"I didn't know you were here!" [Lying]

—How foolish ... We're expected to be superficial.

"I didn't see you over here this morning ... I'm sitting over there."

—I bet it's nice.

"I didn't recognize you."

—How many people get that kind of chance?

"I haven't seen you in a while for lunch – Not coming anymore?"

—Just some ... Just when I'm going on a diet ... Is it expensive?

"When I was young I had no problem with women."

—No one will take big things anymore.

"If they liked you, then you wouldn't like them."

—You're not confused – The channel of energy is confused.

"The day we fear as our last is but the birthplace of eternity." (–Lucian Blaga)

—"My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and become immortal." (–Dilbert)

"I don't love you anymore. I'm not sure I ever did."

—Well, anyways, your sailboat is yare!

"I'm moving out. The kids will understand. They'll want me to be happy."

—The whole class.

"I don't like what you've become."

—It used to take two men to hold one.

"There are times in every relationship when the parties involved need a break."

—Five years, no sex.

"What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?"

—The truth is what is – The truth isn't what your parents are telling you the truth is.

"How can we have a responsible distance?"

—51% sugar and spice, 49% fire and ice – You make lemonade ... It's funny what people like – It's the crumbs ... Maybe you ought to go to "Quilting and the Superego" ... It doesn't matter what you do, is what I'm saying.

«How to defuse an extremely hostile situation» [They take control of you from the back seat, and you let them, because they're the real deal – actual thugs – Their unconscious aim is to go back to prison – The sooner you can get away from them — in a public setting — the better – Feigning you've got something in your eye is a way out – Go by necessity – a twisted back, sudden cramps, diarrhea ...]

—I owe everyone money .... Don't you know what you're doing? ... I'm worth more than the house costs ... So they all joined forces and started a construction company called One Arm ... This is the closest you'll ever come to having a big family ... It snaps! It snaps! It's snappy! ... That's what I want . Take some pictures, huh? ... No one's slapping her around ... No one's telling her she's wrong ... Of course! It's yours! If it's yours, you can do anything you want ... It took me twenty-five years, but now I'm an overnight success ... Give me some money! I want money! ... Cover your ass and protect other people ... Leave yourself out of it ... Um-hm. It's not just you ... Sign here! ... This is your idea. It may work, it may not work. No one else should get the blame. No one else should get the credit ... I've got a question, by the way ... Oooo! My finger told me! It's behind ... Sure thing, boss! ... Safe journey! ... Glamorous ... What a shock! ... I'm a balloon ... I've got something in my eye ... The best thing is necessity ... If you can buy it with money, then it's cheap! ... Sports is tribal ... When you lose money, you never get it back again ... I always knew you Marines were a rather weepy bunch ... Don't you know what you're doing?

"It's not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents' happiness – Not unless you want to create co-dependents who'll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy."

—Sooner of later they'll figure out their parents are stupid.

"The material is not age-appropriate."

—That's what they say – If kids aren't around other kids, they go crazy.

"For a successful anti-bullying program, the school needs to survey the children and find out the details – where it happens, when it happens." (–Perri Klass, M.D., "At Last, Facing Down Bullies (and Their Enablers)," The New York Times, 9 June 2009)

—I think I'll put an ad in the paper, How To Complain ... Just remember, keep a knife under your pillow ... The flowers of mental illness ... This is what you do: You look at the teacher and kick the chair ... Wow, that was a good experiment! ... I'm down with that – Don't worry about – thorough.

"Brace for impact." [Pilot to passengers of US Airways Flight 1549, ditching in the Hudson River, 16 January 2009]

—Mobbing: "There was shouting, lies, little tricks to try and undermine you, like setting demeaning tasks, changing your hours, always trying to put you down." ... Female colleagues stonewalled her, removed her name from circulation lists, hid her mail, removed paper from her desk, laughed in her face, blew raspberries at her, and told her, "You stink!"

"Your craziness is escalating."

—You must have me confused with your sister ... Why pretend to be like everyone else? ... Stick to numbers – They're neutral ... Stay away from letters – They have associations.

"I" "really" "don't understand you" "half of the time."

—Not while you're asleep.

"You're cheating me! – a complete rip-off."

—How about some poppycock?

"What we have here is really kind of the new Wild West. Nobody is really in charge." [The World Wide Web]

—It's really criminal.

"You set me up!"

—At every turn ... I didn't! ... Something happened! ... So things are turning around ... What you want to do is make your own mistakes ... That's the way to learn.

"It's a demonic Jewish world conspiracy perpetrated by a 'filthy, lying bastard people' who kill Christian children – Their blood is used for black-magic ceremonies." (–Bobby Fischer)

—One of the gang ... Eat that and shut up!

"You know, Roget, you're a penis." [Student to a teacher]

—That's impressive – Better! That's really good stuff! Now what do you want? – Pretty soon they'll have the Oprah Institute for Fast Talking Girls. [It's anal expulsion, the opposite of anal retention, throwing things away, expressing hatred towards mom]

"You can't navigate it. I'm the driver. Shut up!"

—It means you're holding on to something ... How to have the nerve to be ... How to throw a toot and laugh.

"I don't know anyone who watches broadcast TV."

—People don't want to know.

"Hi! On the verbal abuse page, you added quite a lot of what appears to be either unsourced assertions or original research. Please take a look at those two links, but in a nutshell, articles on Wikipedia need to be cited, and articles must be non-original research. I've left the statements that appear to be backed up by Elgin's article at HowStuffWorks. Tlesher 03:52, 19 June 2007 (UTC)" [This unabridged article on "Verbal Abuse" first appeared on Wikipedia; a few hours later, most of it was deleted]

—Okay! We're living large – We've reached a new plateau.

[Someone systematically removing references to taxi1010.com from Wikipedia.org]

—They're anal retentive – controlling.

[Someone speaking in parables]

—I don't need you to tell parables. [Their parents beat them; they're religious; they're trying to scare you]

"The way I had it explained to me, absolute truth is a dot in the center of a circle, and all of humanity is the circumference."

—You don't have to worry about it – It's just what happens – Truth is what is; not what your parents tell you – Mystics and Buddhists simply don't want to come between people and their parents – Playing is one thing; practicing is another.

["So what are we?"] "Not to give us a title yet, but I am yours and you are mine."

—On ice.

[Someone erasing comments to say, "Hi and I am always thinking of you," from their website, and not returning your phone calls, calling you, "that girl nicole" blah blah "she's my friend" and what not]

—There's nothing worse than a lot of people thinking something's good, because it usually isn't.

"Next time, you stop at a red light! I'm going to remember you!" [From a wacky pedestrian]

—Where is the spark of light? I know, on top of the Christmas tree. ELEVATE YOUR SPIRIT! So how long can this last?

"You know, I knew two guys ... They went down to the railroad tracks, and a train ran over one of them ... What do you think about that?" [They probe to see if you're scared by their shit]

—You know, you don't scare me at all.

"Bush, reinforce your security measures. The Islamic nation which sent you the New York and Washington brigades has taken the firm decision to send you successive brigades to sow death and aspire to paradise." (–Osama bin Laden's top deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri, 10 September 2004)

—Hey! Don't snap!

"I haven't seen you in a while."

—Come on over! If the door doesn't open, break it down.

"Do you wear those shoes at work every day?"

—That old black magic.

[Aggressive hazing rituals, including locker room towel snapping, "bagging" (grabbing men's testicles), goosing, mooning, pugnacious horseplay, or similar boorish behavior]

—Another reason to go to college ... and to not join a fraternity.

"My personal challenge is to work through this pathetic state and bring some balance to my life, how can I be there for myself and others if I can't communicate?"

—Feeling strong by imitating others is not being you.

"Hey, stranger! Remember me?"

—Well, I'll be! ... This is a surprise. ... Isn't that something? ... After all these years. ... My goodness! ... You tell me first. ... Some stranger! ... I'm doing just fine.

"Remember me?"

—Well, I'm not saying anything.

"I believe I asked you a question." [Threateningly]

—You can work your way up or down.

"I don't remember."

—That's serious.

"You are turning into a platinum blonde!"

—I just made twenty dollars.

"You do have some gray hair – I have noticed it, but I won't say where."

—Is that fair?

"I don't remember." [Lying]

—Fake it!

"I don't need your help, thanks." [Sarcastically]

—I think it's the other way around.

["Fitzgerald Avenue ... at Cameron Way."] "I can't take you there. I don't go there. Get out." [Cab driver to a Black woman he picked up at the bus station at 10 PM]

—You must be pretty fed up.

"That's just overheated rhetoric."

—Nobody's that hot – You could learn.

"Okay, I'll remember this one."

—It's never what you think.

"You're So Vain.. I Bet You Think This Entry's About You (Carly Simon)" [Page title in Cucumber's diary]

—Just because it doesn't say something doesn't mean it isn't true.

"I don't think that's true."

—It keeps going around.

"Do I know you?"

—I just can't remember everything.

"You're obviously up to no good."

—I won't tell anyone if you won't tell anyone.

"I'm happy, and you're my date."

—Little things like that.

["Sometimes I think attacks are the coin of the realm."] "And betrayals."

—All that stuff is bullshit.

"Yeah, but I can change, and you'll always look like that."

—Much different than you would think.

"I have to work – You don't!"

—You can't start too early, networking.

"Too civilized, I guess."

—It's all connected.

"We're not talking anti-Semitism, are we?"

—I'm more Jewish than you are.

"I'll remember that."

—If nothing else.

"There's so much anti-Semitism."

—It's not going to bother me. It's all cats and rats, covered over with a little shine.

"In an age of growing secularism, Senator Lieberman does little to hide his religion and family life, or the big juicy government contracts of the previous administration."

—What about the Pope? And that's a codeword for Black? Jews, too.

["Freud said, 'What does marriage have to do with sex?'"] "That's what I say!"

—I've told you that for years.

"And I thought your family could sink no lower."

—It all depends on how much of a brain you have.

"I bet he has a little penis." [Conversation in an office for you to overhear]

—Be kind to yourself.

"What does someone with a big penis eat for breakfast?"

—We're having dried-up bluejeans.

—The question is, when?

"So considerate."

—That's not bad for me.

—I think the ants do burrow.

"When I'm dead, if you want to try something, I won't say no." [From a bartender]

—What's wrong for you, is wrong for me ... and it hurts.

"Could I please be your girlfriend?" [Voice on the other end of the telephone line]

—Totally!

"I like to fuck!" [From a child]

—No way! — I'm straight and you're ugly.

"What time is the party?" [They weren't actually invited]

—Don't come!

"Do you want to date?" [From a child]

—I don't know if you're ready for that.

"Date me!" [From a thirteen-year-old girl]

—Next time you come to work drunk I'm going to tell your father.

"Camel jockey!"

—Flipping it back!

"Camel toe!"

—Then I'd really be in deep.

"She has to learn humility; the tool for common sense is not there."

—That's powerful.

"I don't know if I'm lucky or not."

—The world is my womb — I'll open it with my head.

"According to the Canada Safety Council: A workplace bully subjects the target to unjustified criticism and trivial faultfinding. In addition, he or she humiliates the target, especially in front of others, and ignores, overrules, isolates and excludes the target. Regardless of specific tactics, the intimidation is driven by the bully's need to control others."

—You know, I feel there are natives in the Po-Po River Valley who could use the money.

"Bullies' expectations may also change constantly, without warning, yet employees are still, somehow, required to recognize and meet those expectations. While bullies may be motivated by an array of needs, one that they, by definition, all share is the need to control others, whether by verbal abuse, physical actions or some combination of the two."

—The communication level is totally nonverbal.

"Typically lacking sympathy for the problems of others, bullies often do not even recognize that others have problems, so wrapped up are they in their own concerns. Often short-tempered and angry, they tend to impute to others the hostility and aggressiveness they themselves feel."

—Well, where are you slinking off to, you old lizard?

"While we tend to think of the dominator as using physical force, in fact most dominators use verbal abuse to control others."

—The chance of seeing one on a good day is slim.

"The following are common examples of verbal abuse: (1.) Degrading you in front of friends and family, (2.) Telling hurtful 'jokes' despite your requests to stop, (3.) Taking your statements out of context, (4.) Name calling, (5.) Insulting, (6.) Humiliation, (7.) Criticizing, (8.) Blaming, (9.) Accusing, (10.) Questioning your sanity." (–Center for relationship abuse awareness)

—They switch 'em around; they have good days or not.

"'Catch it low to prevent it high' focuses on the critical but often ignored problem of low-level aggression."

—It's a lot better than sucking off Jesus ... That's it ... You're not going in the woods anymore ... It's as good an explanation as any ... It's easy to steal cars ... Watch out for people trying to take your attention ... It may just hang there like a low cloud ... There's no ceiling ... All they do is chew things up ... There's nothing fresh ... Dude, why are you talking to this guy this way? ... Look at you ... In a few years, you'll be asking him for money ... Do you see how much variety there is in this?

"Do I need this advice?"

—Who needs teeth?

"It's not your lucky day."

—It's just underneath everything.

"That wasn't an attack – I was just teasing."

—There's hardly any wars, and people are getting dumber.

"It was a jest, sir. We exaggerate on the radio."

—What about now?

"I'm a lucky woman."

—Even more!

"This must be my lucky day."

—That's what it seems like to me.

"Small cock."

—You don't think small.

"You've got small tits."

—Love is something small.