smooth

GRAVEL

32.  Last night I cooked up a Tri Tip steak, sweet corn with cracked pepper and a dab of butter, and polished it off with an entire pint of Greek salad from the deli, an almond teacake, a cup of black coffee and a cigarette. David Daniels once said, "People don't understand happiness and pleasure are attributes of paradise – It has to be earned – It doesn't come from nothing." It all has to do with the reduction of tension. Once I saw a fellow come into the men's room at Yellow Cab, proceed to unzip in front of the long hot and cold water sink by the door, and proceed to urinate there, not realizing the actual urinals were just around the corner. Many times people's fear and tension (unrelieved by drugs) prevent them from seeing things in outside physical reality. In Medieval times, moats surrounding castles were deliberate sewers, filled with shit and piss. If a person's mind is like this, what good is heroin, methamphetamine or marijuana? I'm lucky. I have clear pathways inside my mind all the way back through preschool at St. John's in Houston, back to our house in Colorado Springs when my parents were getting a divorce, to times even before I could walk back in Dodge City, Kansas. It's all clear. And in the present moment, I have pathways from the pit of my intestines, up from my genitals to the right side back of my neck, across a plaza there to the left side back of my neck, guided by the dreams I have at night. And there, near the left side, is the gateway to paradise. (Vision) I see an intricate multithreaded multicolored lanyard of sorts, all interwoven, slowly rotating and shimmering in the light, somehow resembling an artist's rendering of DNA. (Fin) I opened my eyes as I roused myself a little more and looked around my bedroom. Anything I gazed at was clear and bright as a syringe cocked full of crystal meth and cocaine. I remember that, too. Because in my hippie days I probably could have gone on to make a lot of money, though David Daniels flooded that moat with something a lot nicer. Clear running water.