taxi1010.com — BackYard
BUGS & DIRT

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A. A good life is the best revenge. • A man needs a woman for confidence. He gets a boost on the job, career, with other men, and everywhere else when he knows inside he has someone to spend the night with and who is also a friend. (–George Sodini) • A man without a wife is but half a man. (–Benjamin Franklin) • Achieving critical mass. • Airport people are fun to work with. • Allah-u-Akbar! – God is Great! [And then they start murdering] • And? • And, frankly, anyone who assumes that simply because someone uses humor, satire or irony to address a political situation, they are not serious about that situation, is a fool. • And how far along would you say is that project? • And we remember Earl Scruggs to this day; whereas the Kingston Trio had one or two hits and that's it. [Snide comment by commentator on National Public Radio] • And what are you doing tomorrow? • And why are the rich shouldering the blame for a collective run of bad decision-making? After all, many of the rich got there through hard work ... 'People who get caught up in this paranoia ... haven't done anything to better themselves,' Dr. Dammann said, 'Even if they're right, there is a lot of wasted energy put into this. They need to look at the mistakes they've made in their life.' (–Paul Sullivan, "All This Anger Against the Rich May Be Unhealthy," NYT, October 17, 2009) • Any of the 'Practice Papers' left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will not be embarrassed, because, well, I will be dead. (–George Sodini) • Are women's reality shows neo-vaudeville or might they suggest a useful anatomy of hatred? I wouldn't watch so many if I didn't believe both were true. (–Virginia Heffernan) • Are you? • Are you afraid? • Are you enjoying that? [Pulling a heavy load up the stairs] • Are you gay? [From your mother, who's trying to "out" you before she dies] • Are you :: gay? || straight? || married? || putting on a little weight? || pregnant? || the red Jeep over there? || a smoker? || a nonsmoker? || too good for us now? || happy? || a Democrat? || a Republican? || right wing? || left wing? || a voter? || one of those hippies? || going to eat that? || hungry? || leaving? || in line? || smarter than we'll ever hope to be? || a rich guy? || being smart with me? || going to be late? || on time? || early? || still here? || going to pick that up? || taking full responsibility for this? || an artist? || on the rag? || laughing at me? || a student? || the pilot? || born again? || just a housewife? || stupid? || an airhead? || suggesting something? || a witness to our times? || saying I am? || a history major? || the expert now? || a Christian? || a Jew? || taking a nap? || on duty? || using that? || done with that? || German? || French? || old enough? || drunk? || on drugs? || from Japan? || from China? || an accountant? || a Giants fan? || a writer? • Are you happy, Maria? • Are you headed for University Avenue? • Are you in a bad mood today? • Are you picking someone up or are you available? • Are you somebody, or do you take salary? [What a certain Swiss aristocrat would say to greet people. –Dan] • Are you trying to get out? • Are you trying to stir up some shit? • As a mom, I am thrilled that my daughter wants to read all of The Babysitter Club books because I don't have to worry about anything inappropriate happening in the stories. (–Julie Peterson, mother of two in Mechanicsburg, Pa., who blogs at Booking Mama) • As long as you're happy. • As you can guess, unfortunately, I'm going to be using a credit card. • At least we have a level playing field here in America – Anyone can make it, you know? • At least you're having fun. [Talking about some pursuit of yours (e.g., music, blog, etc.), after it comes out (usually by their prying) that it doesn't make you any money] (–Daniel) • Attacks: What to do/say when somebody disses you (weird, have a look) http://www.taxi1010.com/sunporch.htm [Link from Gift Wrap – Monthly Newsletter for Gifted Teenager, Nov '02]

B. Berkeley Tenants Survey 2009 ... (25.) What was the approximate total income for your entire household before taxes in 2008? ... (42.) The first 400 people to return their completed survey will receive a [five dollar] gift card for one of the following Berkeley businesses. (circle the business you prefer) (A.) Peet's Coffee & Tea (B.) Pegasus Books. • Best verbal defence. • Better get back to work on that. • Beyoncé Knowles should have won instead, for 'Single Ladies.' [Someone grabbing the microphone from you, during your acceptance speech] • Black people are constantly being stopped, searched, harassed, publicly humiliated, assaulted, arrested, and sometimes killed by police officers in this country for no good reason. (–Bob Herbert, "Anger Has Its Place," NYT, August 1, 2009) • Breathtaking! Roam around for a couple. [Link from Las Vegas Fixed Gear - the happy hour thread, to taxi1010.com] • Bring a note from your mother.

C. Calvin, why are we both failures? • Camel jockey! • Can I get you ... ? • Can I see what you look like down there? • Can you help me with something to eat? • Carry on! • Come on, baby, I'm tired of talking – a little less conversation and a little more action. • Congratulations!

D. David Daniels had his own sickness to deal with. • Dealing with insults from therapists. • Dealing with mean people. • DEAR RICHARD HART ... PINNACLE CREDIT SERVICES LLC HAS PURCHASED THE ABOVE REFERENCED ACCOUNT FROM THE ABOVE REFERENCED PREVIOUS CREDITOR ... AS OF THE DATE OF THIS LETTER YOU OWE $12182.89 .... • Desperate. • Did you ever have an accident? • Did you like them? [All the the Sufi books by Idries Shah] • Did you sleep with her? • Did you take him to the vet? • Do everyone a big favor and go sit in your room. • Do I look like I need to watch my weight? • Do you find that waitress interesting? • Do you have a pen in your purse? • Do you have a question? [You're immersed in reading something & they're trying to steal your attention] • Do you have issues? • Do you have someone? • Do you really think you need another one? • Do you think there are things David Daniels didn't say? • Do you think they sag too much? • Do you think you're a real man now? • Does that help with tips? • Doesn't confirmed bachelor mean gay? • Doesn't mind being insulted, so .... • Don't be a dick. • Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. • Don't do anything unusually stupid. [Dialogue from Avatar] • Don't forget to like yourself. • Don't get lost out there. • Don't go ahead of me! Wait for me! Wait for me! [From a furious person in a wheelchair, to the restaurant host, who's slowly leading the way to tables out on the patio] • Don't let anyone insult your spouse. • Don't let it strangle you! • Don't look so happy. • Don't pick anybody up – It could be the lonely stranger who badly needs a friend. • Don't talk to Richard; Richard is MY friend. • Don't you hate back-seat drivers? • Don't you know there's a war on?

E. Especially for you I gave up smoking. • Especially for you I left my mother. • Everyone feels sad that he's gone. • Everything seems to be a target for him. • Excuse me, we're going to SFO, right?

F. Fancy that. • For a successful anti-bullying program, the school needs to survey the children and find out the details – where it happens, when it happens. (–Perri Klass, M.D., "At Last, Facing Down Bullies (and Their Enablers)," The New York Times, 9 June 2009) • For some of us. • Freak you! [Middle school talk] • Fuck off!

G. Getting wet? [You're wearing a poncho; you're close to home; it's really raining] • Girls prefer real things, not toothpicks. • Give me five dollars. [Blocking your way into the restaurant] • Go back to your own country! • Go step in front of a cement mixer, okay? • God damn, I bet your dad'd be really shamed by you! [A History of Violence, 2005] • Good verbal comebacks for a 14 year old.

H. Has anyone famous ridden in your cab? • Hate is never a family value. • Have you done your homework? • Have you ever been robbed? • Have you really tried to look for a job? Where did you go? • He felt a little hurt. • He said something about my mother. • He was sick in his own way. • He's extremely fragile. • He's like most men: rude, lazy, fastidious, and ignorant. • He's so laid-back. • Hello, smallest meat of the year, how are you? • Here you go, dear – Appreciate it. [Paying for a taxi ride] • Hey! Airport moving? • Hey, boss! You're late! • Hey, buddy, if you don't apologize to me, you're going to have a serious fucking problem. • Hey, don't get your panties in a bunch. • Hey, fat ass! – Fucking emo freak! – Oink! Oink! • Hey, how's that fat girl you went out with? • Hey, skinny! • Hey, sweetheart! • Hey! What kind of language is that? • Hi, Blinky! • Hidden perils of emotionally laden words. • Hide Your Beagle, Vick's an Eagle. • His career is not a concern of mine. He's going to have to worry about that. I'm worried about my family and the character of my children. (–Jenny Sanford) • How can we have a responsible distance? • How can you pay attention to your passengers and drive at the same time? • How come you never called me back? • How cruel are you allowed to be? • How do you know I'm not packing a gun? • How do you know if it's a gangster? • How many degrees do you have? • How many degrees do you have in computer science? • How many houses do you own? [To Senator John McCain] • How many times have I told you not to use that fucking language? • How much is it, if you don't mind my asking? • How much longer are you going to hog the computer? • How to come across non-defensive. • How to defuse an extremely hostile situation. [They take control of you from the back seat, and you let them, because they're the real deal – actual thugs – Their unconscious aim is to go back to prison – The sooner you can get away from them — in a public setting — the better – Feigning you've got something in your eye is a way out – Go by necessity – a twisted back, sudden cramps, diarrhea ...] • How to make a verbal boundary. • How to respond to casual insults. • How to respond to verbal attacks and still get your point across. • How was the airport? • How was your day? • How well do you really know someone? • How ya' doin'? [Total stranger suddenly appearing in front of you] • How'd you do that? • How'd you get into that? • Hunt the Homeless: Kill one for fun. We're 87 percent sure it's legal. [Blurb In Maxim, spotlighting a coming "hobo convention" in Iowa] (–Eric Lichtblau, "Attacks on Homeless Are Rising, Many Simply Motivated by Thrill," NYT, August 8, 2009)

I. I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne — yet 30 million women rejected me — over an 18- or 25-year period. That is how I see it. Thirty million is my rough guestimate of how many desirable single women there are. (–George Sodini, in his notebooks, before he opened fire in a Pennsylvania fitness center, hitting 12 women, 3 fatally, before turning a gun on himself) • I always feel I'm faking it. • I am. [Menacingly, from a third party] • I am a Christian. • I am the leader – You do as I say – You don't think. • I asked you how you are. • I bet you cry after sex. • I can't meet with you without specifics. • I don't have a life – But at least I embrace it. • I don't like people. • I don't like what you've become. • I don't look at this person as a person. [Father of seventeen-year-old girl, regarding the man being held in connection with her disappearance] • I don't love you anymore. I'm not sure I ever did. • I don't want to get undressed in front of him ... I don't want him to see me. • I don't want to know you! • I guess it pays to be teacher's pet. • I have a confession to make. • I have no friends and just don't fit in. [Suicide note from eighteen-year-old boy] • I haven't see you in a long time – Where've you been? • I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been hiding? • I heard there were some other mechanics who said they could get that off. [Work crew foreman to escalator repair mechanics at the airport] • I just don't care. • I just want to congratulate you on your masterful air-conditioning work. • I just want to make something perfectly clear with you: We're not friends. • I know exactly what you're thinking. • I know, you feel privileged and honored. • I know your tricks. • I like the card with the snow-covered hills. • I love you, but I don't like you. • I need money for college, do you want to help me? • I recognize you are increasingly more beautiful than you are intelligent. (–Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi to female politician Rosy Bindi, October 9, 2009) • I said, COFFEE! [A History of Violence, 2005] • I think Bethenny has a very serious problem with me. • I think it's fair to say ... that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home. (–U.S. President Barack Obama) • I think my friends are scared of you. • I think of my mother every day. • I think that Sergeant Crowly has backed himself in a very tight corner, and I think that is most unfortunate. My offer to listen to a heartfelt and credible apology is a sincere one and continues to stand. (–Henry Louis Gates, Jr.) • I think what we're saying is, there's no boundaries for assholes. • I think what you're leaving out is that you really wanted to murder them for sending you off to summer camp at such a young age. • I think you're a joke at what you do. • I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished ... I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day. (–George Sodini) • I was listening to the rain – Listening to you at the keyboard is like listening to the rain. • I was watching a huge bird on the feeder, pecking away in the little hole – A green parrot! • I WILL be in the waiting room while my daughter-in-law is in labor, and all of you are welcome to come, too. MY SON will come and give me updates every hour on the hour. [At a large Thanksgiving gathering, after her daughter-in-law (pregnant with her first child) has been quietly rebuffing her] • I won't bother you anymore. • I would like a one-on-one with Officer Crowley, and I'd like him to apologize. But that will in no way determine if I sue him, the Police Department or the city. That will all be worked out, but I know I'm not going to let this drop. (–Henry Louis Gates, Jr., initially investigated for jimmying a jammed front door, then jailed for trying to humiliate a police officer in public and ongoing belligerence out on his front porch) • I wouldn't say it's a bug. • I'd like to hear YOU say some words – I'm not too picky. [Super Bowl XLIV commercial, 7 February 2010] • I'll drop the subject entirely. • I'll leave this with you so you can have it whenever you want it. • I'll put that in my notebook and never forget it. [Theatrically telling everyone what she's going to do with the sticker I gave her] • I'll whop your ass! • I'm a renown one-stop shopper. • I'm calling your mother. • I'm doing illegal activities. • I'm glad I'm just wearing a skirt. • I'm just a housewife. • I'm moving out. The kids will understand. They'll want me to be happy. • I'm not your private secretary, you know? • I'm sorry – My mind is somewhere else. • I'm sorry ... What did you say? ... What did you say? [Belligerently] • I'm waiting to go to class, too. • I've been around 60 years and I've yet to find something I'm passionate about except your mother. • If I wanted to, I could make you lie down in the middle of the road, and shoot you in the back of the head, and no one would say anything about it. [White police officer to a group of Black college kids he's pulled over near a small town in Louisiana] • If I were you, I'd sit next to the smart kid in English. • If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? • If it feels wrong, it's wrong – Say something – It's your body. [Proposed public education campaign to speak directly to children regarding child sexual abuse, Charles M. Blow, "No More Suffering in Silence," NYT, October 10, 2009] • If we're relying on a decision from a German judge about what our Constitution means, no president accountable to the people appointed that judge and no Senate accountable to the people confirmed that judge ... And yet he's playing a role in shaping the law that binds the people in this country. (–U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr. at his confirmation hearing) • If you are not outraged, you're not paying attention. • If you can't do it [run around naked, or switch all your clothes with a friend] when you're a kid, when can you do it, you know? (–Dr. Robert Kohlbrenner, quoted in "When Do They Need a Fig Leaf? – Children Like to Strip Down, But Not Everyone Approves," by Julie Scelfo, The New York Times, 16 July 2009) • If you didn't like the first, then you'll hate the second. [Lord of the Rings movie] • If you ever come back here again, I'll have you arrested! What you do is steal my joy! What you do is criminal! • If you had to name something, what would you say is the biggest misperception that people have of you? • If you're so rich, you can treat me again. • In the language world, everything is probability. But in our legal system, we have real problems with understanding probability. Everyone has problems with probability. (–James W. Pennebaker, professor of psychology at the University of Texas) • In your face! – Freak you! [Middle school talk] • Is it lucrative? • Is it pretty enough for you out here today? • Is it worth it? • Is this free? [The bar stool on your left, from a group that's studiously ignoring you] • Is this one taken? [The bar stool on your right, from a reverend who's studiously concentrating on a pearl-studded Blackberry] • Is that what most people do? • Is that where you take all your first dates? • Is this the last one? [Harry Potter movie] • Is this the minor league of cab driving? And like, New York City's the major league? • It isn't worth it. [Turning on their heels, without paying, after you've made them a double-scoop vanilla ice-cream cone] • It only means that she doesn't have enough mind grapes or thoughtsicles, as Tracy Morgan refers to brain droppings on '30 Rock,' to be president soon. (–Maureen Dowd) • It was so calm [In the previous school administration], and you could teach. No one was constantly looking over your shoulder. (–A teacher in a Midwestern elementary school, in a formal group teachers' meeting, making obliquely sarcastic comments to test the waters, as reported by John Tierney in "Can You Believe How Mean Office Gossip Can Be?" The New York Times, 3 November 2009) • It would have been better if you had died in that car accident, rather than your younger brother. [As reported by Richard A. Friedman, M.D., "When Parents Are Too Toxic to Tolerate," The New York Times, 20 October 2009] • It's a little late in the game to be asking for this. • It's a trick question – Watch out for that one. • It's better than the alternative. • It's empowering. • It's getting weird. • It's going to be a shitty day. • It's good you can admit that. • It's not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents' happiness – Not unless you want to create co-dependents who'll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy. • It's not going to happen. • It's not good – Broken already – First thing in the morning. • 'It's really simple,' Mr. Anderson said in a telephone interview. 'Mea culpa.' He said that he originally had put the Wikipedia material in quotations, but that he and his publisher had not been able to agree on a format for citations. When he took the passages out of quotations, he failed to attribute Wikipedia or rewrite the material in his own words. 'That's my screw-up,' he said. [Apologizing to Motoko Rich, at The New York Times, for copying parts of his forthcoming book, "Free: The Future of a Radical Price," from Wikipedia without attribution]

J. Jim says she had major reconstructive surgery. • Juror ID: 102843020 ¶ Attention Potential Juror: A printing error occurred on the jury summons recently issued to you regarding your upcoming week of service. ¶ On the back of your summons, in the Not Qualified Section, Item B, the instructions stated for this item are incorrect. Also, please disregard the phone number listed as it is not for your court location. ¶ If you are seeking an excuse because you do not have sufficient knowledge of the English language, DO NOT CALL that phone number. Simply check the appropriated box and return the bottom portion of the form in the envelope provided with your original summons. ¶ Thank you, and we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. ¶ THE ORIGINAL SUMMONS IS VALID, AND YOU ARE TO REPORT FOR JURY DUTY AS DIRECTED. [Unsigned, undated follow-up postcard] • Just one more minute! [You're in your boss's office at five-minutes-to-ten; your girlfriend is outside the office building waiting with packed bags for you both to catch a cab to the airport; and your boss intends to keep you wrapped up in a rambling business strategy conference half an hour – if you let him]

K. Kind of tight today?

L. Language, huh? [In warning tones] • Larry, you're being inappropriate. You really are. (–Carrie Prejean, being pressed for information about a dispute on Larry King Live. In an 11 November 2009 interview, Mr. King asked the former Miss California USA why she had dropped her claims of religious discrimination, libel and slander against the Pageant. He insisted;. "Why settle since you had a fight to carry on?") • Last month I mailed the letter to your post office address, but the post office returned my letter back to me. • Laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/N.Y. entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands — that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others ... I doubt he'd ever dare make such comments about anyone else's daughter. (–Alaska Governor Sarah Palin) • Let's get off this subject. • Let's put an end to verbal abuse once and for all! [Promotion for a self-help book on verbal self-defense] • Let's talk about boundaries. • Life in the United States is mind-bogglingly violent. But we should take particular notice of the staggering amount of violence brought down on the nation's women and girls each and every day for no other reason than who the are. They are attacked because they are female. (–Bob Herbert, "Women at Risk," NYT, August 8, 2009) • Life is very lonely when you are always right. • Like I'm supposed to care? • Look alive! Look alive! • Look at the fat chick. • Look what you did. • Love is all you need.

M. Maybe ... it's al-Qa'ida. • Maybe they try too hard. • Meaning? • Mom, you're a goldfish! • My concern has been the atrocities there in Darfur and the relevance to me with that issue as we spoke about Africa and some of the countries there that were kind of the people succumbing to the dictators and the corruption of some collapsed governments on the continent, the relevance was Alaska's investment in Darfur with some of our permanent fund dollars. (–Sarah Palin) • My God, honey! You have really big tits! [One woman to another, in the guise of "friendly girl-talk"] • My God! You're so rich! [Cash you carry to make change] • My grandchildren listen to what I say, but don't hear what I'm saying. • My mother told everyone in town I was gay.

N. Never thought that so small woody exists. • «new idea that you discovered about verbal responses to students» ... «smart comebacks to adult bullies» ... «what to do when teenage girls verbally attack you» ... «biting comebacks to internet insults» ... «great comebacks when someone is verbally abusing you» ... «THE ART OF DEFENDING ONESELF AGAINST VERBAL ATTACK» ... «how to handle verbal insults and triggers» ... «verbal response trigger» ... «list of words defending self» ... «snappy comebacks to stupid insults» ... «WHAT TO SAY IF YOU JUST SHOT SOMEONE IN SELF DEFENCE» ... «self defense words beginning with l» ... «instances of people getting in trouble for self defense» ... «verbal defense i was only kidding –yankovic» ... «word synonymous with self defense» ... «how to respond to a verbal insult» ... «verbally sticking up for one self» ... «responding to verbal insults» • Nice talking to you, Richard – You're a nice laugh. • No fighting today? • No good deed goes unpunished. • No, ... I don't like people. • No, I'm from Italy. • No, I'm just not in the mood for you this morning. • No. I'm waiting to go to class, too. • No, it isn't. • Non-escalating verbal self defense. Grand Celestial Do. If only so that I can bookmark this thread as a meta-bookmark for delusional websites. [Link from metafilter, "The successor to TimeCube?"] • Not the longest ride of the day. • Not your day. • Nut. • Now that's racist.

O. Oh, come on! Don't be like that. • Oh, humor me – Come on! • Oh, right! So this transfer is from this morning, and you're trying to get a free ride! [A bus driver speaking Very Loudly, treating you like a thief in front of everyone, for accidentally picking the wrong transfer out of a fistful] • Oh, yeah! • Okay! Congratulations! • Okay, Pollyanna. • Okay, so you don't want to talk to me? All right. • Okay, well, now you're weirding me out! • On a scale of 1 to 10, how weird are you? • On the other hand, [Michael] Vick is in survival mode and is likely to say anything to get the public on his side, or at least somewhat off his back. • One study described obese patients as 'awkward, unattractive, ugly, and unlikely to comply with treatment.' (This last is significant, because doctors who think patients won't follow their instructions treat and prescribe for them differently.) (–Harriet Brown, "For Obese People, Prejudice in Plain Sight," NYT, 16 March 2010) • One word for self-defence. • One word for self defending.

P. Penny: In choir that girl was sitting in front of us and we kept going, 'Moo.' ... Karen: We were going, 'Come here, cow; come here, cow.' ... Bonnie: I know. She is one ... Penny: She looks like a big fat cow ... Julie: Who is that? ... Bonnie: That girl on the basketball team ... Penny: That big red-headed cow ... Julie: Oh, yeah. I know. She is a cow. (–A group of eighth-grade girls in the cafeteria discussing an overweight classmate whose breasts they consider too large for her age, as reported by John Tierney in "Can You Believe How Mean Office Gossip Can Be?" The New York Times, 3 November 2009) • Please go back in your house.

Q. Question? • Quit while you're ahead.

R. Rachel's a lousy whore! • Really? That's too bad. [Crisp, cruel] • Relax and let your mind go blank – That should be easy for you. [Dialogue from Avatar] • Ricky is so square! • Roberta always has to go back for something. [Habitually talking about you in the third person, as if you're not there]

S. See, when you come, you spoil the whole holiday. [At a Thanksgiving reunion] • Seems terrible. • She, my darling, is conspicuously single. Maybe if she had gone to Wellesley she would have amounted to something. • She said I'm stupid! My father's a doctor! How can I be stupid? • She should be taken to a state prison, raped and left for dead in a ditch. (–Blog posting threatening 20-year-old Elizabeth Lambert, for violently retaliating after her shorts were tugged on in a soccer game) • She should learn to ignore stuff. [Counselor to mother of eleven-year-old girl, who had been bullied at summer camp by other children] • She should understand the value of an education and pay her own loans. • She was so great when she was young. • Should Obama be killed? :: No; maybe; yes; yes if he cuts my health care." (Poll on a Facebook page which is being investigated by the Secret Service, according to Thomas L. Friedman, "Where Did 'We' Go?" The New York Times, September 30, 2009) • Shut your hole! • So who lives in all these houses? • So you think it's fine to laugh about something like that? [A kill-or-be-killed ghetto ethos] • Some problems don't have solutions. • Some requests are time-bound; I ask you to do, and not think! • Someone should put him to sleep. • Someone's been smoking in this cab! • Sometimes, researchers say, one homeless person attacks another in turf battles or other disputes. But more often, they say, the assailants are outsiders: men or in most cases teenage boys who punch, kick, shoot or set afire people living on the streets, frequently killing them, simply for the sport of it, their victims all but invisible to society ... Some of the Las Vegas homeless resort to living in a maze of underground flood channels beneath the Strip. There they face flash floods, disease, black widows, and dank, pitch-dark conditions, but some tunnel dwellers say life there is better than being harassed and threatened by assailants and the police. (–Eric Lichtblau, "Attacks on Homeless Are Rising, Many Simply Motivated by Thrill," NYT, August 8, 2009) • Sometimes we need that – You better learn how to deal with people instead of sitting behind a desk! • Stay out of my way! • Starts at $3.10? • Staying dry? [You're wearing a poncho; you're far from home; it's really raining] • Stop being charming! • Stop that whistling! • Stop verbal attacks from mate. • Stuff it! I do the thinking around here! • Summons for Jury Service, Superior Court of California, County of Alameda ... Failure to respond to this summons will subject you to a fine, a jail term or both. ¶ POSTPONEMENTS: For a postponement, you can call the number listed on the front .... [Original notification]

T. Take this gun and kill that fat girl over there – How can that be bad? – Fat girls aren't real people. • Tell us what you learned. • Ten years from now ... Ricky Hart ... a floorwalker at Montaldo's. • Thank you ... and try not to be weird to people. • Thank you, baby! • Thanks. [Sarcastically] • Thanks for the history lesson. • Thanks for the tip. • Thanks for waiting. • That is really vital – Very important. [Putting two seconds back on the clock at the end of a 49 to 7 football game] • That means you have a girl's personality. • That outfit is interesting. • That's a novel idea. [You turned on the light] • That's not something a real man does ... It's unsanitary. • That's not very nice. • The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. Mark Twain. [Their idea of carrying on a conversation is to swamp you with one important-sounding quotation after another, leaving you with little more than a hollow, empty feeling, leading you to believe you can somehow respond in a suitably clever way to people long dead, and failing to find any simple, sincere or honest resonance inside yourself, you struggle to pony up with phony (or simply mute) acknowledgment of their passable theatrics as you stifle the urge to kill them] • The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. (–Albert Einstein) • The elephant in the room no one talks about. • The first thing you see in India is indignity: filthy slums, boulevard defecation, puffed-out bellies. You feel shocked but also noble in your compassion. Then it becomes normal. You see that the true degradation is in human relationships, in the belief that people come in different levels of humanness. The idea is so pervasive and tempting of your vanity that, in time, it infects you, too. (–Anand Giridharadas, "Letter from India: Questions I Never Got to Answer," International Herald Tribune, 19 June 2009) • The great subjects of online video are stunts, pranks, violence, gotchas, virtuosity, upsets and transformations. Where television is supposed to satisfy expectations with its genres and formulas, online video confounds them. (—Virginia Heffernan, "The Susan Boyle Experience," The New York Times Magazine, 28 June 2009) • The material is not age-appropriate. • The postman always rings twice. • The volley of the conversation, as at a tennis match, was all that he took with him. For what he wanted and what satisfied him was the activity of his own mind. This need and satisfaction kept him from becoming truly interested in other human beings, although he sought them out all the time. He was like a travelling virtuoso who performs brilliant set-pieces and departs before coming to know his listeners. (–Delmore Schwartz, The World is a Wedding, New Directions, Norfolk, Connecticut, 1948, page 34) • The world does not revolve around you. • THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END! [Earthquake in Haiti] • There are no winners; there are no losers. • There are times in every relationship when the parties involved need a break. • There is always something more interesting on Twitter than whatever you happen to be working on. (–David Carr, "Why Twitter Will Endure," The New York Times, 3 January 2010) • There's a fine line between stupid and clever. • There's a really good sushi restaurant up the street – I can't see it right now. • There's nothing going on now, is there? • There's nothing to talk about. • There's one thing you haven't mentioned – That you wanted to kill them for sending you away. • They get you either way. • This is just painful. [Said about your work or some effort of yours] • THIS IS OUR BUSINESS! NOT YOURS! [Some thug beating the crap out of his girlfriend, up on a hillside] (An hour later, in real life, to avenge being sprayed with pepper spray, he and a mate will go on a shooting rampage, killing two) • This is the right timing – I was wondering how I was going to get in there. • This is very important. • Thoughts of suicide. • Tiger Woods was idealized by us, his audience. In fact, he is a normal, flawed human being, who is additionally cut off from himself and from his ability to connect intimately because of the false idealization we have foisted on him. (–Kenneth M. Settel, psychiatrist) • Timing is everything in life, isn't it? • Today is my Friday. • Totally unrealistic. • Turn your skinny white ass around and watch the movie! [From the troublemaker behind you, to your wife]

U. Uppity Nigger!

V. Verbal comebacks for teachers. • Verbal defence for introvert. • Verbal defense strategies for children. • Verbal judo simple secret. • Verbal self defense for women establishing boundaries. • Verbal/emotional abuse moving on what to watch for next time. • Very observant.

W. Was that aimed at me? • Was that in San Francisco? [Codeword for "Are you gay?"] • We all have our difficulties. • We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community ... Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping. [Spokesman for the North Korean Foreign Ministry, referring to Hillary Clinton] • Wednesday. • Well, we're going to have to meet up in my office. • Well, you should. • We're going to SFO, right? • We're not the same, O.K.? This is you [—she holds her left hand low, parallel to the table—], this is me [—her right hand flies up above her head—]. • Weird. • Welcome to the human race. • Well, at least you're having fun. [Talking about some pursuit of yours (e.g., music, blog, etc.), after it comes out (usually by their prying) that it doesn't make you any money. (–Daniel)] • Well, it's more your taste than mine. [Scowling sourly at the cameo brooch you saved up for and bought for your mother when you were fourteen years old] • Well, we only came because Michael wanted to know who all his relatives are. • Well, you had a university education – I didn't. • Well, you should. • What a commentary there ... That's pretty pathetic, good ole David Letterman. (–Alaska Governor Sarah Palin) • What a douchebag – He's a real D-bag! • What are you going to do about it? • What are you going to do with THAT? [Your academic field of interest, English literature] • What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family? • What did I do to deserve a child like you? • What did they get you for? • What do girls want? • What do you do when someone's sitting in the back seat holding a cocked gun to your head? • What do you want? • WHAT DO YOU WANT? [Dripping scorn, putting on airs] • What does Mr. Clinton think about it? [Student to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton at a question-and-answer session in the Democratic Republic of Congo] • What goes up must come down. • What have I done? • What have we learned? • WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? [From someone who hasn't seen you in a while, puffing themselves up and getting all worked up about it] • What have you done to support new product development in the past six months? • What I like is that you're always flying by the seat of your pants. • What if someone says, 'You're an asshole!' —? • What is it supposed to represent? [Your painting] • What made him snap? • What, no sweet potatoes? • What number are you for? [From a complete stranger coming out of a large apartment building] • What to do about robotic people. • What to say when someone says "what's up" smart ass. • What's funny? • What's new, Richard? • What's the difference between misperception and perception? • What's the matter, you going faggot? • What's the scam here? • What's up, smart-ass? • What's wrong with someone saying, 'What's the matter with you?' • What's your agenda for this trip? • Whatever! [Truly angry] • When? [Pressuring you for a date] • When in doubt. • When is Easter? • When verbal abusers push your buttons. • Where did you pick that up? How do you know that? • Where is heaven? • When your time is up, your time is up. • Where are the most shops? • Where are these words coming from? • Where are you? • Where did you get this? [A 5-euro bill] • Where have you been hiding? • Whether I'm in a bad mood is none of your concern. • Who knows? Maybe one day we can be friends. • Who trained you? • Why are we both failures? • Why are you so desperate? • Why do this? ... To young girls? Just read below ... It seems many teenage girls have sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with her boyfriend, So, err, after a month of that, this little hoe has had more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48. One more reason. Thanks for nada, bitches! Bye. (–George Sodini, in the month before he went on a shooting rampage, killing three women, injuring another nine, before suddenly stopping and shooting himself) • Why don't you move back there then? • Why don't you write them a letter and ask them? • Why is everyone crying about verbal abuse in the game? IT'S A GAME! • Why shouldn't we look to the wisdom of a judge from abroad with at least as much ease as we would read a law review article written by a professor? (–U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg) • Words with humorous associations. • Works of art are not required to exist. There is nothing outside of them that requires their existence. If Shakespeare had never existed we would not miss his works, for there would be nothing missing. (–Richard Poirier)

X.

Y. Ya, I'll speak with your mama outside. (–Henry Louis Gates, Jr., who in police parlance, was getting lippy with Cambridge police Sergeant James Crowley, who had been seeking identification after a neighborhood report of a break-in. Professor Gates followed Sgt. Crowley out onto the porch, yelling at him in the presence of a growing crowd, "Why, because I'm a Black man in America?" and stated soon thereafter he intends to make a movie about the incident ... reportedly having screamed out on his own front porch, which had now become a public setting, "I'M NOT SOMEONE TO MESS WITH!") • Yeah! I'm too tired to think. • Yeah, puss – Run away! [A History of Violence, 2005] • Yeah, sure. • Yeah! Tell it like it is, baby! • Yep. • You always want what you don't have. • You bumped me on purpose! [Out on the street] • You can dish it out but you can't take it! • You can't examine your life if you can't remember it. • You can't fool me! ... I know your tricks. • You could come and pick me up at five o'clock. • You could do some contract programming on the side. • You could put some rat traps out in the water heater shed. • You didn't go to the airport? • You don't act like you like me. • You don't have a pot to piss in. You don't have to be in a group to be happy. • You don't know me! You don't know my child! [The abused toddler an eighteen-year-old mother has been repeatedly slapping in a New York City subway] • You don't know what you're walking into. • You don't want to say. • You have a supercilious [disdainful, haughty or proud] manner – Has any woman ever said that to you before? • You have sisters! That means you have a girl's personality. • You haven't returned any of my phone calls. • You know, excuses are easy. What we need is a firm commitment, ... get a small revenue stream going. We've got a solid customer base? • You know what? • You know what? You're the best. • You know, you've been such a nice person explaining that to me, I promise to give you a complete blowjob! I mean it, a total blowjob! • YOU LIE! [Representative Joe WIlson from South Carolina, heckling the President of the United States during a major address before Congress] • You look like nothing! [Little bully making fun of eleven-year-old girl on Dress-Up Day at summer camp] • You may want to start pulling your weight. • You must enjoy this in a sick kind of way. • You set me up! • You should be writing this down. • You should read this book. • You should stay home with your husband rather than seek employment out of town. • You Silver Laked it! [Said something as beautiful or true as a haiku you once wrote, named At Silver Lake] • You sly dog! • You speak Japanese? Does that help with tips? • You talk funny. [One five-year-old boy to another] • You want this? [Sopping newspaper] • You will have the ability to gain a deeper and more meaningful understanding of bullies, their behaviors and their issues. [Testimonial for a self-help book on verbal self-defense] • You're a real lady killer, Phil. [Sarcastically] • You're a woman! [A woman striking out at her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend] • You're being a real bitch about all of this. • You're being extremely inappropriate. (–Carrie Prejean) • You're getting spoiled. • You're going to get in trouble. • You're going to laugh at me? You can laugh at me for a while. • You're my big baby! • You're so fat! Fatty, fat, fat! [One five-year-old boy to another] • You're studying English literature? – Isn't that useless? • You're talking rubbish. • You're the last one? • You're the most helpless person in the world! • You're tolerant, aren't you, dude? • You've got a whole lot of 'splainin' to do! • You've got to get your emotions under control. • Your dog is really messed-up.

Z.