"St. Louis."

—It's not where you are; it's what's inside you.

"I'm so glad to see you!"

—Just like old times.

"Long time, no see."

—I don't get around much — I like it here or at home.

"Nice to see you."

—It seems limited.

"You look familiar to me."

—I know we have good food, but you can't move in!

"Why didn't go call me? Why didn't you tell me we were staying in the same hotel?"

—The bellhop told me he let you know I was here.

"Do I look familiar to you?"

—You're not just saying that.

"Where did you sneak in?"

—I don't remember.

"There's a hotel for you." [In a sleazy part of town]

—You don't know life at its worst.

"Is that where you hang out after work?"

—It's another slice of life.

"Are you trying to gyp him?"

—Boy, did you miss an opportunity.

"I can put my foot in my mouth, and shoot myself in the foot, but I can't do both at the same time."

—It's nice to have a choice.

"You're cute."

—Just like in the old country.

"That's cute."

—What do you want to kill yourself for?

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't get cute!"

—Without the pockmarks or streaks.

"What are they gonna do?"

—One thing or another.

"Are they allowed to do that?"

—It's not going to kill us.

"How do you like that? Cleveland is in Ohio."

—It just so happens.

"Like watching the Lawrence Welk Show."

—Blowing bubbles.

"You're a broken record."

—I hope it isn't a big hit!

[Someone talking directly to your breasts]

—Not shrewd.

"He's a creep."

—No speed limits.

"How come you're so cute?"

—Take a vacation — That's what I would do.

"Where do you get such pretty clothes?"

—Not a lot at a time.

"How did you get to be such a creep?"

—Not looking at a painting critically – Looking at a painting to find one thing you didn't know.

"How did you get to be so infuriating?"

—People had a lot of fun in the old days.

"How did you get into all of this?"

—Milk and cookies every night.

"Come on inside — I'll show you all my secrets."

—M is for milk, C is for chocolate.

"Follow that guy in a black hooded sweatshirt and make sure he doesn't get in a cab and drive it out of here."

—Another genius of our time.

"Nobody understands themselves."

—Well, let's leave it there.

"It makes me feel horrible."

—Maybe you'll have sandboxes all over your yard – Show me in the sandbox how you feel – Well, isn't it time you didn't believe it?

"It's a shitty job, but somebody's got to do it."

—It's not a game for children.

"Where did you get that shirt?"

—Who can say?

"You could have asked people."

—Beyond comprehension.

"I asked you once."

—If you think we muck around like this all day, you're right!

["They don't cheat at places like Harvard and Yale – They have an honor code." "I know they cheated at Yale, because when I went to college, there were three hundred people in a class – they didn't even know who you were." "Yeah, and at my college, I used to write papers for other people."] "See that, Richard?"

—Why didn't I know that?

"Don't you read the newspapers?"

—That's not a crime, you know.

"You don't have copy and paste?"

—That's the coming thing — I might as well learn that.

"Do you ever watch TV?"

—How much can you remember?

"If you're wearing those sandals to the club, I'm not going."

—Mind of Buddha: wandering mind – From where does wandering arise?

[Someone spitting on your shirt]

—Smart! – Go through the wind – As everyone knows, you just leave them alone and they ruin themselves.

"You look retarded."

—Don't talk to me – My friends will laugh at me.

"You're like a hockey puck that's kind of slow."

—It makes you feel you've been pissing on the wrong tree.

"Look at all those friends sitting around with you — I wonder why."

—Ever popular.

"Is that your one and only friend?"

—It's the rhythm section.

"Cool taxi psychobabble that only a true cab driver can digest. Awesome! Dredge on, dude ...."

—They rent themselves out as frogs, at parties.

"I think you are the only person who defines who you are."

—That means all the gold is ours!

"You picked up a new trick — telling the truth."

—You don't want it to look real, because it isn't real.

"Too bad, I would have loved to see you cry."

—You have no idea how cheesy things are.

"It makes you want to move to Des Moines, doesn't it?"

—I am the master of my fate — I am the captain of my soul.

"How much do they pay you a month for one of those?"

—I'll have my money guy call your money guy – Who's your accountant?

"How are sales these days?"

—Time will tell.

"You live in San Francisco and you've never seen people standing outside a bar smoking pot?"

—Don't get heartbroken.

"Oh, those dogs are so cute!"

—If you think about it, hurricanes are much worse.