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Nothing more.

 
 

34. Country Boys

 
 
 

The purpose of higher education is to catapult you above and beyond stupid, so with some interest I regarded the man and woman in the back seat of my taxicab as I drove them from Union Square in San Francisco, where they hadn't meant to be, to Union Street, their true destination. When the woman said anything at all, no matter how illogical, the man would sit back and say, "—I'll swear!" or "—Nothing more," in a relaxed Southern drawl. It made me remember simple pleasures, like sitting up on a summer porch with a friend, simply watching life go by. (–Source: taxi1010.com stargate41)

 

«What you don't know about self defense»
Nothing more.
—I taught them everything I know about how to get angry, thinking they'd get over it, and forgot to tell them, at some point, stop being angry!

 

"I've got schadenfreude coming out my ears."
Nothing more.
—You don't hear about it.

 

"Well, you can't have everything."
Nothing more.
—That doesn't bother me.

 

"It's not like you went to Harvard or Yale – What did you expect?"
Nothing more.
—A pat on the back ... The waterfront ... (It's really worse than guilt – They're saying that's your place) ... I took a test! ... I should have done that – I would have learned a lot ... There's no more place ... It's all over now ... I don't think it is ... I think you just find a slab.

 

"You went to Dartmouth?"
Nothing more.
—Friends don't let friends go to college.

 

"What's wrong with you? You only do what you like to do."
Nothing more.
Tell me! ... That's too mechanical ... You can ruin it ... There's no feeling in, What's wrong with you? You only do what you like to do.

 

"Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to reach you for three days!"
Nothing more.
—Drag me to hell! – You read maps?

 

"Were you at work?"
Nothing more.
—Fair winds and following seas, ma'am.

 

"Why haven't you been coming here for lunch?" [Spoken in a low voice, trying to "engage" you]
Nothing more.
—Do what you do! Do what you do best and keep doing it!

 

"Where have you been? Yesterday you're not here."
Nothing more.
—There's no real reason to lock your car up, especially if it's new – What are they going to steal?

 

"Where were you?"
Nothing more.
—Out on the open road!

 

"You just got back?"
Nothing more.
—Nothing exciting.

 

[The hand of your mortal enemy reaching out, extending itself, holding itself stiffly out ...]
Nothing more.
—How do you shake hands with someone who's (1.) milking cows; (2.) sawing wood; (3.) a creepy, crawly spider; (4.) a Roman handshake (Power!) —? ... You're not tired of that yet.

 

"How do you do?"
Nothing more.
—This place is like a country club ... First you introduce yourself; later on you go into depth ... What do you do that interests you? ... It averages out ... Here they don't ... I have to take care of my family.

 

"Hey, didn't you used to have a blog?"
Nothing more.
—What is the right use of emotions? There is none!

 

"What do you do to relax?"
Nothing more.
—The murderer always returns to the scene of the crime.

 

"I don't want to talk to you."
Nothing more.
—It's too late now.

 

"What do you like best so far?" [From a flirting waitress]
Nothing more.
—Let me try it.

 

"What do you think?"
Nothing more.
—I know you can.

 

"I like your costume."
Nothing more.
—This is the big season now.

 

"Why don't you get all excited, Dave?" [Stage directions for himself]
Nothing more.
—He gets exuberant.

 

"Don't be ridiculous!"
Nothing more.
—I am a University graduate!

 

"What's the worst thing you've ever done?"
Nothing more.
—I hurt someone's feelings once.

 

"When did you get here?"
Nothing more.
—There's not much to do.

 

"Tell us what you learned."
Nothing more.
—Don't try to outshine the teacher; they'll just argue with you.

 

"That's ridiculous."
Nothing more.
—You're just supposed to be the one at the front of the plane.

 

[Silly or simple-minded jokes, such as ... (1.) "Does your face hurt?" "No." "Well, it's killing me!" ... (2.) "How do you get a nun pregnant? ... Dress up like a choirboy." -- They're all the same formula]
Nothing more.
—Who wants that?

 

"You should know."
Nothing more.
—Some people say we're the same.

 

"Are you leaving? Hey!"
Nothing more.
Good dog! Guard your master! ... Sleeping Beauty is calling!

 

"You will burn in hell!"
Nothing more.
—Yes, but send me a contract ... Gird your loins and ask for a contract.

 

"He's still a Mama's boy!"
Nothing more.
—Would it do any good?

 

"She who smelt it, dealt it!"
Nothing more.
—Look at that guy go!

 

"What did Karen say when you told her you were going to a stag party?"
Nothing more.
—Go to bed.

 

"Two hundred dollars? – Are you crazy?"
Nothing more.
—Don't tell me it's nothing for you.

 

["Can I use your restroom?"] "No, they mop it."
Nothing more.
—Stop shaking your head! It's your brain wobbling.

 

"Exit only – You got to go that way – Sorry!"
Nothing more.
—I'm not working for you – I am a lamp, I am a mirror, I am a door, I am a way.

 

["I love you."] "You can't!"
Nothing more.
—All over the world.

 
 

 

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