"When are you having children?"

—I would think of it as a great blessing.

"Look out for number one, right?"

—And quite a few other people.

"So you don't mind what you do?"

—I do it in different ways.

"Get to the point already – That site was crap [taxi1010.com] – He/she just droned on and on, never getting to the point." [Link from linuxarticles.com]

—It's an assortment, and then there's a table – One at a time.

"That's the point, isn't it?"

—Who feels cheated? – You see another way of life – It's very intricate, you know?

"What's the target age group?"

—It's universal.

"I'm going to make a sales call in Las Vegas – I hear they've got some pussy there."

—I can see the fire – There's a fire in there.

"I guess this is a man's job, huh?"

—I'm going to get another one, right?

"Why don't you just wear a dress to work? You'd sure look cute in one — HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

—Well, it's better than cutting off your thumbs.

"You're not a big guy out here, now, are you?"

—What are you getting out of all this?

"Protect yourself."

—It adds up.

"All right, you gotta look out for yourself."

—Always say, No, you go first!

"So how many times have you been up here?" [Visiting San Francisco]

—One down, three to go.

"How many do you need?" [Abrupt questioning from a salesperson]

—Look at that!

"That has arsenic in it." [Your bottle of water]

—You must have run over a dog today – Pull your own ears.

"Has it been this way?"

—Not every day.

"He has his reasons."

—Oh, it's like a smell.

"Get your ass out of City College – Maybe you can get into a better university."

—The rich kid who loses all his money.

"Like I told you before, you're on your own now."

—Sometimes they need help.

"Everything has to be difficult."

—It's solid.

"Are you through with how many years of law school now?"

—I remain the lead.

"I have so many of these!"

—It's not just that.

"It's a free country but you have to pay for it."

—They've invented something called the mainstream, and anybody who isn't mainstream is a total idiot.

["I've never been to Phoenix."] "You've never been to Phoenix?"

—That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

"I won five hundred dollars in Las Vegas, and they gave me a penthouse suite."

—And where were you?

"It was a lot of fun!"

—Well, of course you are.

"Do you use it a lot?" [Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense]

—It just becomes apparent in a strange way.

"I bet you get a lot of opportunity to use these skills."

—My true talents.

"You must get a lot of that in this business."

—It's the monkey in us.

["I lied."] "You do that a lot, don't you?"

—That's just for smart people or for fancy people.

"Is that your natural hair color?"

—It's a lot of money, but ...

"Your hair looks grey."

—There's nothing wrong with that.

"Your hair is dry and brittle and old."

—I'm from another tribe.

"You're big on children, right?"

—Donald Duck's sister — What a wit! — That's all I know.

"I work all night, and when your children skate on the sidewalk at 3:30 in the afternoon, it wakes me up."

—I talked to the kids, and they told me you scared them! — the lady with a pointy hat on a bicycle with a basket, pedaling furiously down the road.

"Music teachers in schools should show this to the kids!"

—Big news.

"Lytle ought to play it on big plasmas in dance clubs!" [Animusic]

—Pretty special.

"He should sell it to Pixar!"

—To live once, and for real.

"How come it's not interactive?"

—When Santa gives me a box of shit, I punch it!

"Street smarts – Give me a concrete example of that."

—The sidewalk – but on which square of cement?

"So, what's your point?"

—Hopefully there is no point — There's just a nice comfortable chair.

"What's the point?"

—Inside the circle or outside the circle?

"Was there any point in you saying that?"

—Not in my family!

"Oh, dear!"

—Try everything!

"I'm just going to slide my big bouté out this way."

—I'm good even when I don't control myself.

"And you people are supposed to be sensitive and sharp?"

—You ass sniffer!

"Do you come here often?"

—Very warm, generous people.

"What kind of lettuce do you like?" [from a beautiful woman]

—Romaine, butter, and let us leaf the lights on.

"Why is ice so cold?"

—Are you cold?

"That's one possibility."

—One's enough.

"Yeah, but I got to pay more for my computer than you did."

—Anyone does.

"Take my word for it."

—Well, keep trying!

"Now this guy's too good for us."

—It's a tenuous life at best.

"Good for her!"

—Not too bad.

"Good for you!" [Condescendingly]

—What's good for me?

"Whatever works for you."

—Just pick a card; what difference does it make?

"Well, good for you!"

—It's good for anyone.

"That'll be good for you!"

—Totally ridiculous.

"That's good for you!"

—Don't chug out too many credits.

"Why not? She will be glad to go out with you ... Furthermore, you don't have to worry that you will overspend. This girl doesn't go for money. She goes for person."

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"It got too tough for you."

—I must be good for something.

"How much you pay for this car?"

—You get a good deal on this one.

"Are you guys for real?"

—Every question is asked, and every question is answered.

"Do you find it works for you?"

—I'm very good at sneaking stuff into garbage cans.

"I don't know if we should sit here – She has really big hair." [People arriving in an almost empty theater, sitting down right behind you]

—Wait until it starts growing.

"It was so predictable." [As the credits begin to roll, a high-maintenance Brahmin, not too bright, in the row behind you, flipping on her cell phone & critiquing the movie you just saw.]

—You're so smart ... You have to practice in front of a mirror when you get home.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

—We're just in the same warp.

"Today's your special day!"

—All different.

"You are a special friend."

—That's the way people are – It's easier.

"How many tickets?"

—Just look around.

"Are you by yourself?"

—Only me.

"Did you do this all by yourself?"

—Ask around.

"Come on in and try not to ruin everything by being you!"

—Infinitely big.

["My favorite is PayMyBills.com — Do you have a favorite service on the Internet?"] "Not really."

—I've been there.

"Really? I don't believe you."

—That's good, because it shows it's different.

"Really?"

—Just ask.

"I'm going to do some errands."

—What do you want to be in reality for?

"Mary, you know that's total bullshit — It really makes me mad."

—Enough is enough.

"Is that so?"

—Take it from the voice of experience – Living dangerously – Spooky, huh?

"I'm so happy!"

—This is more fun than anyone's had in a long time.

"Cheer up, Richard!"

—Can't resist.

"Dogs bark — If I didn't like dogs, I'd try to get them not to do those things they do naturally."

—The Wilderness Philosopher.

—Thanks for warning me.

"Well, that's easy for you to say—Your mom died and left you a million."

—Some people like it, and some people don't.

"Come on! What are you waiting for?"

—Some people are nice.

"Remember, only one person can win, so please give a big round of applause to our third runner-up (It's you, honey!)"

—Not everyone.

"Still working a lot?"

—Customers come first.

"Are you still here?"

—Even at midnight.

[Street toughs looking for a rabbit to come along]

—He would have bored another hole, but he sold the machine.

"Jackass! Fucking blockhead!"

—Don't say that too loud – You might start a stampede.

"Well, if you say so."

—It's like Boom! — You just say it.

"Okay, if you say so."

—I assure you.

"You're fine — Just checking — To be sure."

—It's endless.

"Make sure you see some things." [On your trip]

—It helps people.

["How are you doing?" "Fine."] "Fine? Are you sure?"

—Do we understand each other then?

["I'm not going to the Prom."] "Sure you are, honey!"

—I know you like telling other people what to do.

"Are you sure I can't bring you more coffee?"

—Just forget it — Don't worry about anything.

"Now you just ruined my day – Tell me something nice before I go."

—Through close observation.

"It's been wonderful and crazy knowing you!"

—Yo, heave, ho! For a life in the sea!

"NOW!"

—Very intelligent, huh?

"Now, now!"

—That is the biggest lesson.

"Are you happy now?"

—I feel I'm going to sing, I'm glad I'm not alive anymore.

"I don't think so."

—Perhaps the whole world is a woman who will always say her butcher block is the wrong color.

"Now you know too much."

—Remember that because I may forget.

"Now you know."

—It just disappears.

"Now what?"

—It almost makes me want to go to Sunday School.

"I'd like to leave you with one thought, but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!"

—Put it on the Internet.