Appearance

Insults

Comebacks

"Disgusting feet."

—Don't laugh.
—If my parents had been flawless, I'd be the Pope.

"I'd never have thought of putting those colors together!"

—Unbelievable, huh?
—I can see the future.

"Hey! You must be wearing an Armani suit. Let's see." [Grabbing your jacket]

—Spare me!
—Hands off!

"Mr. Armani!"

—I'm sure.
—Keep your hands to yourself!

[Start at
the top]

"I think you're making a fashion statement."

—I'm sure.
—Anything helps.

"You're wearing that?"

—In case.
—Remember the good old days, when people were hippies? – Don't look rich – It's called teasing – Holland is very advanced – Just everything's bad – That's it today, sorry! – Should I get more? – Everyone has all these prejudices.

"Well, looks aren't everything."

—So WHAT?
—Great news.

"You're vain!"

—Spare me!
—By whose authority?

"I love that — It looks good on you."

—Pretty hot!
—I noticed yours is perfect, and mine is abysmal.

[Start at
the top]

"I like your faggot shoes."

—Well said.
—Tell me about it!

"You're ugly."

—So foolish.
—From your lips to God's ear.

"You're fat and ugly, and always will be."

—Not recently.
—What good is running if you're on the wrong road?

"It's better to be dead than ugly."

—So foolish.
—You've been talking to a teenage girl.

"My God, you look terrible — Did you get any sleep last night?"

—Very elusive.
—And I'm looking forward to a long, rich, full life.

"Gosh — You look awful!"

—It's criminal.
—It's YOU! — You sneak up.

"You should wax your eyebrows."

—Anything else?
—The next lesson is hair pulling – How to pull hair and scream.

[Start at
the top]

"Here—Buy yourself a wig."

—Worse yet.
—Do you know that's ALL some people have?

"You're overdressed."

—I'll cry.
—Thank you for dropping by.

"Listen, darling, if you want to look like a slapper and a whore and dress like a tart, it's up to you, but don't expect me to do it, too." (–Yvonne Ridley)

—Worse yet.
—Because nobody cares – Of course! No one wants that – What do we care?

"Can I buy your tie?"

—Worse yet.
—It's better than a degree from Harvard.

"Lose the tie!"

—Worse yet.
—The world isn't ready.

"They make me buy this outfit, and they let you in in a house dress. I don't get it."

—Just normal.
—Let's hit the road!

"I don't see what's so great about your owning an Armani suit."

—Who's complaining?
—They know what they're doing.

"Do those shoes match?"

—I'm sure.
—I should think so!