To Amoret

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sunday
november 10
9:37 pm

About «people who don't get it»: Can you explain to me what it is they don't get? I'm really serious, because if I knew, I would be able to write something that would be of use to them. Today, three thugs accosted me outside the movie theater and one of them said, "Did you watch the movie? Do you still have your ticket?" [It was a threat]. Wouldn't anyone want to know what to say to them? Anyway, it's in the bank now, about seventh from the top. Seriously, what don't people get? Am I the only one in the world who knows they get frightened?

California time

 

 
     

To Richard

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tuesday
november 12
8:38 pm

Some people looking at the front page of taxi1010.com are thrown off track right away because they look at the phrases in the column marked insults and think, "Oh, everybody loves me!" is not an insult. In fact when they look into it even further, they may be shocked reading phrases marked as insults, which are clearly not insults. Well, it's all in your definition of what an insult it. "It all depends on what your definition of is is."

If you think of yourself as a perfect machine called a human, it may help. This human that you are has all the information that you need to have a nice life. You have everything you need to be happy. There is a trick to making the machine work and the trick is to be yourself. taxi1010.com is all about being yourself.

Other machines out there don't want you to be yourself; they want you to be just like them. They can't help it, they were programmed that way. It doesn't even matter what is going on with the other machines, why they do what they do, or even what they do. What matters is how to keep in touch with your deep self (who knows everything you need to know to have a nice life)

Remember when someone said something that really bothered you? It is possible for someone to say something that really bothers you but doesn't bother your spouse, brother, sister, or friend if the same thing is said to them. Your conglomeration of life experiences made you unique, and therefore different words affect you differently, because they carry a different historical perspective for you than they do for the next guy.

There is another aspect to this whole insult thing. I'll use a loose interpretation of my experience as an example. I discovered a new hobby and loved it more than any other hobby I ever tried. I want to share my joy with other people and tell them what I'm up to. Many people immediately start giving me advice on how I might do it better. They think it sounds great and they just want to share their ideas with me. That's nice. For me personally, I have to fight back the "instant response" of feeling insulted. Why is it they think they know how I should be doing it? What they are implying to me is that I'm an idiot and they are the expert and they will help me because I'm too stupid to figure out for myself how to have my own fun. (I know that's not what they think) So when I go to work and want to talk about my hobby, it might behoove me to have some ready responses to any "you should" suggestions ... for instance, "Oh, definitely!" "Beyond belief," "Watch out!" or "Really tragic."

Only I never do what I "should," so I don't memorize responses like, "Watch out!"

But I do know not to go blindly following someone else's suggestions on how I should live my life.

So what good is taxi1010.com? It's full of wisdom, if you are willing to read any of it. And when I'm particularly bugged by my mother-in-law, I can go to taxi1010.com and look up the last 5 insults she threw my way and find the response to them. "What good does that do?" you might be thinking. Well, you know those times when someone has said something and three days later you are still stewing about it? It's times like those that I look up the response, and it annihilates the insult for me. It defuses it completely. And what's more, I tend to get insults that rile me in the same way for a while. I look up my recent set of insults I've received and write down three responses, and try to memorize them, but I also make a cheat sheet that says "Watch out!" and "Really tragic," (because I want to be really prepared for when that same type of insult comes my way again, and I know it will, because I've received so many of them lately, and I probably won't remember the response the first time I want to use it, so I'll have my cheat sheet with me just in case) and I'll be just waiting for that insult to come from that special person who tends to insult me "that way" and ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they don't do it! It is just like bizarro magic voodoo land. If I prepare myself for an insult, the insult ceases to come my way. The person just knows that I won't be hurt anymore by that particular attack, and they quit slinging them my way.

It is cool when that happens. Sometimes I have to endure quite a few insults before I remember to prepare for them! One more thing about insults ... I notice how I feel at the time I'm receiving the insult. I used to just not know I was being insulted and felt cruddy. I'm pretty much aware of it now. And ...

I don't want to waste a lot of energy trying to educate my insulter about what they have done and how they have hurt me. I just want to get back to me. If I can say, "Much worse!" I've actually educated my attacker in a very kind way. I've given them an example of how to stay in one's own self. I don't feel the sting of their insult, and because they haven't elicited an expected response / reaction, they quit trying to provoke me.

I don't think people consciously try to upset other people. There is just a little monkey in them which is very curious, and the little monkey is mischievous and likes to see what happens when they say certain things.

There is a lot to taxi1010.com. A lot more than meets the eye at first glance. It's such a new model of thought that it takes a little while to understand. In a way it's like a dictionary of preverbal, or buried, feelings. If you just read little bits of it here and there over time, it can unlock those feelings and release a lot of energy.

And, in the beginning, you might feel terrible because so much "stuff" will start coming up as you go through these pages. (Your external world might seem chaotic) Your subconscious might not let you come back for a while because too much change, too quickly, is difficult to handle. You might just plant the seed right now to come back later and read a little bit of it again because much of what goes on in taxi1010.com works on a deep level for people, even while you are sleeping. You might not know it's working. Believe me, something will go on inside of you if you visit here. You might like it. I hope you do because since I started working with Richard on the art for these pages, a lot has happened for me. And by the way, about my art, it works on a very deep level, too, because it comes from deep within me.

Wilmington time

 

 

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Daily Splash!

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Assignment

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for kids!

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Street Smarts

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index - Insults

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Index - Keywords

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Index - Bridges

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Index - Follow-ups

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Six Choices

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Introduction

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Thumbnail Guide

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Reflections

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taxi1010.com - Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense

 

"It's How To Change the Mood If Someone Is Mean."

 

Uses Keywords in an attack to shuttle any English sentence into one of eighty-eight categories, to find a possible two-word response (Bridge) and anchoring idea (Follow-up). There you can also find similar attacks, and a straightforward analysis of what is going on. The "for kids!" section divides a small portion of the attacks and possible responses into twelve categories instead of eighty-eight of them, because, after all, they're just kids! The overall philosophy of taxi1010 is to not rear up on your hind legs and have a ferocious fight with another person. It is to use specific verbal tools to express preverbal parts of your unconscious mind, things you didn't learn as a child for everyone to save face, to stay professional & connected to the mysterious, beautiful, and unknowable. "Snakes understand a lot; it's just hard for a tube to express itself." Always try to say very little.