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Codewords Inside Aggressive "Tricks"

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Patient refers to it as stargate-oh-five

A Belittler.1






Before what? 

—Think so? A magnet.

—Just you? Volunteers?

Not quite. Expressly not to. 




Call for Perfection — Shifts attention from the point at issue to an exaggeration of your claims, making your arguments appear ridiculous, and thereby easily overthrown. It's like a stage of childhood they don't let you get through: Being frightened, getting angry.





[bashing & false attribution] - No matter what you say, they have a put-down - When people attack your character, don't explain, don't complain. Get angry.

The Age of Domination, ages 0-3




Exactly what someone said [or did]
... usually not very original.

The thoughts of a "bad child"
... to free your mind again.




"Can I try out your earpods for just forty-five seconds? – I want to test them to see if something's wrong with mine." [Five days later a technician at Apple Computer finds earwax plugging his left earpod – That's what he hadn't looked for or seen – CONTRARY TO WHAT YOUR KINDERGARTEN TEACHER MIGHT HAVE TAUGHT YOU, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHARE!]

—Before what?

You know what? I'm not your guy ... I hope you don't feel too bad ... I don't want to hurt your feelings and I don't think I did ... Everyone has their own way ... Do you clean out fireplaces, too? ... Nothing wrong with it ... Being human ... No deep shame ... I can't ... Its not so easy to do ... Thwarted again! ... Only with crappy stuff and lots of it! ... Hope it doesn't hurt your feelings ... They should have a central clearing house ... Well, I know how you feel – I don't have any money – I go around barefoot ... Now you know how God feels ... Jump up and grab the little toe of God!

"You've got a one-track mind."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Better than the Church! ... Where there was darkness, let there be words ... You're angry at your mother for not feeding you.

"The most important thing in life is having a child."

—Before what?

—Tell it to the Pope! ... They have an expression in Italy: "The Pope is dead, so find another." ... Don't have kids until you can afford a Mexican maid full time ... Monetary shortfalls ... One family's enough ... Anyway, five dollars won't really help us out.

"You guys always have some slick answer."

—Before what?

—If you put your finger on it, it's soup.

"I thought he was a new kind of politician. But instead, his campaign and the people working with him have focused almost exclusively on personal attacks ... It's really disappointing." (–Mitt Romney, referring to ads from an independent super PAC, August 8, 2012)

—Before what?

—Put down the gun. Don't shoot anybody! What are you doing?

"That guy's a fairy." [In passing]

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—What would I do now?

"Do you wear a kilt?"

—Just you? Volunteers?

—It's very authentic.

"Ooo, something for Vogue! – Wearing flip-flops at the airport – You're styled out!"

—Just you? Volunteers?

—What others only dream of.

"I've been looking around that site, and can't understand it for a second. Maybe I'm just a dummy, but seriously, it's making no sense."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Allow your deeper parts to see the light of day.

"Old habits die hard."

—Before what?

—Everything but religion.


—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—No thanks!

"Are you gay?" [From your mother, who's trying to "out" you before she dies]

—Just you? Volunteers?

—That's strange, coming from you ... There's very good old movies ... A totally different person ... As a matter of honor ... I know you don't like it, but that's it.


—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—I'm straight, but I'm not narrow.

"Are you queer?"

—Think so? A magnet.

—I'm a complete stranger – Why would you ask me something like that?

"Are you gay?"

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Didn't your mother tell you not to talk to strangers?

"You must be gay."

—Think so? A magnet.

—There may be competition.

"Tell me the truth – Are you gay?"

—Just you? Volunteers?

Craving power ... That's no good ... Everyone else is anyway ... There's something better ... Don't give me a hard time! ... Don't ask questions! ... I only tell really special people ... Paul Bern was a fairy ... Just charming! ... He died before I was born ... Put up or shut up! ... You have to let someone else take care of the baby ... It's too hard ... If you want to do it, you can ... I'm not missing anything except death ... Everyone thinks they're entitled ... Before anything!

"Definitely a faggot."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—(1.) You bet! ... (2.) Wrong again! ... (3.) Total waste ... (4.) No worse! ... (5.) SCREW THAT!

"So gay!"

—Think so? A magnet.

—(1.) We're safe ... (2.) Try harder! ... (3.) Just unbelievable ... (4.) Something intelligent.

"That's so gay."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—The secret tunnel ... You know, sniffing begins at home.

"Are you one of those faggots?"

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Creepy enough – Now don't bother me anymore!

«Verbal self defense techniques against gay bashers»

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

How so? ... It was that kind of party! ... Give it up, buddy! I like women ... Is sex dirty? If it's done right! ... Language is an orgasm ... Stop! And go-o-o-o-o! ... The ultimate gotcha! ... You don't want to corner people ... Just give people a break, there's a lot in that ... Honor someone ... Who can you hate? ... Life has the potential for being brutal and surprisingly short ... The question is, how do you answer that question? ... I identify with men, not for sex, for strength! ... How lame are you? ... You're treading on dangerous ground ... Do not invest in great piles of manure ... Helping others is the way out ... No illness too big; no nut too small ... I'm a patient, myself ... If you know deep down that everybody feels they don't fit in, you learn kindness ... I choose hell! [rather than suicide] ... It's not for me, and I hate taking messages ... You think you're smart. Well, I'll show you and your dog! ... Does anyone see a big mosquito? ... He'll save the world! ... It's getting down to the bottom of the barrel now ... I don't need pockets, I have a son! ... I cook better food than you can find in any restaurant ... It's between the legs.

"Jane, you ignorant slut!"

—Just you? Volunteers?


"Irish slut!"

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—MISCOMMUNICATION, anyway ... It's just another day in paradise.

"Eww. Slut!"

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—Oh, yeah. Oh, easy.

"You're a slut."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Let's call it very fast-track.

"What are you, a child?"

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—Keep your eye on the sky.

"She looks a lot like my child."

—Think so? A magnet.

—Don't they?

"That looks like a necklace in our family for two generations."

—Think so? A magnet.

—I doubt it.

"Is that my notebook? I have one just like it."

—Think so? A magnet.

—Get out of there!

"When is Broadway going to recognize my incredible dancing skills?"

—Just you? Volunteers?

—A giant mouse.

"If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen."

—Before what?

—Everyone's frustrated.

"Can't take the heat."

—Before what?

—He wants that Soylent Green, man!

"I'm waiting to see what my next medical problem will be."

—Before what?

—Don't hurt yourself.

"I've lived with you a year – I know all about you."

—Before what?

—It's very Latin to be rational in little things and totally irrational in big things.

"Because of all the Blacks voting in Vermont." [Sarcastically]

—Think so? A magnet.

—They'll clear it up sooner or later.

"You are right; we need you to remind us of the weakness of the general methods, but you cannot throw the baby out with the bath water."

—Think so? A magnet.

—If there is one.

"What are you looking so smug about?"

—Before what?

—Don't hurt your head!

"Clueless! Get a clue."

—Before what?

—Every ball of string unravels.

"You really don't have a clue."

—Before what?

—Who do you think you're talking to? Can I talk to someone who treats me with kindness and respect?

"You're like me – totally clueless."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—What about me?

"You're not telling me the truth."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Be specific.

"Here's your special sandwich – That's what we're charging you for."

—Before what?

—What you eat when you're little, you like your whole life ... If you liked it when you were little!

"I knew you were going to say that."

—Before what?

—Want me to say it again? – You'll be right twice.

"You have enough troubles."

—Before what?

—Going on three.

"Enjoy those nuts!" [They taste terrible! – The bag reads, "Best by 2006 FEB," a year earlier]

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—"I wonder what it's like to have squirrels living in your skull." (–Dilbert)

"Excuse me, I was here!"

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—I was, too.

"I DON"T WORK HERE." [Yet they're wearing a company uniform & ID card]

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—What do you think about that, huh?

"You're not from here?"

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—Every year you live, add another year to your life.

"Opposing counsel completely misses the point."

—Before what?

—When you look at things, look at things behind them.

"Some explanations are pointless."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—People know, who are in those circles.

"You've been spending too much time with your vibrator."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—I'm glad you're getting a sense of humor about it.

"Some problems don't have solutions."

—Just you? Volunteers?

Don't read anything ... The Secrets of the Dead ... Each independently?

"If it was natural for people to fly, we would have been born with wings."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—Pink and silver with a little olive on it.

"So here we are, alone at last."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Some things aren't like that.

"Civil rights legislation cannot change men's hearts."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—When people don't do things, it's because they're afraid to.

"You're probably the kind of person who would espouse partial-birth abortion as a form of birth control."

—Before what?

Good God! – That's creative.

"Silence is betrayal."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Take that and run with it!

"The only reason to buy a Prius is so you can drive around like a smug eco-holier-than-thou."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—Just like a cat ... Now, what color is your light? ... Are you a bird or a person?

"Are you really that insecure?"

—Just you? Volunteers?

I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me? ... I don't think it's such a hot thing to be.

"You're so insecure about what I do at my work."

—Think so? A magnet.

—You can't tell what other people are like until you know what you're like.

"You're disturbed."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—Like a father dead in the bathtub with blood all over the place.

"Do you work here?" [Farmer supply store]

—Just you? Volunteers?

—To a point, I'm sure.

"He called us airheads while you were gone."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—It's below that.

"You said all blacks are dumb."

—Think so? A magnet.

—That hurts.

"This is the WASP cover-up."

—Think so? A magnet.

—With no attention, no being.

"Uptight WASP."

—Before what?

—On the cutting edge of mental life.

"How literal."

—Before what?

—See yourself as an entire picture.

"You're too traditional."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—These are just skills – What does that have to do with being a person?

"The world is mine!"

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—The world isn't yours, and it never will be.

"So no more accidents, huh?"

—Think so? A magnet.


"Well, we just want to be kind and supportive."

—Before what?

—Just don't go into Russia.

"And you thought you had troubles."

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—The best answer to a fool is silence.

"Why are you so threatened?"

—Think so? A magnet.

—Some things you're afraid of, some things you're not afraid of – Do experiments.

"Why are you threatened by anyone different from you?"

—Think so? A magnet.

—It's very frustrating to have to castrate yourself to get along with other people.

"So you have your whole life in a safe-deposit box."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Everybody has something to conceal.

"Aren't you a little old to be here?"

—Just you? Volunteers?

—They have a never-ending cage of tests.

"Have you been following me?"

—Not quite. Expressly not to.

—I'm about as far away from that as you can get.

"Little Italy's not too big – It's a small area, right?"

—Before what?

—Where all the good restaurants are.

"You're not a football fan, huh?"

—Before what?

—I don't want to make any predictions.


—Just you? Volunteers?

—I am . . . weirder because of that.

"I think those women have very low self-esteem and the men who read them are degenerate." [Playboys]

—Before what?

—Maybe they'll retire.

"You're all gay!"

—Just you? Volunteers?

—The breeding season is starting.

"She's a real slut! The first guy was fucking her in the pussy; the second guy was fucking her in the ass; just before I broke up with her, she was down at the bottom of my bed licking my asshole; the next guy should think about that before they kiss her!"

—Just you? Volunteers?

—One more thing you have to worry about ... You go from rags to riches! ... Next time you call her, tell her to shit in her cunt and eat it! ... Don't forget your roots ... You got roots, too! ... Excuse me everyone, I have to leave now ... If you don't want to learn anything.

"You guys are going to start the third world war."

—Before what?

—You have to do things for yourself ... yourself and your family.

"I didn't come here to be insulted."

—Just you? Volunteers?

—Good. Most people don't.























16-MAY-1999. On Prejudice: The real prejudice in today's world is against intelligence. It's a great skill to be able to dumb yourself down. In certain circumstances, dumbing yourself down can save your life, for instance, from a violent person who mistakes kindness for weakness. This is no joke. Be very, very careful.







As follows

CODE WORDS: accidents, airheads, bashers, betrayal, blacks, born, charging, child, clue, clueless, definitely, degenerate, disappointing, Disneyland, disturbed, dummy, earpods, espouse, explanations, fairy, flip-flops, following, football, forty-five, gay, generations, guy's, habits, hearts, heat, here, ignorant, incredible, insecure, Italy's, [jostling], kilt, knew, licking, literal, lived, medical, methods, misses, necklace, notebook, one-track, person, queer, safe-deposit box, sandwich, shifty-eyed, slick, slut, sluts, smug, solutions, spinach, styled, supportive, techniques, those, threatened, traditional, troubles, truth, vibrator, vogue, WASP, wins, world



—Just you? Volunteers?