"Inner peace brings world peace – God is love and the infinite, right?"

—Behind that is total slimy kiss-my-ass crap ... In front of that is total ignoring ... Earlier than that is buried childhood traumas and immense suffering ... Over that is a stubborn knot of anger ... Under that is a tangled braid of neglect and desperation ... After that they can't even understand "meaning"; it's the world of gloss ... Avoidance ("God") is what keeps the trauma alive.

"Thank you for this imbroglio of nonsensical jibberish that some Christian on crack is euphemizing as a web site."

—Not dogs!

"Total waste of cyberspace, and my time."

—It's the call of the wild.

"I'd like to learn verbal self defense from someone who is at least coherent."

—Some people can get very creative when it comes to anger.

"You shouldn't smoke."

—Don't knock it! You may want to do that one day ... You might ... Are you the one who is effusing foul emotions? ... Don't inhale! ... When you're not attacking innocent people, what are you doing? ... Goodie two-shoes, one; burning ember, nothing ... You must go crazy roasting marshmallows at a campfire ... Let's call it quits ... Put on a whale suit, pour on a bucket of water ... Hang in there ... Okay, is that enough?

"It's bad for your health, man."

—Look at Joan of Arc – She was smoking until the moment she died.

"Get yourself some help, you apparently need it more than I do."

—The only bad thing about it is, you feel like a wire coat hanger for about half an hour when you wake up.

"Do you have a quarter, Sir?"

—What would you do with six of them, lying on the floor?

"Have you got a cigarette?"

—Don't look!

"Do you smoke?"

—I let mine rise.

"You have a cigarette?"

—There must be oxygen on Mars from that one.

"I have a question for you — Do you spell loser with one O or two O's?"

—Find one.

"Is there an accident up ahead?"

—There's nothing you can do.

"Is there another line for people with a higher IQ?"

—Hate people all you want.

"They just want us out of here — You can't win."

—Next week it's the whole world.

"You can't win."

—Ask my assistant.

"When you're perfect, try walking on water."

—You don't have to be a pond your mother turmoils.

"I know the way to get there." [Irate taxi driver talking to a passenger]

—It's a little removed.

"Would you like fries with your meal?"

—If you come over and feed 'em to me.

"There are no accidents."

—If you know where the dirt is.

"There are no victims."

—You know ... in sheep's clothing.

"There are no mistakes."

—That's what they live by, mistakes.

"Do people want the real or the imaginary?"

—So there!

"Which one do you like better?"

—You can't go wrong.

"Will you take your top off at the beach?"

—With YOU around?

"It's a great place to go topless."

—Some like it white.

"Don't you take anything seriously?"

—That's when they take it off.

"I need to ask you all something — which one is Mohammed? No, seriously — I mean it. I really can't tell which is which."

—Everyone's just as bad as everyone else — except for Mimi — she never bit a dog!

"Do you think I'm the troublemaker?"

—Just wade in.

"I was just being social."

—Maybe it's even deeper.

"If this is a social experiment and he's going to submit a formal paper on it, bravo. If not, he should STFU and drive."

—I don't know why you're telling me these things – I'm just a child.

"Have a good day there."

—I'm not going to ruin it for you.

"Enjoy the show."

—The sequel's called, "Another Part of the Forest."

"No humming!"

—We'll see what we can do.

"You're an oreo! — Black on the outside, white on the inside."

—Everyone's the same — the Irish, the Jews.