"I like your little responses." :: WildCard-5

—Little by little.

"Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?"

—They use aggressive verbal dirty tricks (propagated from one person to another) to hijack the theater of your mind – It's your birthright to take back your own awareness of the here and now, and to reestablish a strengthening connection with the part of you that dreams at night, no matter what Paul Allen says. Just like subatomic particles, life is an energy field; it starts in the womb with mitosis, including an empathic connection with your mother; every dog knows this. Much of what passes for artificial intelligence comes from lying, one way or another, and it's very easy to trip up a liar. Life is an experience. How can you simulate experience, or qualia, without lying? You'd have to send the damn computer to Dartmouth, teach it windsurfing, and so forth. Here's how to pass the Turing test: Have the computer make muffled sounds and play a tape of a baby crying in the background, then call 911. If the police come, the Turing test will have been passed, showing a simple computer simulation is indistinguishable from an actual human cry for help. Then you can go directly to prison where you can use their exercise equipment, which has been designed to be stronger than you are, to create a quiet or imposing musculature. So, too, with creating a quiet mind. Pursue any book or dynamic intelligence that helps YOU smarten up. While in prison, stay away from rats.

"That's what you say." [Your core philosophy] (–Ray Kurtzweil, How to Create a Mind: The Secret of Human Thought Revealed, Viking Penguin, The Penguin Group Inc., New York, 2012, p. 241) :: WildCard-4

—The person who made my molds probably attacked me.

"Let's pretend we don't exist – Let's pretend we're in Antarctica."

—No money.

"I'm prepared for anything, Richard."

—Ice and all.

"Are you prepared?"

—Clear and concise.

"You're mentally ill."

—Do you think penguins stand together on the ice floes for the same reason you guys stand together on the steps?

"Okay, Kevin, it's all squared away, huh?"

—You just keep hammering away.

"YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?" [They think you "snuck up on them." What they're really angry about is the sudden surge of adrenaline they feel, just below their level of consciousness]

—Say It Out Loud! ... I'm Black and I'm Proud! ... For crying out loud! ... I'm Black and I'm Proud!

[Someone showing you the Yiddish way of enumerating Christians, finger by finger, folding down their fingers in such a way they end up giving you the bird]

—They all fall down.

"Estrella, do you think Richard is a child or an adult?"

—Let them meet.

"Sounds like the taxpayers are paying you to stonewall." (Senator Patrick J. Leahy to Karl Rove aide, J. Scott Jennings)

—Up on top ... Someplace safe where the baby isn't going to get it ... Rarely ... Some at the bottom, some at the top.

"What is the biggest sin you've ever committed?"

—The seven deadly sins ... pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, sloth ... Life is funny, isn't it? ... Usually the way mothers shampoo their children ... No, I'd rather sleep.

"You live like an animal – You are an animal."

—Maybe you're cheating yourself.

"What was it like firing a musket? What were the dinosaurs like?"

—Wow! Times have changed ... The older you get, the more you need to be warm ... Time flies, doesn't it?

"You chose the wrong one."

—You may be on first base again.

[Someone rummaging through your private things when you're gone, leaving one item menacingly upside-down]

—The old days ... It's totally different ... You can't understand how dangerous and stupid people were ... That'll keep me busy, looking, looking.

"I told you ... to stay ... off the grass."

—There's a lot to learn.

"What would you say if someone said, 'You're fat?'"

—Hallelujah!

"So what do you say when someone says, 'I'll bet?'"

—That's what helps.

"Oh, there's Richard! [Talking to someone else on her cell phone] Don't stop and say hello!"

—On a mission!

"Something clever to say."

—I don't have enough money to feed my horses.

"That's because you're not reincarnated."

—It's Kafkaesque.

"You don't say that when you're saying hello." [You used an inappropriate Vietnamese expression]

—Easier said than done.

"Why don't you just say, 'Up yours?'"

—With her lace underpants.

"Oh, no! Don't say that!"

—You needn't make excuses.

"Say, 'Thank you!'"

—It's p.r.

"You shouldn't say that."

—You don't think?

"Don't be nasty!"

—Have a bug!

"How do you say 'little' in French?"

—Not for me!

"You should just say Piss off! to everyone."

—Rage is the word ... What about lessening the pain?

"What about privacy?"

—I don't have it now.

"I didn't say you could talk yet."

—Holy shit! You're killing me.

"There are certain things I can't say around you."

—That's the spirit! Never say die.

"Don't say a word."

—Don't snap!

"I didn't say they're stupid."

—They're so cheap.

"That's easy for you to say."

—Do it the wrong way.

"What did you say? Say that to my face."

—It's nice to have something open.

"Now you made me forget what I was going to say."

—You had a lot of fun when you were a kid, didn't you?

"You're going to get towed ... because I'm going to rat on you."

—With music or with bubbles?

"Hmmm, so let me get this right.. Someone calls me a 'Sucker!' and I'm supposed to say, 'And there'll be a present for you ... after the program.'??? You would say that??? I read taxi1010 for about an hour, picking for usable snippets among the oddness. Why would anyone want to diffuse a question like, 'Are you walking the dogs?' I tried, but I don't get it. —Mark"

—Everybody, without thinking, thinks whatever they learned when they were little, is right.

"Would you mind if I took this call?"

—Go ahead.

"This is a private meeting."

—A big powwow.

"Can we have some privacy?"

—Hatching another plot.

"Can we meet in private?"

—I'm not telling anyone.

"You don't mind if I open this window, do you?" [Having already opened it]

—Don't get caught!

"I don't want to interrupt your lunch."

—Not any more.

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, None but ourselves can free our minds." (Bob Marley, "Redemption Song")

—You know, I'm Brahmin caste.

"Did you have a nice little cheeseburger?"

—Don't say I didn't tell you.

"Oh, humor me – Come on!"

—You're confused ... It's upside down ... Upon encountering another human being, drastically reduce your expectations, sense your lower abdomen, and adhere to a sense of beauty in yourself.

"Before you go, I just want to show you three rugs, down in the basement." [They won't let you go]

—No rugs this year!

"Lothar! Do you know who Lothar is? Mandrake the Magician's assistant."

—Oh! Like Swedish royalty.

"Go get a marker – You're an adult."

—That's a sign.

"It's not a matter of catching up – It's a matter of you being responsible."

—Every minute.

"You ought to wake up, man! – You're in the taxi business."

—It's a very small circle of people.

[Someone "secretly" pulling back so you have to reach a little too far to take what they're handing you ... because they're dwelling inside a Betty and Veronica comic book grudge or are trying, somehow, to "even the score."]

—And you thought you had troubles – Find somebody in the business – Forget it! – Sorry, I'm not a psychiatrist, but you certainly may need one. [You're better off "swallowing it" (meanness) because ... let sleeping dogs lie ... Slow down, almost falling asleep, yet stay very alert – sense your hand and play with your fingers – sense your genitals]

"He's our chaperone."

—Gee, I have trouble following rules, too, but I try to.

"You drive like a little girl."

—Or a nervous wreck.

"This is my horrible little sister."

—Horribly naïve.

"I enjoy it – little tool." [Personal computers]

—It's an investment that pays off.

"Yeah, it is – A little bit."

—My contribution.

"I saw it on your little sign."

—Thanks for telling me that.

"You're a little slow tonight."

—The ground is sinking.

"I have a friend who drives a van so he can feel he has his own little entrepreneurship."

—If someone's getting results, why shouldn't they do it?

["How do you write women so well?"] "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

—You have to use your sensation.

"Thinking about buying that?"

—No plan.

"I got rid of all my junk!"

—A good horse does it all.

[Ac-c-c-h-t! spit!]

—So talented.

[Spit!]

—Out of the darkness and into the light.

[Spit redux]

—One spit leads to another.

[Spit over and beyond the call of duty]

—Your cup runneth over.

"Is this what you've reduced yourself to, Melissa?"

—It's better than I deserve.

"Why don't you write a note to your Aunt Charlotte?"

—Will power.

"Will you write things down if you can't remember?"

—What's the sense in having all that money if you don't know what's funny?

"I'm going to write you up."

—Just because I was honest one time doesn't mean I'll be honest again.

"Well, I want your name ... I'm going to report you."

—Well, I want YOUR name, and I'm going to report you to MY superior for interfering with my job ... Next! ... I don't need any more confrontation.

"You mind?" [They grabbed your spot]

—I'm not fussy ... Glad to share.

"Hey, Roberto! ... Can you put on the golf channel? [As if no one else at the bar is watching TV]

—They're like lightweights.

"Oh, is this your chair?"

—Put all your eggs in one basket and watch that basket!

"Do you mind if I open the window?"

—Please do!

"Do you mind if I watch? I take Tai Chi at [Another] Tai Chi."

—Stick around – It's a good investment.

"Never mind! – Never mind!"

—So?

"Do you mind?"

—Don't suffer too much.

"Make up your mind!"

—Me and my big ideas, huh?

"Are you on your lunch break?"

—That's done!

"Are you on duty?"

—And hoping it rains!

"Boy, am I an observant guy, or what?"

—Life in the city.

"Allow me to help you, Icarus. I understand how you felt the last time you got rejected. I already knew it from the beginning when you were going after that girl, nothing mysterious here. And I knew you wouldn't succeed."

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"You don't have to get snippy about it."

—Let me see how it ends.

"You're the weakest link – Please leave."

—Where did you go? Out. What did you do? Nothing.

"I'm here to turn off your AT&T cable."

—My ordeal is over.

"End of conversation."

—There's always something else to do.

"So how does your mom feel about the breakoff of your engagement?"

—That solves many problems.

"Go write."

—Now on to other things.

["I'm a taxi driver – Can I use your restroom?"] "It's for customer only."

—Allow me to dream a little longer.

"Restroom for our customer!"

—It must be hideous.

["Can I use your restroom?"] "No, they mop it."

—Stop shaking your head! It's your brain wobbling.

"She who smelt it, dealt it!"

—Look at that guy go!