A White Horse


A Black Horse


(Using the Right Hand)


(Using the Left Hand)


Ideals & Values
Tension & Control
Understanding & Fulfillment


Dreams at Night
Real Magic
Spiritual Awakening


Notes from a Spiritual School, 794. Annihilation refers to knocking off the vicious part of yourself that attacks your feeling bad.

795. Remember that even when you are feeling bad, the only one who is in you to be happy is yourself.

796. "In some families the girls are all assumed to be bad, even when they are boys."

797. Where David Daniels came from the people are so tough, they even tell the one-year-olds to act their age.

798. Equivocating: At Thanksgiving David's mom would tell everyone she wanted them to tell her how her cooking was — but if anyone said it was bad, they'd have to wash the dishes. Everyone said how great the food was until it was the youngest family member's turn. He said, "It made me vomit — but it's real good."

799. Double messages: for example, "You play the flute very well, but can you earn a living?"

800. You need to prove to someone that you hear them. Just listening and seeing are not enough. "I'm glad you like the way I play the flute, and yes, sometimes I earn a living."

801. Some people deny that they hear you: "I hate performing." "Well, there's a certain element of performing that's good."

802. Some people prove they hear you: "I hate performing." "Sometimes I hate performing, too."

803. "Peter and I are talking." [Bug off!] "Thanks for sparing me."

804. They say if babies came out six feet tall, all mothers would be dead within two months.

805. Trouble with in-laws? If someone is belittling you or picking away at you, you can create your own trouble instead. Make a list of demands and say if they are not met, you are going to (leave with the baby, say).

806. Power or politics: Some people don't understand when you say you feel hurt or frightened. But if you say you will cut all relations with them unless they quit insulting you, that they understand.

807. "I'm sorry," can go a long way.

808. "How much grief should a person feel?" "As much as a mother with fifteen children to feed."


(Dream) It didn't start out that way. My technical description of a synthetic tooth has certain erotic overtones, a sense of beauty as "what isn't" slowly becomes "what is."

There are just a few questions I need to address, so I made two appointments with David Silva, MD — Unfortunately, at our first meeting, I could only discuss the various technical aspects I've been having to address before I can even mention "what isn't." You see my point?

I haven't even gotten to how "what isn't" becomes "what is."

Unfortunately, at our second meeting, well actually, we never got that far, because he started writing a long technical description that never quite got to the point, pasting a twenty dollar bill here, a ten dollar bill there, eventually returning, I guess, my whole fifty dollars.

"Is this a rejection?" I ask when he accidentally encounters me at my regular dentist's office at St. Luke's Hospital. (I mean, first things first!)

"Yes," he says. (Fin)

(Dream) I could go back to sleep except the fear in me keeps me awake. You close your eyes and this huge guy grabs you. I've violated his territory or something.

The guy and his friends mean to knock my teeth out, and I know it's going to cost me a fortune! Do you know how much dentists cost these days?

I turn to this fucking giant, "Do you know what I do for a living?" I ask him. "Do you know what I do for a living?" my head angled way up. Something in his eyes begins to twinkle, or melt, or thaw. He just lets me go, and I head back to the office downtown.

Now this technical description — It's so beautiful. I get to the top of the next box and write this perfect sentence. Yes. Here it is. Just the top of the last box. Throw the rest away!

This distraction is going to make me late!




Why I wasn't
supposed to leave.




A Mottled Horse


(Using All of Life)


Cultural Demands

Emotional Hijacking

Sexual Fixation


You have stumbled into a new wing

of the «seishin byooin»,

and you can slip away on the black cat!


This is a new section of taxi1010.com,

for the understanding of negative emotions.

You will always find beautiful artwork here,

and some nice ideas.




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Copyright © 1999-2012


Copyright © 1999-2012

Richard Ames Hart


Amoret Phillips