You cannot defend yourself with words unless you know at
a very deep level that you are (1.) far
worse than the other person; (2.) genetically
related to the other person; and (3.) totally
incapable of getting the other person to like you, here and
in the present. (4.) The only
way out is to trick them into going back into their childhood,
where you have the most in common. If you can't afford to
do this, let them go off and have their own life. Why should
you be nice to someone who was mean?
1. If the other person is boring,
you are more boring. If the other person is despicable, you
are more despicable. If the other person is treacherous, you
are more treacherous. Try to understand this. See yourself
as a Shakespearean actor, and your role as that of a wise
man. See the other person also as a Shakespearean actor, and
their role as that of a patient in an insane asylum. Don't
tell them this! You just want to reduce the importance of
the other person (in your mind), and you want to give them
some sort of treatment (also in your mind). The idea is to
not tell the other person what you really think, feel or believe.
The idea is to say something appropriate to what they said!