Some people have trouble with boundaries. Some cultures have trouble with boundaries. Some entire civilizations have trouble with boundaries. Some beggars have trouble with boundaries. But wait! That's what beggars do! (–Source: taxi1010.com stargate35)

"Look at the fat chick."
—NICE TRY!
—Oh, yes, the national debt is much too high ... or is it?

"You ride in the front – You're the biggest."
—NICE TRY!
—Okay, I will.

"Hey, you're fat!"
—NICE TRY!
—Some people would say that.

"Damn, fat ass, lose some weight."
—NICE TRY!
—Seven fat years, seven lean years ... You can't get too worked up about it ... Don't tease doggies and don't tease anyone bigger than you ... It's better to have different kinds of people ... "Shallow people are the only ones who truly know themselves." (–Oscar Wilde)

"You don't sweat much for a fat lady."
—NICE TRY!
—If you're big, you don't have to be mean.

"You've got fat thighs."
—NICE TRY!
—Probably the only one in town.

"You look pretty good for a fat guy."
—NICE TRY!
—Have you ever heard the expression, "Fat, dumb and happy?"

"Let's go, asshole."
—NICE TRY!
—Get thee behind me, Diarrhea!

"Look, Elephant Girl, just get Carol or something."
—NICE TRY!
—Be seeing you!

"Let's see if I can screw this up again today."
—NICE TRY!
—Making more money than anyone.

"Do you think I look fat in this?"
—NICE TRY!
—Everything but!

"One study described obese patients as 'awkward, unattractive, ugly, and unlikely to comply with treatment.' (This last is significant, because doctors who think patients won't follow their instructions treat and prescribe for them differently.)" (–Harriet Brown, "For Obese People, Prejudice in Plain Sight," NYT, 16 March 2010)
—NICE TRY!
—People ignore their impulses ... They wrap them up in cellophane and tie a ribbon around them ... motivations = impulses ... Most people can't see their impulses ... They just see the results of these impulses going all around.

"Kind of tight today?"
—NICE TRY!
—It's always been that way.

"Putting on a little weight there, huh?"
—NICE TRY!
—Will you get in touch with your humanity?

"How did a little girl like you land a great big job like this?"
—NICE TRY!
—You call yourself a woman?

"What happened to your queer party friends?"
—NICE TRY!
—It's all in your mind.

"Was Richard giving you a mischievous grin?"
—NICE TRY!
—That's stretching it.

"Who picks out your clothes?"
—NICE TRY!
—You don't.

"Are you hard of hearing from listening to loud music or are you just being a prick today?"
—NICE TRY!
—Maybe it's better to leave well enough alone.

"Why can't you play a decent ball game?"
—NICE TRY!
—You're right! – Just pay me!

"Anything would help, Sir! – Anything at all."
—NICE TRY!
—I'm sorry about that.

"Can you help me with something to eat?"
—NICE TRY!
—I support a long stay in warm weather.

"Have you got an extra five dollars?"
—NICE TRY!
—Do you wish you had one of your own?

"Do you have a nickel for five pennies?"
—NICE TRY!
—I don't want to hear anymore.

"Hey man, you got fifteen dollars?"
—NICE TRY!
—I forgot.

[Someone parroting you]
—NICE TRY!
—It's just good to know.

"You may want to start pulling your weight."
—NICE TRY!
—Having trouble already? ... Just do what you're doing; go slow ... Wheelchair 2.0 ... "Whenever a critic says something bad about your work, invite them out to lunch and ask them what they don't like about it." (–W. Somerset Maugham)

"The bank asks if you can cosign this loan."
—NICE TRY!
—That's dangerous – I don't think it's good for me.

"FUCK-FACE!"
—NICE TRY!
—Just to make money, huh?

"You're not going to help make my season jolly?"
—NICE TRY!
—I'm going to do that.

"Will you do my front?" [She's face down on a massage table]
—NICE TRY!
—Maybe ... I've reached the magical age.

"You don't have any diseases, do you?"
—NICE TRY!
—I'm riddled with diseases.