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The Backtalktionary

 

1. The Backtalktionary for Kids is under swift development. It's at [smalltalktionary.com] with three secret links to our magic breathtaking [Zing-Ching-Tarot]. Leave feedback at RichardRoe@aol.com. Thanks!

 

2. When you're high socially, you can live on any level. You learn to complain little, argue sparingly & manifest simple beauty at a very early age. If anyone's mean, you get up & walk out. You could put me in a mental hospital and I'd do all right.

 

“don't

NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

be

—But why? Maybe it's you.

fresh

—See that? A long way.

with

—Networking, eh? Slip off.

me,

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

young

—Quite the contrary. Hands off!

man!”

It just goes to show you.

 

3. “You'll Never Be My Friend.” For some accidental reason one little kid pushes another little kid away and says, “You'll never be my friend!” When you're a toddler, an awful lot of your mind is preverbal, and because this part of you doesn't know how to respond to personal attacks such as “You'll never be my friend” in words, it simply files them away, buries them, and forgets to revisit them as a teenager or young adult. That can be a problem. You can't figure out why it's difficult to make friends. People use reverse clairvoyance to see into other people's minds ... things you may have no idea are there ... and they respond to these perceptions. See the problem? An adult would simply say, “BACK OFF!” & feel the hurt & realize very deeply there are other people. G. I. Gurdjieff wrote “Be courteous to all on the outside, free on the inside.” And a ninety-year-old executive said in an interview, there are two words a person should never forget: “Over!” and “Next!”

 

“you'll

—Very enriching.

never

I hate taking messages.

be

—But why? Maybe it's you.

my

—Thanks for warning me.

friend.”

BACK OFF! Stay back.

 

 

“sometimes

—Here and now. That's all.

not

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

having

—Allegedly. Front & center.

any

—Vicious reasoning. Raw talent.

friends

—Let's go by intuition.

is

—Underneath everything. Like us.

an

—Hold it! What's the password?

advantage.”

ANY TIPS? Get a dog!

 

 

4. “i love you.” If a ninth grade girl from Milton Academy starts writing you love letters, take it with a grain of salt. Earlier, if a fourth grade girl says, “I'll show you mine if you show me yours,” wait to get total when your stepfather can't catch you. And later, if your own mind tells you to jump out the window of an NYC hotel on Thanksgiving Day, remind it to SHUT THE HELL UP & kindly refrain from murdering what you shall become.

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

love

—The best ever. I hardly knew.

you.”

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

 

 

“WHAT

—At all? Are you a thief?

WERE

—Very mysterious. So wrong!

YOU

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

DOING

Catching up. A lot more.

IN

—Notice the wetness & the star field.

THERE?”

—A 100 miles of crooked road.

 

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

should

—If you can afford to. Go back.

commit

—It's terrible. BUNK! I'm torn.

suicide.”

—You quit too soon. After you!

 

 

5. “Restroom For Customer Only!” No one would reject you this way on a military base. Welcome to the world of sticking up for yourself! To the world of taxi1010.com & learning how to CLEAR YOUR PIPES & say something back. The Coast Guard, Army, Navy, Air Force & Marines actually do have public latrines, full employment & universal housing. And if a military commandant (mayor of the city) did have unemployed, homeless or restricted plumbing, they'd lose their job. In any event, out here in the Land of Make-believe, it's nice to find something to say back, to have “an attitude,” to be refreshingly fresh.

 

“restroom

Certainly not. For now.

for

—Helping out. They never know.

customer

—Come back to your vices.

only!”

—Not so! Who'd that be?

 

6. If I met me, I wouldn't believe a word I say, so ... I just wanted to get that out of my system. It's sort of like telling a police officer after a traffic stop, “If I had come to a complete stop, I'd still be there, now wouldn't I?” So here I am, trembling like a leaf! When anything you do or say in the presence of an incensed police officer is the wrong thing to do or say, Tremble Like a Leaf! And so ends the sixth lesson in Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense.

 

7. I am seventy years old and evidently a little dodgy, which makes total sense. I was born in Dodge City, Kansas. My grandfather, Harry Ames Hart, had a savings & loan, and on paper probably owned half the city. He had enough money to send my father to Harvard, who, by the time I met him, coached debate at Colorado College. Later, my friends would say I argued a little too much, so I took it upon myself to learn how not to argue. I mean, why not?

 

8. So when I had just spat into a trash can at the airport the other day, after I'd cleared my throat, a police officer wheeled up on a bicycle and mumbled something in a menacing way. I moved closer. He said, “Did you see anything in there you like?” Now remember, I'm learning how not to argue. He repeated, “Was there anything in there you like?” My speechless phase soon passed, and I simply said, “I was just spitting.” He belligerently said, “Nothing worth spitting on? Is that what you're saying?” I couldn't control myself: “Should I have spat on the floor?” The officer said, “I didn't see any spit,” so I pointed over to the finely polished SFO trash can and told him to go see for himself. Well, that did it. Soon he had me kneeling on the floor (consciously trembling!) while he called his dispatch to do whatever the hell they do when they talk to dispatch. I slowly stood up with the dignity of an Original American. When I was three or four years old two men took me into a bathroom and locked the door while my parents and their friends carried on with their bacchanal party. The men did something to me from behind, which was a total shock to my system, and afterwards, I just remember curling up on the floor and listening to people screaming. I came to realize on some level I had become a living crime scene, court appearance and all, and now here I was some sixty-seven years downstream in the River of Time, trying to make sense of all these things on the deepest level. Maybe I'm the embodiment of a lifelong crime wave.

 

“nothing

At all? Are you a thief?

worth

—Until now. You never know.

spitting

Most surprising to me.

on?”

They do. They come undone.

 

 

“is

—Underneath everything. Like us.

that

—I guess. Leave me out of it!

what

—At all? Are you a thief?

you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

saying.”

I think it's easy to overstate.

 

9. The Backtalktionary (a.k.a. “Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense”) helps you find responses to verbal violence word-by-word. It's artificial intelligence for the rest of us. My name is Richard Ames Hart, and my sister, Amoret Phillips, is the taxi1010.com artist. Here's how “Each Word Talks Back” works in everyday life:

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

are

—On & off. Change itself.

stupid.”

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

 

10. Since we're not stupid, we provide a multitude of choices to clear your mind of the attack.

 

“really?”

—BELIEVE me. You'll see.

 

A dictionary or a thesaurus does the same thing. They provide MULTIPLE CHOICES from which to choose. So do we.

 

“yeah!”

No trouble! Backätcha.

“enjoy.”

—Top to bottom. Before long!

“duuhhh!”

—You're smarter than that.

“thanks!”

No trouble! Backätcha.

“smile!”

—BE HONEST! Completed.

“witch!”

—You're on to something.

 

 

“any

Vicious reasoning. Raw talent.

visitors?”

—Far reaching. On short notice.

 

 

“Apple Watch?”

—Nothing yet. It is.

 

 

“good

A rumor. So far. So long!

answer!”

—Anything except. I do accept.

 

 

“you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

an

Hold it! What's the password?

angel.”

That can't be right. Atomic.

 

 

“fuck

—Forget that! Claw hook!

you!”

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

 

 

“good!”

—A rumor. So far. So long!

 

12. Look for a SINGLE comeback that serves your purpose. It's easy!

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

think

—Family & friends. Each of us.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

should

—If you can afford to. Go back.

apologize.”

I'm singing in the pain!

 

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

get

Indeed. All untangled.

it!”

—Watch & wait. Back to you.

 

13. They don't teach this stuff in schools, though they should. That's because of the I.T. problem: “Irresponsible Teachers.” (Whenever I mention the I.T. problem, you should actually think “Irresponsible Teachers.”) It's similar to mentioning the “N-word,” making us think “Nigger!” It's all on account of the I.T. problem. Our society is all fucked up due to the I.T. problem & their sheep-like adherence to so-called political correctness. Soon we'll be reading The N-word of the ‘Narcissus’ by Joseph Conrad. There IS such a thing as Denzel Washington, who definitely isn't a nigger. He's a distinguished member of the dark-skinned people. Just saying!

 

“just

—Dark & verby. Oh, man!

saying!”

—I think it's easy to overstate.

 

14. The phrase “Fuck you!” is really a cover-up for “Kill you!” which is derived from “I'll kill you!” and its healthy partner, “I hate you!” Think of a four-year-old boy crying out “I hate you!” to his mother, then being punished by his father. Then the boy covers the whole experience with shame & buries it under sheetrock & paints the inner cocoon wall elephant pink. It takes about three days to complete.

 

“don't

—NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

talk

—What then? You don't count.

to

—No rush. Too much, too soon.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

mother

—If you can afford to. Go back.

that

—I guess. Leave me out of it!

way!”

—Stand by. As fast as that.

 

15. So he grows up NOT saying “I hate you!” or “I'll kill you!” or “Kill you!” (which are honest expressions of anger.) Instead he goes around THINKING “Fuck you!” It helps to understand what's underneath everything, and how things are disguised. They'll never uncover it in school because of the I.T. problem.

 

“what

—At all? Are you a thief?

is

—Underneath everything. Like us.

the

—That's a switch. Not quite.

fear?”

—Back in the woods.

 

16. The Backtalktionary itself provides all the words in alphabetic order, and eventually you can [click here] and go there. No ads, no requests, no scams. This is because Amoret and I are pretty much hippies, and along with Al Gore, the actual inventors of the Internet. Think of it, you I.T. problem! How often have you devoted twenty-four years of your precious lives to further the development of humanity for free? By the way, shouldn't Artificial Intelligence be a little more than “proving the machine is smart?” Sure, Google, IBM, Microsoft & Apple are smart. But what about the rest of us? Does exercise equipment run around trying to prove it's a big strong piece of machinery, growing stronger every day? No! Exercise equipment helps PEOPLE grow stronger. That's one of the ways Artificial Intelligence might pan out ... making YOU more capable in everyday life! Teaching you Italian, perhaps. Or Bulgarian. For free!

 

17. Amoret and I work hard. Eventually we'll solve both the I.T. problem and the IRS problem. Honest people with connections will figure out how to monetize all this. Then we can refute the taxman's claim “this is a hobby.” Ha! I refuse to fight with them.

 

“is

—Underneath everything. Like us.

this

—All around me. Don't panic!

a

—For later. Brilliant.

hobby

Afraid not. You'll be first up.

then?”

—Refreshing. Expensive!

 

18. Don't fight with a pig in a sty, they say, because the pig likes it! And in the heat of the moment, if they continue to entice you with presents & insults, which you refuse to accept, who gets to keep them? Stay up on the sidewalk! There's other people. Gail Collins might be someone to listen to. She writes for The New York Times, and today, Thanksgiving Day, 2016, her column is entitled, “Carving Donald Trump.” She says, “Over the past couple of years I have noted on several occasions that Donald Trump once sent me a letter saying I had the face of a dog ... In the name of accuracy, however, I have to correct the record. I dug out Trump's missive the other day and discovered he did not actually say I looked like a dog. He said I was ‘a dog and a liar’ with the face of a pig.”

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

have

—Might could. Survival.

the

—That's a switch. Not quite.

face

So foolish. An ice palace.

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

a

For later. Brilliant.

dog.”

—Nothing special. Any one.

 

 

“actually,

—By now. A turnaround.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

are

—On & off. Change itself.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

dog,

—Nothing special. Any one.

and

Going up! So soon?

a

—For later. Brilliant.

liar,

—Nothing urgent. Rats!

with

—Networking, eh? Slip off.

the

That's a switch. Not quite.

face

—So foolish. An ice palace.

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

pig.”

—Small world. If we agreed.

 

19. By the way, we also get around to providing responses to [generalized attacks]. For instance, if someone begins an [argument] for some cockeyed theory, you can simply switch sides from what you actually think! They say, “I don't believe in global warming,” and you can say back, “I know, right?” For another instance, if someone says something sarcastically (which forces you to fork your mind along two simultaneous paths), you can cop both paths at once, by saying, “Well-grounded!” For a third instance, they [sarcastically] say, “Oh, yeah! We're really having global warming,” and you say ... “Well, the temperature of the earth's inner core is about 10,800 F, which is annoying the hell out of Godzilla, and besides, we have real estate sales pending in Miami Beach, so please, Don't Rock the Boat!” No. I didn't mean to say all that. I meant to say, “Well-grounded!”

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

don't

—NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

believe

—Rule all the buttons & release!

in

—Notice the wetness & the star field.

global

—Why would you? Can't miss.

warming.”

I know, right? Try it on.

 

20. RIGHT OFF THE TOP: White people believe they're descendants of kings, and black people believe they're descendants of slaves. That's all nonsense. We are all, every one of us, descendants of survivors! They all made it in brutal times, and they managed to do goodies and make children. It's universal. That's truth. Anyone walking around today who is actually alive is far superior to all dead people. Put a live person next to a bowl of ashes and you will instantly see the difference. Who's better? Shakespeare or you? You! Shakespeare is an ash! His art was to send reflections of experiences down the River of Time. And even if a person does believe they're the descendent of a king, does it amount to more than a tiny spark? We can do much to protect nurturing ideas of all sorts by cultivating the soil of simple humanity.

Topher Sanders, a reporter on racial inequality for ProPublica, described in The New York Times how a little white girl told Mr. Sanders' 5-year-old son what he can and can't do because of his skin color. [“Only white people,” said a little girl. I heard it but I wasn't quite sure what I heard. “Not you, you're black,” said the girl, reaching out to touch my son. “You're not white. Only white people can play.”] Here at taxi1010.com you can learn what to say back, even if you're five years old. You just have to be slightly worse than the other person, a little educated. Topher Sanders' article is called “‘Only White People’ Said the Little Girl,” in Opinion: The Sunday Review: The New York Times, October 16, 2016. In what follows you can find responses to individual words. Your job is to simply pick and choose from an assortment.

 

“only

—Not so! Who'd that be?

white

Eggshells. They're cracking.

people.”

—Sight unseen. Ever hopeful.

 

 

“not

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

you,

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

black.”

TOO BAD! Harm each other.

 

 

“you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

not

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

white.

—Eggshells. They're cracking.

only

—Not so! Who'd that be?

white

Eggshells. They're cracking.

people

—Sight unseen. Ever hopeful.

can

—What you least expect. Edgy.

play.”

Royal blood. Imaginatively.

 

21. The whole idea of this website is to sit up on a fence somewhere in your childhood and learn how to respond to onslaughts of insincerity, word by word. If you can do it, you can trick the other person into being real or genuine. Essentially, there's different kinds of music, and you can quickly learn to suss out hostility so you can either get away, or have some fun. (For instance, playing “Cowboys and Originals” :: cowandori.com || shaqeonit.com when you were a child.)

 

“how

—A fine kettle. Pretty direct.

are

—On & off. Change itself.

you?”

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

 

 

“how's

—Aye-sí easy. Effortless.

it

—Watch & wait. Back to you.

going?”

—Not too busy. Elsewhere.

 

 

“hey,

—Dollars make a huge impact.

what's

—Yin or Yang. Not available.

up?”

—Coming down. Side pony!

 

 

“what's

—Yin or Yang. Not available.

going

—Not too busy. Elsewhere.

on?”

They do. They come undone.

 

 

“that's

—Saved again! Being deceived.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

specialty.”

See that? A long way.

 

 

“wow,

—That's a switch. Not quite.

a

For later. Brilliant.

man

—It just goes to show you.

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

many

—BELIEVE me. You'll see.

talents.”

—Left! To die for my country.

 

 

“good

—A rumor. So far. So long!

luck

All rightie then. With a map!

with

—Networking, eh? Slip off.

everything.”

—Nothing but beauty.

 

 

“have

Might could. Survival.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

good

—A rumor. So far. So long!

one.”

It's higher. Totally higher.

 

When you know what to say back to irrational speech, the effect is inocular. People take one look at you and see you're immune. They don't even try to say certain things. They don't even try.

 

“go

Dude! Keep track of that.

to

—No rush. Too much, too soon.

hell.”

—SETTLE DOWN! Ride share!

 

 

“go

Dude! Keep track of that.

back

—Dollars make a huge impact.

to

—No rush. Too much, too soon.

where

Home free! Out there!

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

came

—That's a switch. Not quite.

from.”

That's a spin. Draw down.

 

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

should

—If you can afford to. Go back.

go

—Dude! Keep track of that.

to

—No rush. Too much, too soon.

Safeway.

—How's that? Is it cheap?

this

All around me. Don't panic!

store

—Not too busy. Elsewhere.

is

—Underneath everything. Like us.

for

—Helping out. They never know.

white

Eggshells. They're cracking.

people.”

—Sight unseen. Ever hopeful.

 

22. Imagine an original world in which you never knew what to say back. If someone insulted you, you'd feel bad, get really angry, or suddenly find yourself in a fierce argument with a total stranger. Maybe you'd pretend to be deaf. Soon you'd be roaming the world feeling hurt, angry, cut-off or numb. However, if you had it to do all over again, wouldn't it be nice to wind the clock back and respond with something totally satisfactory? To have an optimal response? For each particular situation? Annoying small talk would melt away. Confrontations would disappear. Many nice things might happen and you could begin to get mystical. You cannot control someone else's behavior, but you can control how you respond to it.

 

“why

I'm begging for cookies.

say

—Where's the redwood coming?

anything

—It's higher. Totally higher.

back

—Dollars make a huge impact.

at

—How so? Most of us don't.

all?”

—The less it is, it falls apart.

 

23. A hundred thousand years ago we went separate ways, and now here we are, reconnected. Where on earth have you been?

This website provides specific alternative ways to respond to difficult people, the ones who don't know we all come from the same place, by marrying comebacks to “trigger words.”

 

“sorry

—Unpredictable. An elevator.

but

—I know, right? Try it on.

I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

don't

—NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

understand

—I'm a stranger here myself.

anything

—It's higher. Totally higher.

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

what

—At all? Are you a thief?

you've

—The reverse! That's enough.

written

—Try again. Not what you think.

on

—They do. They come undone.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

site.”

What you least expect. Edgy.

 

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

can't

—Under the full moon. A ladder.

teach

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

common
sense.”

—That's what you say!
Outside!

 

24. Let's get right to the heart of the estrangement: In our modern standoffish culture, it feels as if people are trying to distance themselves from the world with a remote control. Understandably, this makes children, drifters, teenagers & the economically pinned-down feel alienated, cut-off, isolated, ignored & insignificant. Wow! We do better with dogs. So what brings about the deep-rooted disaffection prompting separateness? You want restrictions on plants, animals; they want restrictions on you. Irrational speech is both a symptom and an enabler of frosty attitudes. Anything to avoid messy intimacy. Look around! Fences everywhere. There must be some nourishment in the soil, some way to break the spell! Arf! Arf!

 

“huh?

If you say so. Trust me.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

remote

—Dollars make a huge impact.

control?”

—How's that? Is it cheap?

 

25. Remember when you were a kid and thought it would be handy to know what to say back even before you were gazing through a palisade halfway up the stairs? In France they call it L'esprit de l'escalier, The Wisdom of the Staircase:

 

“are

—On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

who

—Shift change! On the job.

what

At all? Are you a thief?

where

—Home free! Out there!

when

—I'm living for that. Way back!

why

I'm begging for cookies.

how

—A fine kettle. Pretty direct.

which

—How amusing. I live there.

this

—All around me. Don't panic!

that

—I guess. Leave me out of it!

excuse

—More than anything else.

me

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

I'm

—Approximately. Inside.

sorry,

—Unpredictable. An elevator.

how's

—Aye-sí easy. Effortless.

it

—Watch & wait. Back to you.

going

—Not too busy. Elsewhere.

and

—Going up! So soon?

what's

—Yin or Yang. Not available.

up?”

—Coming down. Side pony!

 

26. “How old are you?” Whenever anyone asks you any question at all, they're making a demand. They're demanding you answer their bizarre question! Many people confuse having someone under their thumb with liking them. Are they running a locomotive determined to flatten you out? The question behind “How old are you?” happens to be “How many times has the earth spiralled around the sun since you were born?” and why the hell should you tell them? What are they, a goddamn astrophysicist?

 

“how

—A fine kettle. Pretty direct.

old

Oh, I'll get over it. Too soon.

are

—On & off. Change itself.

you?”

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

 

27. It's not simply that people have buttons other people can push. People have a whole panel of buttons other people can get a hold of, often expressing ill-intent by their tone of voice. They try to go around collapsing other people's dreams. Fortunately the Backtalktionary has a whole slew of defenses from which to choose, depending on the situation, the personal history, and the tag team of psychic bad actors involved.

 

“does

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

it

—Watch & wait. Back to you.

make

—Why bother? Doesn't matter.

any

Vicious reasoning. Raw talent.

money?”

—Debt free! I am a flight risk!

 

 

“yeah ...

No trouble! Backätcha.

if

—Far better! Don't laugh.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

say

—Where's the redwood coming?

so.”

Helping out. They never know.

 

 

“keep

—If you say so. Trust me.

me

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

in

—Notice the wetness & the star field.

the

That's a switch. Not quite.

loop.”

—Penny-pinching! Best not to.

 

28. What is the underlying force of bullying? In a political context, Samuel P. Huntington writes, “The architects of power in the United States must create a force that can be felt but not seen. Power remains strong when it remains in the dark; exposed to the sunlight it begins to evaporate.” —American Politics: The Promise of Disharmony (Cambridge MA: Harvard University Press, 1981), p. 75. When someone says something irrational, they are conjuring up power. They are hitting you in the imagination! To the inner child “I don't understand anything you've written” means just anything! Your own mind brings total belief to an expression of power. To bring sunlight to this bullying tactic, apply reason by learning to get very specific: “—Anything goofy.

 

“don't

NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

let

—No turning point. See it change.

the

—That's a switch. Not quite.

bastards

Sight unseen. Ever hopeful.

get

—Indeed. All untangled.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

down.”

Going up! So soon?

 

29. Is this an interview or a conversation? From emptiness or from innocence? “Two reeds drink from the same stream. One grows to become hollow; the other becomes a sugar cane.” (–The Mathnawí of Jalálu'ddin Rúmí, 1282 AD, line 270) I overheard a little girl at a Japanese restaurant in Berkeley in 2016 putting it a third way: “I'm craving some fried chicken!” she said. I also overheard a telephone interrogation in my taxicab: “What's the scoop? Tell me the scoop! How long ago? I'm reamed! I'm pissed! There'll be consequences.”

 

“what's

—Yin or Yang. Not available.

the

—That's a switch. Not quite.

scoop?

—You said it! No set limit.

tell

—What about loafing? You do you!

me

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

the

—That's a switch. Not quite.

scoop!

—You said it! No set limit.

how

—A fine kettle. Pretty direct.

long

—Hard to know. Many moons!

ago?

—Ambush! Control yourself!

I'm

—Approximately. Inside.

reamed!

—Is that safe? Wrong place.

I'm

—Approximately. Inside.

pissed!

—Unpredictable. An elevator.

there'll

—That's a spin. Draw down.

be

—But why? Maybe it's you.

consequences.”

Heavy duty. SNAKE PIT!

 

30. Nature puts divide and conquer to wildly good effect. The roots of trees fan out under the soil to become nothing but capillaries, conquering the wetness. We divide highways into lanes to conquer helter-skelter traffic. We divide beliefs into channels as well. The wealthy invented racism to divide and conquer the poor. What if we could pop out of the channels of misery that separate us? Maybe ex-slaves & ex-cons could cobble together labor unions to build secret penitentiaries on Indian lands to lock up entitulates, pharaohs and inner tyrants. What if we could pop out of phony beliefs such as “You are a piece of crap!” which, through repetition, has been etched – practically engraved – under a blanket of shame? That's what this website is about, to divide “you” “are” “a” “piece” “of” “crap” into atoms, to examine every single word, then use new associations to pop out of the channel. The way a baby pops out from the divide and conquer of actual life! Liberation!

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

are

On & off. Change itself.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

piece

—I'm a stranger here myself.

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

crap.”

—Small world. If we agreed.

 

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

know

—I do. You orbit. Amazing!

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

don't

—NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

like

—I'm ready. New to me.

doing

—Catching up. A lot more.

the

That's a switch. Not quite.

laundry.”

—It's terrible. BUNK! I'm torn.

 

31. There's an underlying idea that people can help each other. It's very powerful. Social linguistics can get you off the hook a little so you can go about caring for yourself and for other people. You can learn to repel difficult people and to turn yourself into a magnet for attracting the kind of rich experiences that can open into the flower of a wonderful life. You do not need to shoot up heroin to do this. You can prepare yourself for deeper and finer impressions.

 

“are

On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

crazy?”

Probably. With employees.

 

 

“are

On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

gay?”

—Not intentionally. Just you?

 

 

“are

—On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

coming

—Funny that you're interested.

or

—Not yet. Very authentic.

going?”

—Not too busy. Elsewhere.

 

 

“are

On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

a

For later. Brilliant.

procrastinator?”

—Most surprising to me.

 

 

“are

On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

married?”

—Funny that you're interested.

 

32. If our culture was serious about human beings sticking up for themselves in the face of bullies, a million people would know about this website. It's hard to believe, many grown-ups simply want children to suffer. And out of compassion, children will do it! People want children to stay in the dark. And people in the dark want to reserve their right to be treated like furniture. Sit on me, I'm a driver, a server, a maid, a debtor, a bookend, a nobody. Please sit on me! I've got your back! I promise to sit up straighter!

 

“hey!

—Dollars make a huge impact.

keep

If you say so. Trust me.

my

—Thanks for warning me.

name

Dignity. Crying.

out

—If you can afford to. Go back.

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

mouth!

—Small world. If we agreed.

give

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

me

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

lunch

—Where's the redwood coming?

money!”

—Debt free! I am a flight risk!

 

33. Some people hate meaning. They hate warmth, kindness, and they have no sense of humor about their own anger. They're hardly ever original, so it's easy to prepare for their irrational rage in advance. You can practice.

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

need

Who doesn't? Have faith.

to

—No rush. Too much, too soon.

move!

Debt free! I am a flight risk!

MOVE!

—Debt free! I am a flight risk!

NOW!”

—Stick around! One's enough.

 

34. An undercover investigative reporter asked a man at a Donald Trump rally why he was voting for Trump, and the man replied, “Have you heard of Putin?” It's the kind of question – a rhetorical question – that leaves you speechless. It's a Big Pickle, or a predicament. The Backtalktionary creates an associative ladder to help you climb right back up out of a sticky wicket.

 

“have

Might could. Survival.

you

Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

heard

—All rightie then. With a map!

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

Putin?”

Coming down. Side pony!

 

35. Even a child can learn how to cultivate a low-rent worldliness without trigger warnings. Say very little. Go slow and be specific. Sometimes a bully is just trying to shock you & put you on the spot. How about Silver Bullet warnings? You can be very matter-of-fact about these things.

 

“what's

—Yin or Yang. Not available.

up,

—Coming down. Side pony!

nigga?”

—Most surprising to me.

 

 

“suck

WORK HARDER! Always.

my

—Thanks for warning me.

cock!”

—TOO BAD! Harm each other.

 

 

“can't

—Under the full moon. A ladder.

we

—So foolish. An ice palace.

be

—But why? Maybe it's you.

friends?”

Let's go by intuition.

 

36. “How much rent do you pay?” strikes me as an intrusive question. They don't even ask where I stable my horses, let alone how many thoroughbreds we own. Does the person who asked me, “How much rent do you pay?” even intend to buy horses? I have no idea. You'd think they'd ask members of their own family.

 

“how

—A fine kettle. Pretty direct.

much

—The hot grill! Break us all.

rent

—Don't worry. Never buy horses.

do

—Why would you? Can't miss.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

pay?”

—In a way. I've earned it.

 

37. If a child cries out, “That's not fair!” over many days and in many different situations, the little kid may simply be trying to find out what an adult might say back to their own mind. You can experiment to see what works. To quiet your own mind. You'll know. Myself, I'd simply say, “I'll live,” to show the child they can't trick me into feeling guilty. I'd repeat it, too. “I'll live.”

 

“that's

—Saved again! Being deceived.

not

I'll live. Taking it way too far.

fair!”

—No sweat. Either way.

 

 

“that's

Saved again! Being deceived.

what

At all? Are you a thief?

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

say!”

—Where's the redwood coming?

 

The trouble with books on Nonviolent Communication (–Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD, 2003) or Taking the War Out of Our Words (–Sharon Strand Ellison, 2007) is they're heaping on too many theories! What we're up to here is taking away from the scheming mind, not adding to it. So a person's communication can become clear and transparent. After all, we're not psychotherapists, are we? Does a kid really want to talk to a control freak?

38. (a.) Insults evolve to bypass reason and hit you in the emotions. (b.) Passed from bully to bully, they provide the temporary illusion of strength. (c.) Insults also catch you by surprise. (d.) Often, you haven't heard the insult in such a long time, you're too shocked to know what to do about it. (e.) An example of such an insult is, “Don't get your panties in a bunch!” (f.) You could say nothing or respond in kind by saying something equally debilitating, for example, “You're confused!” or “Is that an insult?” (g.) However, this just fuels the so-called Discount-Revenge loop, essentially trying to diminish the other person, then coming back with all cylinders loaded. (h.) There is a fourth way, alluded to in P. D. Ouspensky's In Search of the Miraculous (1949), and in Idries Shah's The Sufis (1964). (i.) Both these books allude to the existence of something inside you akin to a magic genie residing in an inner lamp. You begin to get the idea you can search for this lamp inside you, where all the magic resides, and open it. (j.) When you hear an insult, and give something right back, your inner jinni also hears the insult & what you say back, and briefly shares your tension, or pain, then releases the tension along with the pain. It's a question of overriding the insult inside yourself, even if it's a day later! (k.) You want to say something back to reassure this inner entity, and help it grow through & beyond the pain. Don't let your self hold on to the insult, because with its magic it could unknowingly transform the wound into a Flower of Mental Illness. (l.) You also don't want to say something back which makes your inner entity feel insulted, such as, “You're confused!” (m.) Instead, you want to say something to encourage it, to give it due respect, and to allow it to shine through, mingled among your own sense of humor. (n.) Ironically, when you show respect for and speak to your inner jinnee in such a way, you're also showing kindness and respect to the bully in the outside physical world who originally cried out, “Don't get your panties in a bunch!” (o.) It's win-win. (p.) You help yourself grow through it, you help the bully grow through it. (q.) And you certainly don't have to explain yourself! (r.) You can't just ignore slights, lies, or insults, because your genie has already heard them! (s.) You have to defend its inglenook of inner magic! (t.) The bully says something in the River of Time, then you say a little something in the River of Time, even if it's a day later! (u.) What THEY say comes in to you & what YOU say back comes back in to you as well, and has the potential to help you grow. (v.) It may seem awkward at first, like a little sprout in the soil.

 

“don't

—NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

get

—Indeed. All untangled.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

panties

Smarten up! Not allowed.

in

—Notice the wetness & the star field.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

bunch.”

—So sad! I don't do that stuff.

 

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

just

—Dark & verby. Oh, man!

ignore

Here and now. That's all.

them.”

Naturally. A downward spiral.

 

39. A certain kind of person can pepper you with pressure questions, taking advantage of your upbringing or natural kindness. Sometimes it's useful to raise the tension slightly just to find out what they may be up to. Think of your responses to the hot grill as simply real-world theater, with you a bit player. It's useful to experiment & rehearse. Contrary to what a third-grade teacher might have demanded from you to Just answer the question! there are clever ways to evade unwarranted scrutiny if you're deep inside the shadow of Indian Territory: “I'm an American!”

 

“my

—Thanks for warning me.

name

Dignity. Crying.

is

—Underneath everything. Like us.

Kevin ...

Next time! I am your teacher.

what's

—Yin or Yang. Not available.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

name?”

Dignity. Crying.

 

 

“who's

—Don't worry. Never buy horses.

this

—All around me. Don't panic!

fine

—Go slow! Be specific.

creature?

—Live it up! No supervision!

introduce

Next time! I am your teacher.

me!”

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

 

 

“who's

—Don't worry. Never buy horses.

got

—Let the machinery work.

the

—That's a switch. Not quite.

tab?

Who doesn't? Have faith.

can

—What you least expect. Edgy.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

pay

—In a way. I've earned it.

for

—Helping out. They never know.

it?”

—Watch & wait. Back to you.

 

 

“just

—Dark & verby. Oh, man!

answer

—Anything except. I do accept.

the

—That's a switch. Not quite.

question!”

Points talking to? Any action?

 

40. There is an inherent clash between (a.) people who seem “literal-minded” and ( b.) people who seem attached to “feelings” or “streams of associations.” The first group sees themselves as “listening to irrational demands” and the second group sees themselves as “being friendly.” The Backtalktionary is an attempt to bridge this gap – before these two kinds of people swiftly fly apart. What members of each group have in common is they all once were children with a capacity to learn & respond to warmth, kindness and a sense of humor.

 

“are

On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

out

—If you can afford to. Go back.

for

—Helping out. They never know.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

walk?”

Saved again! Being deceived.

 

 

“you're

Naïve. There's no limit.

not

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

working

—But why? Maybe it's you.

today?”

—Liberty. The time is included?

 

41. In general, if someone is attacking you, try to take yourself out of it and always come back to [intimidation]. They're trying to intimidate you. Say either “Who knows?” or “Prolific.” Before that you might have been tempted to leap into an [argument] with someone else, a nitwit. Simply agree with the nitwit by saying either “I know, right?” or “Hot enough.” Before that, they might have cleverly changed the subject on you. We might call that context [switching]. Then there's [fantasy], [parables], [sarcasm] and outright [bullshit]. My favorite generalized attack is from the cowardly [trojan horse]. They gaze directly into your eyes and repeat cruel pathetic sheep sounds they attribute to their entourage. You gaze directly back into their eyes and say, “Dead & infected.”

 

[lying in wait]

—Heavy duty. SNAKE PIT!

[fake news]

—That's a spin. Draw down.

[interruption]

—Not yet. Very authentic.

[tension]

—OUCH. It's insane.

[deals]

—Two in a row. Someone might.

[being pulled]

Unpredictable. An elevator.

[nosedive]

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

[mind games]

—If you say so. Trust me.

[regard]

—Yin or Yang. Not available.

[insolence]

—Oh, yeah? Says you!

[dreams]

—Never enough. At midnight.

[switching]

—That's a switch. Not quite.

[cockeyed]

—Very mysterious. So wrong!

[tangle]

—It's terrible. BUNK! I'm torn.

[screaming]

—At all? Are you a thief?

[whack jobs]

—Stand by. As fast as that.

[prejudice]

—Not so! Who'd that be?

[transfer]

—Naïve. There's no limit.

[negative]

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

[sharing]

—Not much. ROAD KILL!

[shadowing]

—Dude! Keep track of that.

[third person]

—Oh, yeah! More fingers.

[racism]

—Eggshells. They're cracking.

[testing you]

Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

[kidding]

—Not too busy. Elsewhere.

[grapple]

—Approximately. Inside.

[lying]

—Stick around! One's enough.

[parroting]

—Economically brilliant.

[questions]

—You wonder. What's up?

[more lies]

—Indeed. All untangled.

[revenge]

—I must be a magnet.

[deception]

—Debt free! I am a flight risk!

[veiled hatred]

—A rumor. So far. So long!

[hostility]

—Very different. Look away!

[ramping]

—Ke-mo sah-be. You got me!

[gutter snipe]

—Go slow! Be specific.

[potshots]

—Living rough. Very loyal.

[viciousness]

Why bother? Doesn't matter.

[trojan horse]

—Dead & infected. So much!

[pivoting]

—Cunning ferocity. In case.

[argument]

—I know, right? Try it on.

[grilling]

—Not recently. Seriously?

[just curious]

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

[intrusion]

—God forbid! Not much there.

[self-attack]

—Awkward. Not remotely.

[body]

Isn't that bizarre? Could be worse.

[fantasy]

—I'll bet. All those people.

[parables]

—Yeah, sure. Not so much.

[sarcasm]

—And more! Well-grounded.

[bullshit]

—I've heard. It's all overrated.

[drain]

—What are the odds? More so!

[projects]

—Dollars make a huge impact.

[suggestion]

If you can afford to. Go back.

[tar pits]

—Wild, huh? Laundry and all.

[interview]

—That's what you say! Outside!

[theater]

—Nothing but beauty.

[persona]

—I'm a stranger here myself.

[façade]

—Under the full moon. A ladder.

[morbidity]

—Anything else? The towel?

[vigilante]

All rightie then. With a map!

[relentless]

—On & off. Change itself.

[bad cop]

—Hardly. Quite unnecessary.

[good cop]

—It's maddening. Close call!

[backbiting]

—Not today. Persevere.

[sympathy]

—Not at all. It's no picnic.

[death]

—It's very rough. On the beach.

[intimidation]

—Who knows? Prolific.

 

42. Like many people, I am a little like Albert Einstein — a little young, a little autistic & a little wrong.

Not many people know, Mr. Einstein spent the last years of his life at Princeton University intensely studying and perfecting social skills.

Even in the face of distressed observers of life who seem noticeably theatrical. You can almost see them sinking in the tar pits of their own viciousness, trying to suck the joy out of passers-by!

 

“that's

Saved again! Being deceived.

not

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

my

—Thanks for warning me.

problem!”

It just goes to show you.

 

43. My name is Richard Ames Hart. I live in Berkeley, California USA under e-mail RichardRoe@aol.com — I can afford to respond a little bit as long as I'm alive. Meanwhile, here's some of what I know.

44. Many people, especially clerks and servers at retail institutions, see interpersonal communications as a form of warfare, I'm not sure why.

 

“how

—A fine kettle. Pretty direct.

are

—On & off. Change itself.

you

Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

doing

—Catching up. A lot more.

today?”

—Liberty. The time is included?

 

 

“haven't

Go on! That's excessive.

seen

—You didn't pay for college.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

in

—Notice the wetness & the star field.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

while.”

Likewise. By name alone.

 

 

“have

—Might could. Survival.

a

For later. Brilliant.

good

A rumor. So far. So long!

one.”

—It's higher. Totally higher.

 

 

“enjoy!”

—Top to bottom. Before long!

 

45. See how you can pick and choose a response to each “trigger word” that seems to make sense? This is the Backtalktionary, that goes in the opposite direction of a dictionary, with responses to words, as opposed to the historical meanings or ancient etymologies of words. Potential responses clarify the true meaning of a bracketing sentence! We are embedded in the River of Time. We are embedded in our own lives!

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

don't

NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

get

—Indeed. All untangled.

it!”

Watch & wait. Back to you.

 

46. When someone targets you, they're really going after fleeting shadows. Ask yourself, why on earth would shell-shocked children or beaten dogs begin to attack shadows? That's the other person! Come back to your own light. You don't have to be alone with anyone's shadow play. Their deft tricks are taking you away from what you believe, or what you're conscious of.

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

think

—Family & friends. Each of us.

you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

better

—On schedule. No pressure.

than

You want it. Say it!

me?”

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

 

 

“you're

Naïve. There's no limit.

not

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

comfortable

Wise up! Back away!

in

—Notice the wetness & the star field.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

own

You're in the business. Modern.

skin.”

—Not bad. Finely nuanced.

 

47. I was so happy when I discovered there's a whole section of the Internet devoted to what the heck to say back when someone asks, “How is everything?” Thank God! Thank God! I'm not the only one.

 

“how

—A fine kettle. Pretty direct.

is

—Underneath everything. Like us.

everything?”

Nothing but beauty.

 

48. Some brothers and sisters are so deranged, the best thing you can do is dig down & summon your inner Frankenstein, then be very, very theatrical ... with a Marlon Brando lisp!

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

can't

—Under the full moon. A ladder.

stand

—Thlowly. Beautiful perthon!

the

That's a switch. Not quite.

sound

—Put yourself in the light.

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

voice!”

Nothing but beauty.

 

49. Defend your inner entity! Say something back! Some people at the Institute of Mindlessly Insane Imitations of Their Mother, being so hateful, spiteful & jealous when you excitedly cry out, “I've finished the project and have no competition!” cannot restrain themselves:

 

“don't

NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

speak

—So far. Dirt made my lunch.

too

—Very different. Look away!

soon.”

—That's it. A force of nature.

 

50. Ready to have your mind blown away? The real use of the Backtalktionary is to choose a response for the future. Your emotions know. They know what you need to know. That's their job! So what you do is go through the entire Backtalktionary, choose one response, memorize it ... then next time trouble strikes, Boom!

 

“that's

—Saved again! Being deceived.

shit.”

—You didn't pay for college.

 

51. Practice not being good, or you'll sink like a turd! (A baby's turds float!) Mothers themselves can intercept you at the corner market (“Ha, ha, ha!”) when you're buying the morning New York Times & make a sport out of being argumentative, negative & mean: “I've got to get to McDonald's before they close! It's called breakfast!”

 

“I

Luminescent. Let's leave it.

thought

—Right! Absolutely. Easy choice.

it

—Watch & wait. Back to you.

was

—You want it. Say it!

called

—I know what to do. Do less.

McDonald's.”

—Not today. Persevere.

 

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

maligned

No shit! Or vice versa.

her.”

—I guess. Leave me out of it!

 

 

“that's

—Saved again! Being deceived.

not

—I'll live. Taking it way too far.

going

—Not too busy. Elsewhere.

to

—No rush. Too much, too soon.

work.”

I know, right? Try it on.

 

52. I believe Mother Nature is my literal, symbolic & actual mother, much as Henry David Thoreau did at Walden Pond in 1847. Thus, when a bully on a third-grade playground cries out,

 

“your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

mother!”

If you can afford to. Go back.

 

I know exactly what to say back, even though they know nothing, never knew nothing, and never will know nothing! Or anything!

Let them find their fate and their fight somewhere else, certainly not along the river of life, where you and Huckleberry Finn have a chance to hang out.

 

“what?”

At all? Are you a thief?

 

53. In social interactions many people are thieves, fervently distracting you, taking over your life, assaulting your sense of well-being, and starting out by completely stealing your attention.

 

“are

—On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

okay?”

—Turn by turn. Let's hope.

 

54. If your attention is something that flies into a rabbit hole of imaginary inferences, let it fly back to your own life, whether anyone likes it or not! Don't let it drown in negative emotions! Don't let it get stuck in a swamp of foul feelings! Say something back, say anything at all back! Song lyrics, scripture, Tao Te Ching, Tarot. It doesn't even matter what you say back! Isn't that weird?

 

“I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

think

—Family & friends. Each of us.

you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

weird.”

Small world. If we agreed.

 

55. They think you're weird because you're happy & rich, and on some level they believe they can steal some of your pleasure & wealth. These people, who are stuck in their own misery, are called gutter snipes! Remember, they're stuck! The best advice you can give them is to “Let the machinery work,” and to “Never buy horses!” Okay. Here comes a meeting with a wonderful gutter snipe — Let's practice holding onto our attention (Hold your breath) and our wealth (Sense your belly). Prove to the sons-of-bitches they can't steal your happiness! (Your genitals!) Nobody can steal someone else's happiness. Blow the smoke away! It's impossible. You have to manufacture your own happiness (The part of you that dreams at night can teach you), and jealously hold onto every hint of that universal joy! Doo-dah!

 

“remember

You look me no up?

me?

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

how

—A fine kettle. Pretty direct.

much

—The hot grill! Break us all.

rent

—Don't worry. Never buy horses.

do

—Why would you? Can't miss.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

pay?

—In a way. I've earned it.

whatever ...

—That can't be right. Atomic.

just

—Dark & verby. Oh, man!

kidding.

Let the machinery work.

working

—But why? Maybe it's you.

hard?

—Nothing really. Think things!

keep

—If you say so. Trust me.

trying.

—Might could. Survival.

always!

—Who knows? Prolific.

behaving

—Bad timing. Mañana.

yourself?

—How so? Most of us don't.

staying

Not today. Persevere.

out

—If you can afford to. Go back.

of

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

trouble?

—Ke-mo sah-be. You got me!

keeping

—Aye-sí easy. Effortless.

busy?

—I did not see it coming.

getting

—Off rhythm. The opposite.

old,

—Oh, I'll get over it. to show you.

huh?

—If you say so. Trust me.

you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

hired!

—How amusing. I live there.

you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

fired!

Anything else? The towel.

you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

so

—Helping out. They never know.

bad.

—Beer & sandwich would be nice.

be

—But why? Maybe it's you.

good!”

—A rumor. So far. so long!

 

56. Imagine a backtalktionary GAMESCAPE bringing The Pilgrim's Progress, the spiritual allegory by John Bunyan, from 1678 to an age of artificial intelligence in which each & every word in a verbal attack contains a specific associated response. This could be called object-oriented self-defense. It's a child's dream. An enemy walks up to you somewhere along the River of Time, hands you a weapon with which to kill him or her, and you simply Think it!

 

“what

—At all? Are you a thief?

would

—How wonderful is that?

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

say

—Where's the redwood coming?

if

—Far better! Don't laugh.

someone

—It's maddening. Close call!

said,

My! Insultingly beautiful.

‘you're

—Naïve. There's no limit.

an

—Hold it! What's the password?

asshole?’

—Economically brilliant.

 

 

“ASSHOLE!”

REAL AXE! Sweetie.

 

57. Sometimes the unrestrained say racy things just to make the bottled-up squirm. Once you realize we're all lunatics, you do all right.

 

“I'd

—You didn't pay for college.

like

—I'm ready. New to me.

to

—No rush. Too much, too soon.

bend

—Naïve. There's no limit.

her

—I guess. Leave me out of it!

over

—Might could. Survival.

the

—That's a switch. Not quite.

table,

—Who, me? Knock it off!

give

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

her

—I guess. Leave me out of it!

some

—Wise up! Back away!

meat!”

Wild, huh? Laundry and all.

 

58. Q: How can you get along with dead, unresponsive meat? A: You can't, so quit trying. How can a spark of light get along with a bowl of dreary mush? Don't get drawn in!

 

“everybody,

—The edge! It's broken.

sing

—Shame is good. Sometimes.

along!”

—England! Where we should be.

 

59. Bitch! It's best to get ahead of the curve on this. When someone cries out “Bitch!” the word is reverberating in their own skull much louder than in yours. Could it be they're the bitch? Well, yeah!

 

“you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

BITCH!”

I'm aware of that. Graduated.

 

60. So let's move away from attack mode and into some real knowledge. If you're a girl and someone's hitting on you, there are some fiendishly clever ways to reject an upperclassman kindly:

 

“hey,

—Dollars make a huge impact.

what's

—Yin or Yang. Not available.

up?

—Coming down. Side pony!

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

look

—I'm a stranger here myself.

new

Not at all. It's no picnic.

here.”

—I must be a magnet.

 

“got

—Let the machinery work.

a

—For later. Brilliant.

jump?

Someone else. In this place.

can

—What you least expect. Edgy.

I

—Luminescent. Let's leave it.

borrow

—Try again. Not what you think.

your

—Not mine! I barrelled out!

pen?”

—Penny-pinching! Best not to.

 

“let

—No turning point. See it change.

me

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

just

—Dark & verby. Oh, man!

use

Afraid not. You'll be first up.

your

Not mine! I barrelled out!

cell

—I hate taking messages.

phone.

—Ke-mo sah-be. You got me!

thanks!

No trouble! Backätcha.

appreciate

—All set. Makes you cry.

it.”

—Watch & wait. Back to you.

 

“maybe

—Slavery. That's it for now.

we

—So foolish. An ice palace.

can

—What you least expect. Edgy.

hook up

If we had time. On your own.

sometime.”

—I decide what's for me.

 

“are

—On & off. Change itself.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

racist.”

—Hardly matters. Less likely.

 

“come

By no means, sir! By law.

on! ...

They do. They come undone.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

don't

—NO EXCEPTION. Sparingly.

want

—Left! To die for my country.

to

No rush. Too much, too soon.

be

—But why? Maybe it's you.

rude.”

You can't be too careful.

 

“give

—Just imagine. Anything goofy.

me

—Flow right in. Magnetism.

some

—Wise up! Back away!

help.

—I know it's a jungle out there.

put

—Here and now! That's all.

your

Not mine! I barrelled out!

finger

—Hardly. Quite unnecessary.

right

—No idea. I don't care anymore.

here.”

—I must be a magnet.

 

“then

—Refreshing. Expensive!

let's

—It's stage directions. Capiche?

meet

Not now. Not everyone.

up

—Coming down. Side pony!

on

They do. They come undone.

the

That's a switch. Not quite.

roof.”

—No rush. Too much, too soon.

 

61. A child knows life is overflowing with magic & mystery. It's inside you. Many people try to murder you with the mundane, and they carry it out by tricking you into pretending you're good. Nobody's good and nobody's bad. We're just people figuring out how to stay out of prison. At a restaurant, you can practice the good manners of “being bad!”

 

“have

Might could. Survival.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

decided?

—I know what to do. Do less.

do

—Why would you? Can't miss.

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

know

I do. You orbit. Amazing!

what

—At all? Are you a thief?

you

—Granite. Rubbish! & Rocks!

want?”

Left! To die for my country.

 

62. See how powerful kindness and knowledge can be? Einstein figured it out. So can you!

[Click here] for the Backtalktionary! Unless you're totally insane & coming from the future. Then [click here]. What on earth are you doing in the future? There's too much at stake. Boost your social skills. Say something back, whether anyone likes it or not.

Boost your ability to adhere to your own life ... to the dark side of you that dreams at night, which can be your best friend. Your side pony!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

25 February 2017