"You're going to laugh at me? You can laugh at me for a while."

—What am I going to do next?

"To me it showed her brittleness, her coldness, her spoiling for a fight. She's so good at this war machine stuff, it's sad." (–Representative Jim Cooper, referring to Hillary Clinton)

—A lot of people will kill to get a job, and that's who gets them.

[Blowing a police whistle at you] "Very good! Very good!"

—What a smarty! Join the Nazi Party!

"Food is good."

—Turkeys don't vote for Thanksgiving!

"How's it going there?"

—And then you get an eye patch – It's a bargain! – Maybe not as good, but who cares? – Do I know you from somewhere? – Have we met?

[A long-winded joke]

—Words fail me.

"That's one of the things that shocked me, that everybody runs to the front and bottles things up." [After watching East Coast drivers race past even after signs make it clear that a lane is about to close ahead]

—Different people have different ideas.

"You have a good day there."

—Go for it, man! Knock yourself out.

"You be good."

—Pretty natural – It's hard to tell.

"It's working like a charm!"

—I will save all my money for the Lord.

"But there's one thing ... Well, it shouldn't be ... the tables aren't even."

—Hanging on to your money tight, huh?

"Leadership matters."

—Slowly everyone gets to know you.

"Is Aaron alright?"

—Maybe get a tin can with a string that goes nowhere, and I'll get a tin can with a string that goes nowhere, and we can talk!

"It's so sad."

—You might have it elevated, right?

["I'm a throwback."] "It's good to know yourself." [Condescendingly]

—I'm in solidarity with dogs and angry children.

"You're a sad little man." (–Catholic Bishop Richard Lennon to Joe Cultrera, who is filming Hand of God out on the street, May 19, 2004)

—All these revivals and traditions are on the way out ... It's all evaporating ... Anyone who believes in God somewhere down deep believes They're God.

"Ralph, you're a cynic."

—Living proof.

"I'm a cynic."

—Expect the worst.

"You're friggin' me out, man!"

—Why get stuck in one place?

"Those dogs are off-leash. They're supposed to be on a leash. They're running in that field over there." [These people appear out of nowhere]

—Did anyone ever choke you?

[Noticeably greasy door knobs & dishes, different from sweaty hands and feet, or "palmer hyperhidrosis," a mild symptom of diabetes]

—Somebody's probably using some hair product, or rubbing in a lot of foot lotion at night, and don't know they're getting it all over the place.

"You've got some bird shit on the window."

—I'd call it more than sentiment – I'd call it green passion!

"That was so funny, I forgot to laugh."

—In a way we can't even imagine.

"Don't laugh at me."

—You just made me forget what I wanted to say.

"I hope my window is still there."

—Out of sight, out of mind.

"How did your seminar go?"

—Well, the more books you read, the more you can earn a living ... not in the short run ... you learn how to get around.

"What's your schedule this week?"

—Why should we be cheap?

"What does your schedule look like?"

—Can't imagine.

"You're hebephrenic."

—There was an office the size of a pirate ship.

"How's that business doing for you?"

—It's all right if you feel hurt.

"Did you have a good day?"

—Unlimited fuel.

"Reminds me of the Catholic church." [Link from The Brandon Abell Experience]

—Uh, boring.

"A quaint hacker."

—It must have been somebody else.

"Quaint."

—You know, profit comes from low overhead.

"A no-brainer."

—A longing for success and frequent experience with failure.

"You could make a contribution to the Irish Peace Settlement."

—They go through stages.

"But instead, I'm here with you – no offense – but a moron pushing the last legal drug."

—Maybe when you go out at night, good things can happen.

"So how's it going with the girl you're after?"

[See Icarus and the Gutter Snipe]

"How's Havi?"

—What about you?

"My last boyfriend had a big one."

—Let's see who has the nicest one.

"I'm impressed."

—If that's what you want to call it.

"Are you getting psyched?"

—I don't know what's going to happen.

"It's kind of sad – Very sad."

—It's starting to come out.

"That was a sad movie."

—How little we know.

"Naked eleven-year-old girls are really great!"

—Selling third-world hoo-hahs.

"Oh, noisy!"

—It isn't any more.

"You're too noisy in the house!"

—Just another person.

["I'm waiting for life to help me."] "An opening."

—Sophisticated, huh?

"That's good – I'm glad to hear you're going to find it."

—The wand chooses the wizard.

"Tire's no good! You don't look in the morning, huh?"

—Just before.

"You're a good man."

—Wait until Halloween, that's all I can say.

"Now be good."

—I'll have to look at my calendar.

"Oh, that's good."

—No, no! – It's just nutty.

"So, think good thoughts! Think good thoughts!"

—San Francisco! And so forth.

["HOW ARE YOU DOING?" "All right."] "GOOD!"

—That's it – A little extra comes in handy.

"You're good!"

—Words don't say anything.

"That's good!"

—It's good enough.

"Damn, I'm good!"

—There's no such thing as bad.

"Good to hear."

—You can just say – You don't have to be vague.

"Good!"

—How good can a person be?

—Buy the book and find out.

—There's not much to do.

"That's good to know – I won't call them."

—They're still in business.

"Increase the volume of your ejaculation."

—Do you think the holidays have anything to do with it?

"Don't look at me like that – It makes me feel uncomfortable."

—Because you're pretty? Because you're smart?

"Okay, Mister Pacifist."

—Something much more efficient.

"Good-bye – It's been original."

—Just be present to yourself – That's all you have to do around a baby.

"Nice talking to you, Richard – You're a nice laugh."

—Why should I walk on bugs?