Well, what's going on here? You don't have to be clever or smart or have a "good attitude" to have a nice life. Just by being a nice simple guy, everything comes your way. (–Source: taxi1010.com stargate79)

[Someone talking past you]
—It's criminal.
—You don't need a mother or father or a government.

"He is a man of splendid capabilities, but utterly corrupt. Like rotten mackerel by moonlight, he shines and stinks." (–John Randolph of Virginia, of Edward Livingston of New York, at the turn of the 18th Century)
—It's criminal.
—My monster.

"He's like most men: rude, lazy, fastidious, and ignorant."
—It's criminal.
—You just plead ignorance.

"Summons for Jury Service, Superior Court of California, County of Alameda ... Failure to respond to this summons will subject you to a fine, a jail term or both. ¶ POSTPONEMENTS: For a postponement, you can call the number listed on the front ...." [Original notification]
—It's criminal.
—What should I do? ... Plenty of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations, unjustified optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, grey areas, and tactical ignorance ... Nothing is important.

"I've got to keep an eye on my CDs when you're around."
—It's criminal.
—Dancing with danger ... There's no need for a fire; the smoke is quite enough.

"Are you going to use this cart? – YES OR NO!"
—It's criminal.
—I hope I'm not saying the wrong thing.

"What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not have seen the joke?" (–Gore Vidal)
—It's criminal.
—There's such a thing as deeper wisdom.

"[I think it's astounding that during an economic crisis, the Obama campaign is] again proving to be the fussiest campaign in American history." (–Nicholle Wallace, a spokeswoman for Mr. McCain)
—It's criminal.
—Right wing, left wing – tastes the same to me!

"I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful."
—It's criminal.
—Wind blows, Rain falls, Fire burns, Earth nourishes, Light shines.

"What does moon fooling do?" [MoonFooling.com]
—It's criminal.
—Gurdjieff was just teaching people to be artists – This particular artist sends away for a five-dollar book on how to read minds.

"And, frankly, anyone who assumes that simply because someone uses humor, satire or irony to address a political situation, they are not serious about that situation, is a fool."
—It's criminal.
—Grab energy from above yourself and concentrate it in your solar plexus.

"I don't get it."
—It's criminal.
—If you play music to people, and say nice things, they heal faster.

"Your attitude shows a pathological need for attention."
—It's criminal.
—I can't help what I say, because I'm talking from myself.

"If you come in with that attitude, you're going to get nowhere. Nowhere!"
—It's criminal.
—You can write it on your mirror.

"Gosh – You look awful!"
—It's criminal.
—It's YOU! – You sneak up.

"There's not usually people walking here." [From a bicyclist who just ploughed into a crowd of pedestrians]
—It's criminal.
—How to pretend you don't have a brain.

"Why did you get a dog that pees in the house?"
—It's criminal.
—Cats are worse – The whole secret is to not get rugs!

"Don't be a pussy."
—It's criminal.
—They're all assholes, anyway.

"They get you either way."
—It's criminal.
—They're not rolling in happiness, are they? ... Hidden scars from the depression.

"You just don't get it."
—It's criminal.
—Anything old.

"What's your best taxi story?"
—It's criminal.
—I speak drunk very well.