understand you via what your role is. It took me a very long time to understand this culture, as I was positioned outside of it, and somehow not successfully indoctrinated. Now that I have had more experience, I know that the bullet missed my skull... It is a great thing, and by that I mean the product (the martial arts site and organization of it) and also the work itself. –Jackie.


March 8, 2001

Richard... Wow.... found taxi1010 via DSR. Poetic science, you practice. Kudos, Toby Thain

July 16, 2001


Your method of organization reminds me of Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino. –Anon.


July 2, 2001

I came to your site totally by accident - or maybe not!? Anyway, I wished I had known about similar techniques (maybe) 25 or 30 years ago. At least I know of you now - they will be helpful against my family and coworkers - and I appreciate the resource (when needed) so I know that I can stand up for myself and that there is ammunition out there. Thanks a million! –Anon.


March 18, 2001

Hello Richard and Amoret, This is a great site! I came across it while doing a search on emotional intelligence. It is the most mind-stimulating and potentially helpful site I have ever come across in the 10 years I've been connected to the Internet. May God bless you both! Susan

June 13, 2001


I was in your taxicab yesterday with a friend who had injured her ankle. Then I read the article on you in the Bay Guardian. Now I've just pulled your card out of my bag and am visiting your site, and I just had to write immediately to tell you what a WONDERFUL place it is! Sage, inventive, gentle, smart---I've got to go to work now but I'll be back! Meantime, thank you for your help yesterday in taking us out to UC Med Center. You were wonderful. :--D


December 14, 2000


there is a boy @ school and he teases me because i am a bit overweight. i cant get him back. can you help? love from sleepless in Australia

Hi Richard, this is Bonnie. I wrote to you about being fat and you put some more things on the website for me. thanks a lot. some of the things that you put on helped and others didn't. Oh, Well. My mum told me to point, laugh then walk off. it worked too. The boy who was annoying me, Matt, is picking on other people now. Thanks a lot. Bye for now. Love bonnie


October 11, 2000

i am going
to be a
seal for

October 20, 2000

Taxi1010 is top flight! I hear a pitter pat in my head unless I sleep with my mouth open. Anon.


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