|
||||||
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
|
TRICKS |
WINGS |
IDEAS |
"Stay in the classroom and shelter in place!" [Gunshots or a shooter in the building] |
Not today. |
Who knows what's going to happen? ... Escape from the building and run away, no matter what anyone tells you to do! ... "If you can run away reasonably safely, that should always be your first move. If not, you need to hide and barricade yourself. And if you come face to face with a shooter, then you need to fight for your life." (Wikihow) |
Big family! What if you're not? |
You assume a certain posture and that's it ... That's how actors do it ... Your posture can affect how you think ... That's why they call it the slump "the depression." |
|
"Dang it, these fit everywhere but my thighs! I wish my legs weren't so huge." (Harvested from "'Fat Talk' Carries a Cost," by Jan Hoffman, The New York Times, 28 May 2013) |
In front of the opera is up! |
These clothes just don't get us! |
I killed! |
A problem well-defined is a problem half solved. |
|
In front of the opera is up! |
Bulk forwarding! ... Every penny! |
|
"You must be joking You are so not fat. Just look at my thighs." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
No planning. |
"If we're not here when you get back, it means I've run off with your wife to Tahiti." |
In front of the opera is up! |
I'm so dirty, anyway, what's the difference? ... She looks like a tramp, but she handles like a princess. |
«Self-protection through playfulness» |
In front of the opera is up! |
You don't have to fight anything You just have to be what you are, (at least the part of you that won't go to jail) They all call each other weird The ones who get in trouble are the ones who don't enjoy that They earn acceptance by being even more like everyone else than everyone else! |
"Internet nudes wear you out, don't they?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
I would give up on that. |
["Are you Canadian?"] "Do we exude Canadian?" |
Not today. |
They're separate. |
"Well, say good-bye to all the leftovers." [Abusive dialog from TuckerMax.com] |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Don't talk to me that way ... I'm just a person ... I'm an American. |
"Apparently, this fatty seems to think she can hang. The Medina Division made better tactical decisions." |
Not today. |
Someplace else ... I thought it would be easier ... Late at night ... So does the dog! |
"Can you not hear me? Are your ears fat, too?" |
I killed! |
If you had a wooden leg, you'd be shit on a stick. |
"I'm sorry. Really I am. [I open the fridge] Would you like cheesecake or chocolate cake? Probably both, I'm guessing." |
Not today. |
It's too wholesome ... Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there. |
"Hey Sara Lee, I was only kidding! COME BACK HERE MY FRIEND LIKES TO GO HOGGIN. MORE CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN! IT'S LIKE RIDING A MOPED!!" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
People have a little mother inside them, and in a day it envelops things you tell them. |
"You ride in the front You're the biggest." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Okay, I will. |
"You're so fat! Fatty, fat, fat!" [One five-year-old boy to another] |
In front of the opera is up! |
In front of the opera! ... All at once! ... Just like in the old country! ... Better to start off bad and end up good than start off good and end up bad! ... A little bit of everything! ... It's easy to be beautiful because it's natural. |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Seven fat years, seven lean years ... You can't get too worked up about it ... Don't tease doggies and don't tease anyone bigger than you ... It's better to have different kinds of people ... "Shallow people are the only ones who truly know themselves." (Oscar Wilde) |
|
"You're getting a little fat." |
In front of the opera is up! |
That is not necessarily bad. |
"You don't sweat much for a fat lady." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
If you're big, you don't have to be mean. |
"You've got fat thighs." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Probably the only one in town. |
"You're just like me You need to push away from the table a little bit sooner." |
Not today. |
Have a little compassion. |
"What a paunch!" |
In front of the opera is up! |
That's good for the character. |
"You look pretty good for a fat guy." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Have you ever heard the expression, "Fat, dumb and happy?" |
"Hey, you're fat!" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Some people would say that. |
"Look, Elephant Girl, just get Carol or something." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Be seeing you! |
"Do you think I look fat in this?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Everything but! |
"Look at the fat chick." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Oh, yes, the national debt is much too high ... or is it? |
"One study described obese patients as 'awkward, unattractive, ugly, and unlikely to comply with treatment.' (This last is significant, because doctors who think patients won't follow their instructions treat and prescribe for them differently.)" (Harriet Brown, "For Obese People, Prejudice in Plain Sight," NYT, 16 March 2010) |
Big family! What if you're not? |
People ignore their impulses ... They wrap them up in cellophane and tie a ribbon around them ... motivations = impulses ... Most people can't see their impulses ... They just see the results of these impulses going all around. |
"Kind of tight today?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
It's always been that way. |
"You may want to start pulling your weight." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Having trouble already? ... Just do what you're doing; go slow ... Wheelchair 2.0 ... "Whenever a critic says something bad about your work, invite them out to lunch and ask them what they don't like about it." (W. Somerset Maugham) |
[Feeling off kilter & totally out-of-synch with everyone, you hear something that makes so little sense, you can hardly describe it] |
Not today. |
We should be well on our way. |
[Someone screaming at you, and you don't even know what they're saying] |
Not today. |
That makes people feel comfortable? |
"Hey, man, buy me a coffee." |
Not today. |
NICE TRY! |
"I said, COFFEE!" [A History of Violence, 2005] |
In front of the opera is up! |
Not so much for this country, but for the whole world. |
"What about tomorrow?" |
I killed! |
It all depends. |
"Can you help me with something to eat?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
I support a long stay in warm weather. |
"Do you have a nickel for five pennies?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
I don't want to hear anymore. |
"Hey man, you got fifteen dollars?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
I forgot. |
"A little coffee with my sugar." |
In front of the opera is up! |
That's the sign of a delicate nature. |
["Excuse me, this is my classroom, and I have sixty students here."] "Get out of MY classroom." [A woman's voice from the darkened room, currently being used as a video gallery] |
Not today. |
I didn't tell you that ... Don't you get scared. |
"If something happens, you're going to wish it never did." [Posturing] |
Not today. |
Sometime down the road. |
Not today. |
Before you. |
|
"Hey, Yellow! Hey, Yellow! Are you there for Joe? Are you there for Joe?" |
I killed! |
You can still go to jail. |
[Someone parroting you] |
Big family! What if you're not? |
It's just good to know. |
"You staying here, folks?" [Trying to grab your bags outside the hotel] |
I killed! |
That's another question. |
"Last name on your reservation?" |
In front of the opera is up! |
For what it's worth. |
"Do you have a reservation?" |
I killed! |
I hope I can remember! |
"FUCK-FACE!" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Just to make money, huh? |
"You don't have any diseases, do you?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
I'm riddled with diseases. |
"Putting on a little weight there, huh?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Will you get in touch with your humanity? |
"Will you do my front?" [She's face down on a massage table] |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Maybe ... I've reached the magical age. |
"Could you give me a copy of your DreamWeaver software?" |
Not today. |
We can't It's too hard at this time. |
"You're not going to help make my season jolly?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
I'm going to do that. |
"What happened?" |
I killed! |
It's unbelievable. |
["I used to work at IBM."] "What happened?" |
I killed! |
It's a joke. |
"I feel bad for what happened to you." |
I killed! |
Nothing to do with me. |
"What made you leave IBM?" |
In front of the opera is up! |
Beyond being devastatingly good-looking. |
"What made you leave being a systems analyst?" |
In front of the opera is up! |
Even my mother would have no complaints with this one. |
"If you like it so much, why did you leave?" |
In front of the opera is up! |
I'm on the fuck-yourself track. |
"What happened to your queer party friends?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
It's all in your mind. |
In front of the opera is up! |
One a week is nice, though. |
|
"So what's the weather going to be this weekend?" |
I killed! |
They never know. |
"Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense Parts of this site are great. I want to go back to it for expressing magic and unicorns without words. But there are places where it goes into quasi-pornographic poetry. Those parts are NOT assigned. jeanne." [Link from Index on Love at www.habermas.org] |
Not today. |
It's nice for an old person It's like a game. |
"Do you find that helps you?" |
In front of the opera is up! |
Like little tulips. |
"Was Richard giving you a mischievous grin?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
That's stretching it. |
"Club card?" [At the checkout counter] |
Not today. |
The cupboard is bare. |
"We want you to come to church with us sometime." |
Not today. |
Unless you're a priest. |
"We'd like to invite you to join our church." |
I killed! |
It's good for you and good for other people. |
"You can go to Riley's if you want." |
In front of the opera is up! |
If it's still in business. |
"Why be normal?" |
In front of the opera is up! |
That's the sign of intelligence. |
"Who picks out your clothes?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
You don't. |
"Let's see if I can screw this up again today." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Making more money than anyone. |
"Let's make a deal on six of these here turkeys." |
Not today. |
Nothing cheap. |
"Let's go, asshole." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Get thee behind me, Diarrhea! |
"You do your job, I'll do mine!" |
In front of the opera is up! |
Bank on it, pal! |
"Hey, man, can you put on the radio, tune in some oldies?" |
Not today. |
I'm a little frazzled. |
"Are you hard of hearing from listening to loud music or are you just being a prick today?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
Maybe it's better to leave well enough alone. |
"How do you know we're not psychos?" |
In front of the opera is up! |
Don't adjust! |
"Can you spare a little change to get something?" |
Not today. |
I'm using it for something else. |
"Hey, baby! Do you know what a platonic relationship is? That's all I want." |
Not today. |
School's over. |
"Stay in your room. We'll send someone around between two and five o'clock tomorrow afternoon." [Fraternity rush week Sophomore year at Dartmouth College] |
I killed! |
Did you say, because I was never anointed? ... Long time! ... Whenever. Whenever you feel comfortable ... How often do you get a chance to do nothing and sit and be waited on by everyone? ... When you're seventeen, you can't tell who likes you ... It should just take a day to get out of this ... It's not like you're going to die if you don't do something every second of the day ... It is brute strength, but it's the mental kind! ... Whoever's calling the plays, forget it! ... Just don't ever get an endowment from the National Council of Arts, 'cause it'll be one bitch after another! ... I think you get used to it, and you know it won't last forever ... You have to change ... I might as well have a little party since I'm at the lowest point of my ... This could be a treasure ... He squandered the family fortune ... So far this is the prize of my collection ... It wasn't cheap ... Saving up to go to graduate school ... The outcast of the islands! ... Maybe the new direction isn't up, it's out ... If you look out (at people), maybe you'll see the world of ideas ... No poet can write good English! ... They go skiing in November in Vermont, whatever they're supposed to do, they do ... Send 'em back on the farm! ... They were all these put-down artists. |
"The bank asks if you can cosign this loan." |
Big family! What if you're not? |
That's dangerous I don't think it's good for me. |
"Well, then, can we shake on it?" |
Not today. |
I'll wait. |
"How did a little girl like you land a great big job like this?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
You call yourself a woman? |
"Why can't you play a decent ball game?" |
Big family! What if you're not? |
You're right! Just pay me! |
"Gives you power, doesn't it?" |
In front of the opera is up! |
I'm pregnant. |
"Power to the people!" |
In front of the opera is up! |
Especially me. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
14-AUG-1999.
THE SPIDER
PROCRASTINATION, in my book, is a virtue. I write every day, except a third of the time, I don't write anything at all I intended. Instead, I postpone that topic long enough to allow my dreamself (some would say, my real self) to guide me.
Actually, lackadaisical attributes, which many men's mothers consider character flaws, might be seen quite differently as the care of returning to the essence of our individual beings. Does the huge black spider which crawls up on the foot of my bed at night come forth from procrastination? Does it feel an obligation?
If I were to look at myself from that spider's eyes, I would no doubt appear as a big black hulk wrapped in a sheet, with an occasional unconscious stirring evocative of grave danger. There, in the night, what color is my skin? How do I comb my hair? Who is truly the creature actualizing fear?
Letting the spider come in and dream with me, I see grand machinery spraying white foam over the tribulations of the day, preparing subtle ideas for tomorrow. Perhaps Amy, who told me she already has a boyfriend, hasn't realized she could have two! Is she such an innocent? Perhaps my pushy cotenant, who doesn't feel like getting a job, and who recently asked me to call the Gas & Electric company to restore our hot water, hasn't yet realized I simply go to Albany Hot Tubs to take long, steamy showers. After ten days, she can do it!
Trouble is kind of interesting, and usually has a devious solution. I do what I do, and don't take shit from anyone. Am I the incarnation of evil?
And the spider, sharing my everyday consciousness, makes me laugh when anyone uses the words, Nigger, Kike or Chink. What do they know about the dark side? I'm worse than all of that. I have a life.
20-OCT-2014.
|
As follows
CODE WORDS: assigned, [backbiting], bleach, brownie, building, cake, cavity, cheesecake, church, classroom, club, coffee, crybaby, cushion, dang, decent, diseases, everywhere, exude, fat, fatty, fifteen, freestanding, front, fuck-face, giving, greetings, guessing, [gunshots], happened, helps, hoggin, image, Joe, land, leave, leftovers, legs, let's, loan, microaggressions, mine, moped, normal, nudes, obese, oldies, pair, [parroting], paunch, pennies, picks, platonic, playfulness, power, prick, psychos, pushin, reservation, Riley's, [screaming], season, [sense], shake, shelter, [shooter], skinnier, software, something, sooner, staying, Tahiti, taller, thighs, tight, tomorrow, weekend, weight
|