jruit :: 36



When I was seventeen and eighteen years old I was Director of Sailing at a girls' summer camp in Maine, and in the course of those two summers noticed one girl in particular who seemed to emanate some sort of blue light. Amy Donovan. She appeared to pay no particular mind to this phenomenon which emanated from her self, being simply content in being herself. However, to someone noticing these things, and from what I know now, she simply had what the mystics call "being." Now, at this stage of my life, I know exactly how to make direct contact with that "being" in myself, namely, to relax, sense deeply my solar plexus, and pay attention to having vivid impressions inside and outside myself.

Before I left home this afternoon, to catch a glimpse of the girl I love, I make sure to cancel out any stray negativity that another part of me threw up for grabs, namely, that I was being "small-minded" in my pursuit of this woman, who happens to be married to a rather scary guy. First, I entered "small-minded" in the backtalktionary, along with a counterbalancing "script": My mind offers "small-minded," as a form of self-attack, and I counter it with "No need ... How deep?" as the conscious antidote. Then I looked at my watch and set off on my mission.


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